It took about an hour before the Doctor came out and said that one person could see Enid for a few minutes. There was no question it would be Ezra, they had all watched the normally emotionless man, become a bundle of raw emotions as he thought about Enid and what she'd been through. The whole scene of when they found her, kept replaying in his mind, squeezing at his heart each time, so now he was grateful for the chance to see her. He quietly stepped into the room, glancing at all the monitors attached to her, the respirator rising and falling with each breath. He moved next to the bed, seeing her pale, lifeless face, she still looked beautiful to him. He reached over and took her hand gently, not wanting to cause her pain, to the cuts on her arm. He brushed the hair back off her forehead, feeling warmth there. "Enid, my love, you have to fight, please? Don't let that bastard win, besides I need you." He bent and kissed her forehead, then suddenly the heart monitor began a long, solid tone, he knew what it meant, but couldn't wrap his mind around the fact, then before he could think, the Doctor and nurses were there, one of them taking him gently by the arm and pulling him out of the room.

"Please wait out here Mr. Standish."

"Enid, she's.........she's." He couldn't say it, his voice was choked with pain and grief. He found the nearest chair and dropped into it, burying his face in his hands and crying. A few moments later, the doctor came out, his eyes full of worry as he saw Ezra.

"Mr. Standish, Enid is alive, we got her heart beating again, but I am afraid that we can't let her have any more visitors, not until she's stronger." He sat next to Mr. Standish, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"She's......she's alive?" He was so relieved, he would be more than happy to stay away, if it meant she would get well.

"Yes she is, but she's too weak, I should have realized that she wasn't strong enough for visitors yet."

"I'm sorry if I caused that, I would never hurt her." Ezra's tears were subsiding, but he was still scared for her.

"I know, it wasn't your fault, I think you should go and get some rest." The doctor placed his and on Ezra's shoulder, trying to give him some support. "You can't see her for a while anyway."

"I can't go home, there's too many memories there." He didn't know what to do, he was so very tired, but where could he go.

"I am sure that one of your friends would let you stay with them."

"Yeah, I guess I can ask." He was so drained, right now he didn't care about himself in the least, he could not get his mind off of Enid.

*********************************************************************

Just as Chris and Ezra were leaving the hospital, JD and Jessie came rushing in. They both looked haggard and worried. Jessie immediately went to Ezra and gave him a hug, then looked into his sad, emerald green eyes, wanting to take his pain away. "How is she Ezra?"

"Not good Jessie, they let me see her for a few minutes, but she was too weak, her heart stopped, I thought that was it, but they brought her back, so she can't have any visitors until she's stronger, I'm sorry you had to end your trip." He hugged Jessie, he knew that Enid was her best friend and she must be in a lot of pain too.

"I am sorry Ezra, that must have been hard, seeing her heart stop like that, but you can't blame yourself." She gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, then turned and walked into the waiting room with JD, "Good night Ezra, try to get some rest."

"Thank you Darlin, take care of her Mr. Dunne."

"Don't worry Ezra, I will." JD put his arm around Jessie as they sat down, then she put her head on his shoulder and they were both quickly asleep.
Ezra wound up going to Chris's house for the night, but he had trouble sleeping, his dreams were not bad, at first, they were of that last time they had made love, how intense and wonderful it had been, but then it turned to when he found her, laying in a pool of her own blood, her body full of stab wounds. That was when he would start to cry and whisper her name in his sleep.
Chris had heard Ezra crying and calling Enid's name quietly in his sleep, it broke his heart to hear Ezra like that, he'd never seen the man display this kind of emotion. He knew how deep Enid and Ezra's love had become, they spent every moment together, Enid even having moved in with him. He knew if Enid survived this, that Ezra would propose to her, he loved her too much not to. He tried to sleep, but the sobbing and mumbling in the room next store, tore at his soul and he just wished there was something he could do for him.
In the morning, Ezra was eager to get back to the hospital, he needed to know if Enid had survived the night. He hadn't gotten much sleep, his dreams were vivid and terrifying, so he kept bolting awake in the night. He watched Chris come out of his room, he looked like he hadn't slept much either. "Morning Mr. Larabee."

"Morning Ezra, how ya feeling this morning?" He could see the dark circles under his eyes, he knew Ezra hadn't slept much, every time he was jerked awake by his dreams, he had let out a cry and it had wakened Chris.

"Just wonderful, can we go now?" He was almost shaking with his need to get to the hospital.

