And search through all the forgotten cobwebs
Beat the tormenting clowns
And their silly faces
All bare fangs
And choke you while you sleep
Watch the dreams turned nightmares
Watch me live my life in vain
When you watch-
Will you sympathize
The child grown to be
Humanly exquisite?
Or will you fill your face
With disgust and run fastly from me?
Alive and beautiful
Is that what you see of me?
How much farther
Could you soak in your naivety?
Cause I'm ugly--
Disgusting, untrue
To how I feel
Always play the certain part
Never expose the dead decay
I'm a wild lie
On fire and running in circles
I believe in the light
The great miracle
But there is a point
Beyond rewinding
Where all is left to be
And thats how you get to me
Tired of the fake coats of color
I wear relentlessly
Whats to hide that they can't see?
You see it
I see it
So why do I burrow
And nessel so deeply under?
Whats to prevent them from hearing my thunder?
And if I remain to hide
Then what is it your hoping to find?
Trying to fix
What you can't break?
Its no use
Its like hanging your hope with a noose
Sooner than later
All brightness fades
And you too must admit
Its cold and silent where I lay
My bones are frail
And all flesh is blue
Is this what you thought you knew?
Does reality disturb you?
Does it chill you?
Maybe that's why mirrors scare me
Reminds me
Who the real freak of the show is
I write of paradise's yearned
But none ever seen
Because reality to me
Is a bit obscene
Because I'm afraid
To be that free
When dearkness clears
And your embrace tugs
What will be of me?
Who am I without insecurities?
How do I live without the lie
And how will it be
Finally walking that straight line?
Can I break the habbit
Of hide and seek?
And as anxiety fills
I fear whats left when all distortions are clear
I fear the time there is no fear
When you touch me
Will you remember my struggle?
The two sides of one I used to juggle?
Will my love to you
Be nothing but sweet reward?
Or will you leave my soul
Glad that you had me smitten?
And join my circus
Of the lost and forgotten?