Ian was watching the Hobbits in their merry pursuit of mischief. Over the last few months their practical jokes had acquired the quality of an art form and their favourite victim was the hapless Beanie. Ian knew for a fact the Yorkshireman locked his trailer door now and always shook out his costume in case of itching powder or plastic snakes but that didn't deter the collaborators. Somehow Beanie would unsheath his sword only to discover it was a rubber one or lift the Horn of Gondor only to have a shower of glitter sprinkle down over his head. Then there would be peals of laughter with the enraged Beanie in hot pursuit of the far more athletic Hobbits.

Ian heard Elijah's girly giggle followed by Beanie's indignant roar - they'd caught him again. This time it was an electric buzzer attached to the hilt of his sword. Ian saw Sean and Dom sprinting for the cover of the canteen tent while Billy hid behind Viggo. It was however Elijah who was Beanie's quarry. Elijah whooped with laughter, turned in mid-sprint and rugby tackled Beanie to the ground. It was difficult to say who was laughing more. At this point Ian decided his lover needed taking down a peg or two. He went over to the madly writhing pair and said in his most suave tones, "Sean, dear boy?"

Beanie caught Elijah securely and looked up at Ian with thinly disguised suspicion.

"If you are seeking retribution, you'll find our Hobbit is especially ticklish around the midriff." As he beat a hasty retreat, Elijah's screams turned shrill.

The next day Ian was enjoying a cup of tea with Orlando and Viggo in the canteen tent. He glanced up and noticed again the smirk they were exchanging. He had the distinct impression Something was afoot. He checked his face in the reflective surface of the serviette dispenser but found nothing to produce hilarity - he'd been wearing Gandalf's beard in a hair net since day one. He registered movement out of the corner of his eye and just caught a glimpse of Billy ducking behind the canvas. Understanding dawned: he was to be the Hobbits' next victim.

"Well, I think I'll go for a smoke. Excuse me, gentlemen."

"No! Wait." Viggo grabbed his hand while Orlando practically slid across the table to stop him leaving. Ian's eyes narrowed but a second later he smiled placidly and accepted Viggo's offer of a jam tart - it occurred to him it might be more fun to play along.

For the rest of the day, Ian affected an expression of unknowing innocence. He saw the Hobbits huddling in a corner, casting him many a furtive glance and he wondered just how Beanie could be so stupid as to fall for their plotting. He opened his book and pretended to be absorbed but he had placed a tiny mirror on the pages and he could see what Elijah was up to - he was breaking into Ian's trailer. Sean and Dom had been called onto set to do a scene but Billy was standing guard. Ian closed his book and unhurriedly sauntered off in the opposite direction. Once safe, he checked Billy wasn't following and sprinted for his trailer via the car park and make up tent.

He caught Elijah red handed smearing joke glue over Gandalf's staff. He swooped down on him, wrapping him in a bear hug. Elijah evaded capture half heartedly then obviously decided the delights of Ian's body were worth confinement.

"What have we here? A Hobbit caught off his guard?"

They toppled back on the couch and Elijah wriggled on top of Ian who had both arms firmly round his waist.

"I was just looking for you," Elijah opined, blessing Ian with his patented little boy lost look.

"Really? You forget I am Maia and can read your filthy little mind." Ian stroked back Elijah's soft hair, rested light fingers over his temples. "There's a penalty for playing with Gandalf's staff, you know."

Elijah caught the innuendo at once of course. He gazed into his lover's wickedly twinkling eyes. "What kinda penalty?"

He felt the younger man's body shiver and he slipped his hand under the waistband of his breeches. "I think Gandalf is going to have to spank Frodo."

He meant it, actually, as a throw away remark - a joke - so he was caught off guard by Elijah's reaction. The American fluttered his eyes closed and thrust his hips against him in what Ian could only describe as wanton abandon. He was about to say something, though his brain certainly didn't know what, when there was a knock at the door and Billy was calling them on set.

Elijah was held back by Peter so Ian had more than enough time to prepare for certain eventualities. He had just settled in the living room when the Hobbit made his usual noisy entrance. "Ian? Are you home!?"