"Sure Ezra, but I don't think you need to be worried, I am sure someone would have called if anything happened." Chris tried not to smile at Ezra's nervousness, he understood how he felt. "Let's go."
They drove to the hospital in silence, neither of them wanting to talk, they just hoped Enid was still alive. They knew that if she survived the night, it would be a good thing and that perhaps she would make it. Ezra knew it would be a long, hard, painful road back to health for her, but he intended to be there for her every step of the way. They arrived at the hospital to find that Rebecca, Cat, Vin, Buck, Jessie, and JD had never left. Rebecca had informed them that Elaine, Shell, Maria, and Nathan had spent the entire night at the loft, gathering evidence and working up a profile. Finally Ezra couldn't take it any more, he had to ask. "How is she?"

"About the same Ezra, she made it through the night, her heart hasn't stopped again, the doctor is encouraged, but she's still in grave condition, it's going to take time." Rebecca was worried, she was glad Enid made it through the night, but she still wasn't out of the woods.

"Thank you Rebecca, when can I talk to Doctor Peters?" Ezra sat down, he was suddenly feeling the lack of sleep that night.

"He said he would be around shortly, you can talk to him then." Cat could see how tired Ezra looked and knew he hadn't gotten any sleep that night. "I wish we had better news Ezra."

"Believe me Darlin, just knowing she made it through the night, is good news to me." He attempted a smile, but it was weak and forced. He laid down across the chairs and closed his eyes, it helped to have the others around and he drifted into a peaceful sleep.

*********************************************************************

Ezra felt someone shaking his shoulder, he tried to push them away, but they persisted, then he heard Chris's voice. "Come on Ezra, wake up, the doctor is here to talk to you." That got his attention and he sat up, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. "Doctor, how is she?"

"The fact that she's still alive is a good sign, her heart has not stopped since the last time, when you were in the room, also another good sign, however her vitals are still unstable and it may be quite some time before she comes too, even once her body is stronger."

"What do you mean? Why?" Ezra was confused, he figured as soon as she was stronger, she would wake.

"You have to understand, she's been through a tremendous trauma, both physically and emotionally, she may not wake until her mind is ready to cope with what happened to her, she will have to deal with the emotional trauma as well as the physical."

"I will do whatever I can, I know she will respond to me, she loves me, almost as much as I love her." He knew she loved him more, but right now he didn't see how anyone could love another person, as much as he loved his Honey Spice, even calling her that when they made love.

"That will be a big help, there's no doubt about that, but don't take it personally if she doesn't respond to you, at least not at first, give it time." He stood to leave, he needed to check on Ms. Smith before he began rounds. "I'll check back with you later."

"Thank you doctor." Ezra looked around at the others in the room, seeing their concern for him in their eyes. "Don't worry about me, I will be fine." He laid back down and fell back to sleep, a single tear falling from his emerald eyes, as he thought of the difficult, painful road that Enid had ahead of her, little did he know just what that would involve, but he soon would.

***********************************************************

Enid didn't know how long she had been floating in the black fog, she only knew it seemed like an eternity. She couldn't feel or sense anything, it was like she was detached from her body, the only time anything changed for her, was when her heart stopped. It was then that a bright light would begin to fill the darkness, it was so very warm and inviting, washing over her, filling her soul with warmth and love. As she felt herself being drawn to that light, each time her heart stopped, a vision of Ezra came into her mind and it pulled her back, making her fight against the pull of the light, she wanted to be with Ezra, she would fight with every once of strength she could muster, to stay where she could be with him, knowing to go into the light, would take her from him forever. Her memories of what happened to her were distant right now, her mind focused on fighting to stay alive, willing her body to work, focusing her thoughts on making her heart beat and her lungs breath, needing to become stronger.

**********************************************************************

As Ezra slept, he felt like he could feel Enid's presence, reaching out to him, seeking his love and strength. He thought it was just a dream, he wanted more than anything to give her all his strength, to help her with the fight she was in to stay alive. What he didn't know, was it wasn't a dream and he was giving her love and strength, their souls were forever linked by their love and both would have the other to help pull them through anything. "Enid" He mumbled, feeling her soul touching his, he prayed it didn't mean she was dying.

"Ezra, wake up Ezra." Cat gently shook Ezra, trying to wake him from the dream he was having, it was apparently causing him distress.

"Enid?" He whispered again.

"No Ezra, it's Cat, your dreaming, wake up." Her heart went out to him, he was in so much pain, his incredible green eyes were so full of worry.

"Cat? How is she?" He looked up at her, seeing relief? In her eyes.

"The doctor says her vitals are stronger and a little more stable." She smiled at Ezra, glad she could give him some good news.

"That's wonderful, does this mean she will live?"

