Wednesday Update for Halloween, October 31, 2001
In a surprising turn of events, Osama Bin Laden is NOT the scariest thing this Halloween, as for who is leading the list we have a tie for the 5th straight year between Pauly Shore and Pee-Wee Herman.
George W. Bush was seen throwing out the first pitch at last night’s World Series game, the pitch was low and away. The last thing Bill Clinton and Al Gore threw low and away were there political careers.
In a related story, Hillary Clinton is going, as herself for Halloween this year because, according to other New York Congressmen and women, her face is scary enough.
As is every year radio stations across the country re-broadcast of Orson Wells’s famous Halloween edition of Mercury Radio Theater. The story focuses around the small town Of Grover’s Mill, New Jersey where aliens had supposedly landed. The townspeople and onlookers then go and shoot the town water tower thinking it was the alien’s space ship. This year however, a town spokesperson said that the townspeople knew better after 50 or so years, although he could not explain the weird disappearance of half the citizens.
Navy football coach Charlie Weatherbee was fired as Navy’s head football coach because Navy has lost 17 of its last 18 games. Reportedly, anyone interested in the job will be interviewed by the firing squad.
As I suspected, Afghan northern alliance members did not dress up in Chicken suits and say they were from the United Nations, to get closer to Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban, well how does making a Trojan horse sound because it worked for the Greeks.
That is the news. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.