"No, I don't think so!" Ian shouted back but he had barely got the words out before his lap was full of over-heated Hobbit. Elijah tugged the book out of his hand, rained little kisses over his face. Ian smiled up at him a little absently and asked matter of factly: "Did you finish the scene?"

Elijah pouted at his reaction and Ian smiled to himself - that'll teach you for plotting against me. "Yeah. Kiss me."

Ian cradled his face, kissed him obediently but just as Elijah was getting really interested, pulled away and picked up his book with a sigh of contentment. He affected a studious air and muttered, "If you're going in the kitchen, make me a cup of tea would you?"

He heard Elijah bang the door on his way out. He grinned.

Elijah was adorable. Ian played him like a pro, one minute firing his interest with a certain look or touch, the next making him pout with his seeming disinterest. Elijah's agitation grew and Ian was quite well aware of the young man's arousal - he was practically pumping out pheromones. His jeans were nice and tight and Ian amused himself by rubbing the centre of them. Elijah opened his legs obligingly, tilted his hips but Ian suddenly jumped up and away.

"Dinner! It'll be burning." He had of course timed it beautifully. Elijah gave a whimper of frustration and Ian saw him kneading himself as he quitted the room.

He kept up his slow teasing of his lover all during dinner. He locked gazes with him while sucking down a length of spaghetti, rubbed his foot against his and leaned in for soft tender kisses. Each time Elijah tried to initiate something more, Ian would reach for the garlic bread or the sauce. Elijah was wriggling uncomfortably by the time they'd finished.

"It's your turn to wash up, I believe," Ian said without inflection, just a normal run of the mill household chore needing doing.

Elijah searched his gaze but found nothing but Ian's usual affection. He piled the plates with considerably more noise than the situation demanded and threw them in the sink. Ian had to turn away to keep the American from seeing the big broad grin on his face.

While Elijah attacked the pots, Ian cleaned the table and work surfaces, humming absently to himself. Then he strolled off with the newspaper: this was going splendidly.

Ian ducked behind the door. He had left the door open just enough so he could squint through the crack between the hinges and the door. Elijah was rocking himself against the cupboard. Good. He waited until Elijah was down to his last bowlful of pots then made his entrance. He stood behind the Hobbit, wrapping one hand across his chest while the other snaked lower.

"Now about my staff, my Hobbit," he said letting his voice drop down low. He felt Elijah melt back against him and he kissed his cheek. He rubbed Elijah's hardness through his jeans for a few minutes then unzipped them. Elijah made a happy sound as Ian's hand fastened where it could do most good.

"Finish the pots, dear."

Elijah trembled in his arms in gratifying fashion but the washing up prevented him from using his own hands. Ian continued his leisurely exploration of the younger man's body. He slid the jeans and briefs down his legs encouraging him to lift one leg then the other so he could remove them entirely. While Elijah was occupied in scrubbing a particularly grimy casserole dish, Ian knelt behind him and kissed each springy buttock before running hot wet kisses up his tailbone to the small of his back, knowing how sensitive he was there.

Elijah moaned and shifted but when he removed his hands from the soapy water to touch himself, Ian moved away. "Attend to the washing up," he commanded and snaked up his hand to tweak Elijah's nipple in reprimand. Elijah whimpered but did as he was told. It was just as well, Ian considered, that there was nothing breakable or sharp in the bowl of water.

He returned his attention to his lover's very pert and squashy bottom. He encouraged Elijah to spread his legs so he could nuzzle between them. Elijah jumped like a scalded cat at the contact - he was very hot and ready, leaking pre-cum.

"Aaaah! Come on Ian. Please!"

"All good things come to he who waits," he replied piously. He levered himself to his feet because his knees were protesting loudly; he wrapped one hand lovingly round Elijah's cock, the other twisted his nipple through his shirt. He leaned close to his ear, dropped his voice low to a Gandalf rumble: "If I let you come, Hobbit, will you be able to perform again?"

Elijah was almost whimpering with frustration as he tried to drive himself into Ian's hands which just weren't co-operating enough. "I promise! God, Ian, please!" His fretful hands were stirring up the water, sending it lapping over the too-full bowl over their bodies.

"Very well." Ian increased the pressure of his hands as Elijah pumped back and forth. More water spilled and they were both getting bruised from the cupboard's sharp edges. With a strangled cry, Elijah came.

