Easter Sunday 2003
What's the Use?
Ever think or say this?
I would guess you have at least once in your lifetime. I have asked this of myself over many things in life. It usually followed hand in hand with "What's the purpose?"
Sometimes it is the first thought entering my mind in the morning as I contemplate having to pull back the covers that have snuggled themselves around me, keeping me warm and somewhat secure during the night. The day beckons me to release myself from my dreamy, restful state, and rise to meet the cold reality of "living" and life.
What's the use?
What's the purpose?
What's the meaning of life?
Several times in my life I have had purposes and fulfilled them. Sometimes I have failed. A few times I have made some real poor decisions. I really think I have more of a grasp of the meaning of life than what I do for purpose.
It is very hard to live a life with purpose and not let the interruptions that life brings derail me from whatever purpose or set of goals I have decided upon.
I thought it would be good to establish a few reader friends who might respond to my writings every two weeks. I failed to take into account that even friends who love to read may not want or have the time to respond. Not having any responsiveness was the reason of not just posting the stories onto my website.
But this has not been a failure. What I have found is a nice way to introduce myself to new people. New people not randomly chosen but those who appear interesting to become friends with. Although just a few in number these new friends I have been blessed with have enriched my life.
I have always intended not to be a pest with being a friend. The internet is a great place to meet friends but relationships are fleeting. Internet friends come and go across the land of cold wires and hot chips, sometimes with the wind, sometimes as a storm or gentle breeze. Few last a season, even fewer a year or more.
But have you not all received some sort of forwarded e-mail about the meaning of friendship? Friends leave impressions upon us. Some light and fleeting touches, some much heavier that delve deeper into our inner selves. Neither ever to become completely forgotten as their impressions remain within us, permanently within our minds in one form or another. Friends enrich us in this manner and there are many places within my website where I say more about this.
I have set my goals as I have stated elsewhere among the website pages, with the intention that my companionship part of my life I will review in Walt Disney World in May in 2004. I guess I best plan to do this even if I end up doing by my self. Obviously I do not plan to do on my own, nor do I plan to do with just one other, but to have a relaxing time with several friends.
Am I desiring to do this just to be unique?
The answer is no.
I want to do this for those who have not been there before or that it has been many years since their last time, or that they love the place as much as I have. I want to do this for those friends who have opened up to me in friendship and have come to mean the most to me. I am goofy enough to believe that there may be some friends who are married or get seriously involved, that they may desire to be there at the same time just for the fun of it all (getting their own rooms and such but I would certainly encourage them to be my guest in some of the dinners and events). All of our resources are limited, including my own of course and who knows how things actually could or would work out. Does it hurt to dream and hope?
What's the use?
What's the purpose?
I am getting close to being healed from my foot surgery. I feel ready to grab hold of my dream and keep looking forward, afraid to evaluate too much my goal or I would lose hope if I lose my dream. So those friends of mine who may read of this and try and tell me how stupid it is, ever hear "It was like talking to a brick wall?"
I am not looking to jump off some cliff or rush headlong into this decision of companionship rapidly. It has taken over two decades to get to this point, one more year should not be too long to wait while using the time to make some changes. Lord and Wayne willing :)
Norman Vincent Peale was quite the idealist perhaps but I had a lot of respect for him. I can not remember any of his sermons or exactly how he would say things as I was a very young child. But years ago I did get his calendars and one of them, a picture of White Birch trees among the snow, which I have upon my wall and I am looking upon now, says "If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself." This is the first part of my goal, as I seek to become different myself, especially physically, and prepare myself for the next step.
I do not really know if it is Zig Ziglar or Stephen Covey, and it may be both of them, but I do know that a person can not expect different results by doing things exactly the same way all the time. Yet we all at one point or another do this don't we? We expect our lives to be different by doing the same thing all the time. Silly and goofy huh?
My second part is to focus upon the new life I intend to work towards. I am going to seek very hard not to let friendships ever interfere, but for friendships to always build upon this goofy male's life. My "spiritual" development I plan to begin will start with two to three hours of study, meditation (and/or deep prayer some would say) every Sunday I have off. Then to follow this with looking for new friends for a couple of hours. Finally, to spend the remainder of the day, about five hours, responding to friends who have found the time to share with me during the two-week previous period. I get to develop a closer friendship by their sharing with me and then me sharing with them more personal "stuff", which should also help me to remain enthused about the goals I am working towards.
Will I respond to forwarded e-mails? (Note - attachments are not necessarily forwards). If you think so I think you might want to read more of my introduction to myself. I will have a tendency to share my pictures perhaps a little sooner for those who wish me to do so and who share with me theirs. I plan to use the majority of my time on my Sunday off every two weeks being much more personal with those friends who choose this. Having chat times have not ever worked out since we all live busy lives usually and even while off on my foot surgery, setting times did not work out. The chats were VERY nice when we could, but it is far too much hassle in life to set these up. E-mails seem best.
What about the writing which I like to do while watching tapes? I plan to place these as they are finished onto this website. That way those friends who just want to read whatever this goofy guy might have to share can do so and not ever be bothered with having to send me an e-mail again. They are still my friends, they just leave different foot prints on me. And ... who knows? Perhaps one day they may send me an e-mail out of the blue (or land of cold wires and hot chips) and surprise me. I think I would always love that.
With the foot injury I did not rent any tapes except I did have a friend get me one I could not resist watching while off work and it was not shown around here during its release. The movie is called "The Secretary" I believe (goofy male, remembers the visual cover more than the title, but it was a week ago
So if you have the time and desire for the personal touch, please send me an e-mail about yourself (personal as in that it is about you, such as goals, dreams, daily happenings; not personal as to "personal stuff" only your mother, best friend or pastor should know, unless I am your best friend and you want to share) and when my Sunday rolls around, I sure will try and send you one in return. I am not playing any games here and I am really sincere about all this. Please respect me enough to do the same in return.
I do hope you have, have had, a VERY HAPPY EASTER and that the reason for the season has struck you in a positive way as it has me.
Happy Easter and God Bless,
WayneKarl
HUGS, Peace and a whole lot of JOY and LOVE :)