Poop, Dung, Excrement, Bodily Waste, Pony Loaf, C***, S***
Have you ever wanted to purposely scare any of the preceding out of somebody you know?
Well then you're sick and need to get professional help after this commmericial is over. But before that, you need this: (holds up small figurine) A Portable, Miniature, Abominable Snowman. (cheeky smile)
Through this limited time offer, The Mythological Society of America, along with the 'Toy Companies against Sweatshops Coalition', is now offering these special limited edition figurines for just $9.95.
These little monsters are guaranteed to scare anybody!
Look at how it effects subject 'A'
(Spokesman holds it in front of subject 'A')
(Subject 'a' fake screams for half a second)
WOW! Wasn't that amazing folks?
If you order in the next five seconds we'll give two million dollars, tax free in a swiss bank account.
(Spokesman looks at his watch)
Well that offer is now up, apparently no phone number equals no money for any of you but you can still get order this highly collectible piece made out of REAL, GENUINE, PLASTIC so call now 1-800-A-RIPOFF
(fade out)