Studitis Or Hottieitis in females

Symptoms:

Over inflated ego.
The use of boyfriend/girlfriend as 'trophy' or gateway into more/better social circles.
Use of 'fashion accessories' (hair gel, eye shadow, etc.) skyrockets.

Surgeon General's Warning: Girls are addictive, expensive and cause an overall lack of common sense.

Wallet Reccession

Symptoms:

Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Overall lack of self control, Impulse control and/or hormones.

Treatment Options:

A) break up
B) hand over all the money to me
C) go to college and get a better job
D) separarion of significant other via kro bar, shotgun, or a dozen roses and a kissoff