When Elijah had recovered enough to remember his own name, Ian pulled him round. He cupped Elijah's perfect face in his large hands, stroked his eyelashes, his fragile cheekbones, his straight nose. He kissed him gently, returning to the tenderness they were more used to. Elijah smiled into the kiss, breathed, "I love you, you horny old wizard."

Ian twinkled then deepened the kiss, drawing Elijah over to the table. He perched on it while Elijah stood between his legs, practically crawling on top of him. Ian enjoyed rubbing the material of the American's shirt over Elijah's muscled torso. The American made a move to unbutton it but Ian stilled him. "Leave it on."

"I always figured you wizards were pervs." Elijah bucked his hips forward, his already hardening cock half covered by the length of his shirt, the material itching him. He caught Ian's lip between sharp little teeth, said hoarsely, "I like you like this, all hot and commanding."

Ian threw back his head while Elijah followed a wet path across his jawline to his ear then down his neck. "It's not too much?"

Elijah looked up, frowned ever so slightly then seemed to come to a decision. "I like it, want it." He raised the shirt so Ian could see the evidence of his desires, said very deliberately, "Spank me, Ian."

Ian felt the spark travel all the way down his body to his groin where it exploded like a thousand of Gandalf's fireworks. He plunged his tongue into Elijah's mouth, kissed him very hard. Their tongues duelled, advancing and retreating while all the while Elijah jammed his crotch against Ian's.

Ian broke away, made Elijah look at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Elijah ran his fingers through Ian's dishevelled hair, pulled his ear close so he could whisper. "This afternoon in the trailer, turned me on no end. Do it."

Ian nodded and moved away from Elijah. The American pouted and Ian stroked his hand comfortingly. "Lean forward, love."

"Here?"

"Oh yes. Lean forward." Elijah willingly leaned over the table with one of the chair pads under him and Ian urged him to spread his legs. His erection was crushed between his body and the surface of the table and he bucked forward. Ian stopped him with an open handed slap. Elijah squeaked and felt the heat blush across his buttock. He leaned forward submissively.

Ian regarded his lover quizzically. His own heart was racing and if he didn't get release he was going to die. Elijah shifted impatiently and Ian frowned. He slithered his hand under Elijah's lithe body, tweaked hard at his nipple. "Do not move. I will not repeat the command. Do you understand?"

"Sure."

"I beg your pardon?" Again he tweaked the nipple, enjoying the way Elijah's body jerked.

"Yes, Ian, I understand."

"Tell me why you are being punished."

Elijah turned his head so he could meet Ian's gaze insolently. "Because you caught me with my hand on your staff."

Ian slapped his bottom again, harder this time. "I do not recall giving you permission to raise your head. Until you are given leave, you will maintain this position. Any infraction will be treated as an offense and dealt with accordingly. Do you understand?" <>"Yes Ian."

"Excellent." His voice took on the tones of a school master upbraiding a particularly unruly pupil. "How many practical jokes have you played on Sean Bean?"

Elijah was growing impatient again. He wanted action, not words. He deliberately pumped himself across the table, expecting retribution. The punishment was swift and almost painful - Ian's slapped his buttocks hard three times. When he was sure his victim had got his breath back, Ian repeated his question.

"Three."

"Three." Ian appeared to think deeply while he plastered his own needy body against Elijah's. "It seems you are in sore need of discipline." Elijah couldn't agree more. "I think five spanks per misdemeanour. How many spanks is that in total, Elijah?"

Mental arithmetic was never his strong suit especially when his lover was pressed over his body, his fingers toying with his bottom. "Um, 15."

"Incorrect. You have forgotten to add the requisite number for the incident in my trailer. Really, Elijah you are being most difficult. Perhaps we should postpone this session until you are - "

"No! 20! I deserve twenty spanks."

"Much better." Ian rocked backwards and forwards between his legs and gently tongued his ear lobe. "Are you ready?"

"Yes Ian."

