Leave the world outside
Banging on the door
Don't even know if I'm awake
Or if I'm just dreaming
This world is pain
Hopeless is the way it's seeming
I'm broken don't try to fix me
I'm diseased but they'll never heal me
I used to have a gun that I'd sit and hold
I'd sit there with no tears while the trigger whispered
"Squeeze me. Squeeze me."
I had a knife that I wanted to use to bleed me
Held it against my veins
But I didn't end it because I was afraid of the pain
Never knew how many pills it would take
Never knew if the rope would break
Afraid of death so I take another breath
But I still don't want to open my eyes
How many lies
How many tears
How many times have I hidden my fears
Behind a joke and a smile
But somewhere in me the laughter dies
I'm guilty
I'm filthy
Skeletons in my closet sing me to sleep
I hurt you just to see you weep
Sadistic
Share my misery
Share my agony
That's the only way you can ever know me
Now I cry.
I'm alone squeeze my eyes shut
Try to fight my desires my lust
Try to be loyal to an ideal
To a love that isn't real
Or isn't there for me
To hold to have to violate
To desecrate
Like a disease I can't help but touch it
To want it to caress it
"My precious, my precious."
My temptation my weakness
My damnation is your sweetness
I want to end this
The knife so close to a wrist to slit
I blink I'm back I'm allright
None of that was real
I smile I laugh I wink
What did you think?
That the madman was the real me
That the knife in my back
Was the reason I bleed?
No I'm OK, really.
I was only playing
You should know by now
Not to listen to what I've been saying
Leave me now
Turn off the lights on the way out
I'll be fine
I'm allright
That's all I'll be
Until the day I die