"He says it's still too soon to be sure, but the odds are now in her favor." She sat next to the still sleepy undercover agent and put her arms around him, giving him a reassuring hug.

"Thank you Cat." He hugged her in return, feeling hope in his heart and soul, for the first time since he found Enid.

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Elaine, Shell, Maria, and Nathan had spent about 12 hours gathering evidence and putting together a profile of the killer, they knew who he was, but until now, they didn't know what he was, or what made him tick. Now they knew, he was clinically insane, having been found not guilty by reason of insanity 2 years ago, for the murder of his wife, who had cheated on him. He had been committed to a mental institution, but had escaped 6 months ago, which was when the murders began. His wife had been 5'2" and a 1/2, with long blond hair, and blue eyes. He had been punishing his wife for her betrayal over and over again, Enid being his latest victim, the problem was they had no idea where to start looking for him. "Lets get this information to Chris and Rebecca, I want to check on Enid anyway." Elaine wanted to know how her friend was doing.

"Sounds good, lets go." Maria said, she was proud of the profile she had worked up on this man, if you wanted to call him that. They climbed into their vehicles and headed to the hospital, all of them eager to know how Enid was doing.
Another twenty-four hours passed, Enid grew slowly stronger, her heart hadn't stopped again, so they were going to start letting people visit her, one at a time and only for a few minutes. Ezra would be the first, of course, then Rebecca wanted to see her, as her leader and friend. All the spices would go after that, then if any of Team 7 wanted to see her, they could. Ezra stepped into the room, the fear of what happened last time, rising up and making him nervous, he would never do anything to hurt her. "Enid, Darlin? Can you hear me honey?" No response, but he didn't expect one, she still had the respirator in her mouth and knew she would not regain consciousness for a while yet.
Ezra grabbed a chair and pulled it next to the bed, he glanced at the monitors around her and could see that she did look stronger. He reached out and took her hand, caressing it gently. He watched her face, looking for any signs that she felt or heard him, but there was nothing. He could see that the color was returning to her face and she looked so beautiful, he wanted to hold and kiss her, he had missed her so badly over the last few days. His eyes moved to the bandages that covered her body, she was basically covered completely with bandages, his gaze then drifted to the bandage on the arm in front of him. The tears began to roll down his cheeks, he couldn't believe this had happened to his sweet, loving Honey Spice. She was the sweetest, most loving woman he had ever met, she brought his feelings out, instead of keeping them hidden inside, he had told her many things that he never told anyone, because he knew she wouldn't judge him and would only love him. "Please Darlin, come back to me, I need you."
He stood up and leaned over, kissing her gently on the cheek, wanting to kiss her mouth, but could not, he hoped the respirator came out soon, so he could kiss her like he wanted to. He brushed at the hair that had fallen onto her forehead, then kissed her there too, he didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay with her, but he understood that others needed to see her too. "I love you Darlin." Then he turned and left.

*********************************************************************


During those twenty-four hours, most of Team 7 had begun the search for Nichols, they knew that most of the Spice gang would need to be at the hospital, they all loved Enid, so did the members of Team 7, but it was different, so they left and began to search for him, starting with an APB on him. They knew when they caught him, they better keep Ezra away from him, he was usually cool and calm, but they knew he wouldn't be in this situation, not after what he'd done to Enid.
Chris had sent Nathan and JD up to the Mental institution where Nichols had escaped from, they wanted to know everything they could about the man, especially where he might go, or any of his hang outs. They came back with some good information and those would be the first places they looked, Chris knew they would have to be careful, but they would do what it would take to catch this bastard.
While Ezra was in with Enid, they raided the first of Nichols usual hangouts, but he wasn't there. They did manage to catch a few other criminals they were looking for, but not Nichols. They would take a break and go to the hospital, to check on Ezra, besides, Vin wanted to check on Rebecca, Buck wanted to check on Cat, and JD wanted to check on Jessie. Chris was really missing Karen, while she was out of the country on assignment, this whole thing with Enid, made him realize how important she was to him, all the men realized how important their ladies were to them.
Rebecca was the next to go in and see Enid, she really hadn't seen her at all since she was stabbed, except the brief glimpse as they wheeled her through the ER to surgery, so she didn't quite know what to expect. As soon as she got a look at Enid, the tears filled her eyes, she couldn't believe this had happened, Enid was pale and motionless, the tubes in her body seemed to rival that of an old TV. The respirator in her mouth, helping her breath, scared her the most, it looked so uncomfortable and foreign. She carefully took Enid's hand as her eyes traveled to all the bandages on her body, she was covered with them. "Enid, sweetie, it Rebecca, can you hear me? We are all here for you, so you have to come back to us."
There was no response, except the beeping and other noises of the monitors around her, it broke Rebecca's heart to see her like this, none of her agents had ever been hurt like this, Jessie's beating a few month's back, had been the worst, up until now. "I have to go Enid, but we are all here, all we want is to have you back with us." She squeezed Enid's hand, the tears falling unhindered from her eyes as she turned and left the room. She looked up to see the members of Team 7, they had arrived while she was in Enid's room, she moved straight into Vin's arms. "Oh Vin, that's the first time I've seen her, I can't believe she survived that." She was sobbing now, unable to control her feelings.