Ian pulled away and Elijah had to grit his teeth to stop from groaning at the loss of pressure. He was going to burst, he knew he was. Ian took a moment to again regard his lover, all wanton and hard, his skin flushed with desire, tiny tremors running down his form, his shirt sticking to his back with sweat. Ian decided he wanted to see naked flesh now. He encouraged Elijah to lean off the table while he slowly unbuttoned the offending clothing. He slipped it off his shoulders, adding a gentle bite to the left. Elijah's back was sheened in sweat, a drop pooling in the small of his back. Ian leaned in to lick it off before moving away. He spun the shirt round and round til it was formed into a fat rope then he whizzed it though the air a few times, delighting in Elijah's expectant moans.

He slapped the shirt across Elijah's left buttock, following it smartly with four more. Elijah cried out, pressed forward.

Ian observed his reaction carefully, giving him a few moments to ease. He touched the flush like red wine staining over his peachy cheek.

"How many was that?"

"Five Ian."

"Are you ready for the next five?" At Elijah's affirmative, he sent the next set more gently against his spread thighs, the angle ensuring the occasional contact with his balls. This time the groan was much more throaty and aroused. Ian slid his hand underneath him to toy with his balls, ensuring the American was kept on the edge of arousal. Then he discarded the shirt in favour of his hand and spanked him open handed.

Elijah's breathing was ragged. Ian stroked the redness he had created, enjoying the scalding heat on his colder fingers. He pressed against Elijah's hole with a finger and Elijah spread his legs further. Ian smiled and kissed his shoulder.

"You are being very amenable, Elijah. How many more spanks do you deserve?"

"Five Ian."

"Very good. Your mathematics has improved too. Now let me see." His voice took on the tone of a scientist who is examining a clinical specimen. "The question is - where should the final spanks be directed?"

"Aah, anywhere! Just do it."

"I don't remember asking for your advice." He slapped the roundness of his left cheek and Elijah shuddered pleasingly. "Perhaps hard across the curve." He stroked his hand across the swell of buttocks. "Or low to strike your thigh?" His wicked hand barely touched him there. He tweaked his buttock and then came round to the front of the table. Elijah's eyes were such a dark wanton blue, his cheeks were almost as red as his bottom and his lips were swollen. "Look at me."

The American looked up, met his gaze. Ian knelt so he was on a level. He stroked back Elijah's hair from his eyes, kissed him gently. "Are you all right?" he asked in his normal voice and Elijah beamed happily both at his care and the session.

"Oh yeah."

Ian nodded then abruptly stood up, gazing down at him, all dominant and commanding once more. "What is your opinion, Elijah? Where should the last five spanks be directed?"

Elijah's mind really wasn't working anymore. "I don't know, don't care."

"That is not an acceptable answer. You appear to be preoccupied."

He broke off suddenly, went over to a shelf in Elijah's field of vision and took down a bottle of cooking oil. He returned to Elijah's nether regions and again slid his hand under him to squeeze and play with his balls. Elijah whimpered and pumped forward - he was so close to coming. Ian immediately slammed his hand down hard on his right cheek, soliciting a pained cry. He opened the table's drawer, extracted something; Elijah began to turn round, his curiosity peaked but he remembered just in time and lay back down with a dissatisfied humpf. Ian unstoppered the oil and worked it into Elijah's bottom, over and across and down. He could feel Elijah shiver and tense at every touch and he grinned wickedly. He slid his finger inside him, coating him.

"Lift your hips up for me."

Elijah did so, he was very wide open now and Ian kissed the small of his back comfortingly. Then he ran the implement he had taken from the drawer all the way up and down his lover's spine; it felt blunt, quite broad and skin hot. Before Elijah could work that one out, the Brit flicked a switch and the room was filled with a slight buzzing noise. Again Elijah fought with his curiosity but again decided to be obedient.

Ian held out his hand to Elijah so he could see the vibrator.

"Since you appear distracted, perhaps this will help to crystallise your thinking." And he slid the turned off vibrator slowly, oh so teasingly inside. Elijah sighed at the possession.

Ian came to kneel in his field of vision again; Elijah's burning gaze was slightly unfocussed, directed inward. He kissed him to get his attention.

"I'm going to leave you now." Elijah's mouth gaped open. "You will remain still during my absence while you decide where the last five spanks should be struck. When I return we will complete the punishment and, if I feel you deserve it, I will bring you to climax. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Ian."

Ian paced the living room, forcing himself to count slowly to 300. His erection raged and he lost it about 200 and decided to take a peek at his lover. Elijah was lying perfectly still but Ian could see the expression of pleasure on his face. He made a show of entering and returned between Elijah's legs.

"Have you considered my question?"

"Yes Ian."

"You are becoming a very apt pupil, Elijah. Tell me."

"Across my ass."

"Very good. Did you move during my absence?"

There was a hesitation. "Yes Ian."

"I see."

"I couldn't help it. Fuck it, Ian I need to come now!!!" And Elijah was half off the table. Ian caught him, kissed him.

"Hush, love. Lie down, it's all right. Shh. Do you want us to stop? We can do - here let me at you - "

But Elijah evaded his hands. "No, this is too good. Please, Ian," the American hissed with pleasure, "carry on, please, for fuck's sake carry on."

Reassured, Ian resumed his commanding mien. "Some punishment for your willful disobedience is in order I believe. Do you agree?"

"Yes Ian."

"Very well. Another five spanks. You will count them out."

Ian pulled Elijah so he was kneeling on all fours on the table. The view was definitely exhilarating and it was all Ian could do to keep himself under control. He picked up the abandoned shirt and sent it across Elijah's already reddened buttocks five time. He waited until his breathing was more under control then, gave another five. Elijah canted his hips into the punishments, spreading himself wider while he hoarsely cried out the count.

Ian was breathing almost as raggedly as his lover. It was definitely time to see to his own aching need as well as Elijah's. He went to the head of the table and began removing his clothes; Elijah watched him greedily, his breathing hiking up another notch.

"Ready?" Ian asked him and Elijah swallowed hard a few times. He couldn't speak, merely nodded.

Ian returned to his position and gently removed the vibrator. Elijah gave a keening moan which was replaced by a mewl of utter pleasure as Ian's cock filled the void. The older man nearly lost his mind as his lover's burning body clamped around him. He flicked a switch on the vibrator and it began to hum.

"Support yourself," he whispered and Elijah grasped the table sides with sweaty hands. Ian pumped himself inside while sweeping the vibrator against Elijah's cock and balls. His other hand was occupied in keeping Elijah upright. Elijah was grunting and screaming with the pleasure of the duel assault. Ian angled himself deeper, trying to last a few more seconds then he felt Elijah freeze before screaming long and loud as he came. Ian felt his own body explode a second later. Eventually when Elijah could think enough he found himself slumped over the table, Ian lying next to him, still breathing hard, his body flushed and sheened with sweat. Elijah decided there was nothing so beautiful as Ian so replete.

"That was ... No, actually there aren't any words for how good that was."

Ian traced a gentle hand over his tired looking face. "Come on love. Bed."

Elijah discovered his legs wouldn't obey his command to walk so Ian, using up the last of his own strength, carried him to bed and laid him down. Ian straddled his boneless body and Elijah mustered together the energy to touch his lips. "I think I love you even more now," he said.

"Hmmm? Why, because I spanked you?" There was a twinkle in Ian's eyes, but a seriousness too.

Elijah tugged weakly at his hand and Ian took the hint and leaned down for a kiss.

"No, because you gave me what I wanted."

"I thought I always did that."

"Hmmm, but sometimes ..."

"Go on."

"Sometimes you treat me like a china doll or something." He kissed Ian's palm to take away the sting. "Don't get me wrong, I love your gentleness. I don't want you to think I want it rough - but it was nice just for once."

"Yes it was nice." Ian's eyes were very blue, all his emotions there for Elijah to read. "And you're right - I do have a tendency to treat you like you're going to break."

"I love you for caring, Ian. I love you, okay?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me of your concern?"

Elijah's answering grin was all devilment. "And miss out on such great sex? No way."

Ian stroked Elijah forehead beneath the still damp hair. "Go to sleep, love while I clean us up." He stroked down to his hips, cradled his hipbones. "Sore?"

"Hmmm." Elijah was half asleep.

"Excellent."

Elijah's eyes flickered open.

"Excellent because that means I can rub in a soothing cream later." Ian kissed him tenderly on the lips and Elijah tugged at his hand to hold it over his heart.