"It's all right Darlin, she's alive and it looks like she will make it, just try to be strong." Vin held Rebecca tight and let her cry. He watched as Cat got ready to go in, she hadn't seen Enid yet either and he knew she would probably come out in the same condition that Rebecca had.
Cat took a deep breath before entering the room, Enid obviously looked pretty bad, for their stoic lead to fall apart from seeing her. Cat moved next to the bed and was shocked at the appearance of her long time friend, she was so pale and lifeless, she had never seen Enid like that before, she was always so alive and happy. As she took in all the bandages that covered her, the tears began to fall, it had taken a matter of moments, and one sick man, to change Enid's life forever, she only hoped that Enid could cope emotionally, with what happened, it would be difficult. "Hey there friend, you've had us all worried for a while now, we need you to wake up, so we know your all right." She stroked Enid's hair, wanting her to open those blue eyes of hers, but it just wasn't to be yet. "We are here for you, just try to get well sweetie."
Buck watched Cat come out of Enid's room, the tears were on her face too and he took her in his arms, holding her tight. "It'll be all right Cat, she's gonna make it, she's a fighter."

"I know Buck, the doctor says the odds are in her favor, but I am still worried." She held Buck tight, finding comfort in his strong arms, she knew Jessie was going in next and she didn't think the young woman would be able to handle seeing Enid like that, the two had become very close, she, Enid, Ezra, and JD had spent a lot of time together lately. She turned and looked at Jessie, trying to give her a reassuring smile, but failing.
Jessie was almost afraid to go in, she didn't want to see Enid like she was now, she preferred to see her full of life, like she usually was. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths, then went in. Her tears began the minute her eyes landed on Enid in the bed, all the monitors and tubes, the bandages covering her body, her slack, pale complexion, it was all too much, but she moved closer, wanting to speak to Enid, let her know that she was there for her. "Enid, please be all right, your my best friend now, I can bare the thought of losing you." She couldn't take any more, she ran out of the room and straight into JD's arms, sobbing heavily.

"Shhhh, Jessie, it'll be all right, Enid's strong, she survived this long, she's not going to give up now, if you ask me, it's a miracle she survived the stabbing in the first place, she has no intention of leaving us." JD stroked Jessie's hair, letting her cry on his shoulder, he wanted nothing more than to take her pain away. He stood there holding Jessie and watching as all the other Spices went in to see her, Renee, Maria, Elaine, Shell, Stacie, and Holo. They all came out with tears in their eyes, he was curious about how Enid looked, it must be bad, for them all to be crying. He pulled Jessie from his arms, wanting to go in and see her too, they had all become close friends, Enid, Jessie, Ezra and himself, so he was just as concerned. He moved into the room, approaching the bed, Enid did look very bad, the extent of bandages on her body, was the only clue to how badly she'd been stabbed, none of the wounds themselves were visible, but they didn't need to be, he could see some areas on her torso, where some blood was seeping through the bandages, she was far from being healed, or even beginning to be. It had been three and a half days since she was stabbed, she was apparently stronger, her vitals more stable, but she was a long way from being better, she had a long, painful road ahead of her and they would all be there for her. JD had a few tears in his eyes when he came back out of the room too, he took Jessie back into his arms and held her.
While all the Spices and Team 7 members, visited Enid, Ezra sat in a chair with his head leaning back against the wall, his eyes closed. He was reliving some of the moments that he and Enid had shared, especially their first kiss. They had both been nervous, it was their first date and they had only known each other a few days, when they made that date, it was nothing fancy, neither of them knowing what to expect, only knowing that the attraction between them was strong. They had gone to dinner at a nice restaurant, then to the bar, for some drinks and dancing. It was on the dance floor, after dancing through about 4 slow songs, holding each other tight, neither able to take their eyes off the other, their eyes were locked on each others, gazing deeply into their souls, when the kiss occurred.
The whole time they had been dancing, his arms had been around her waist, caressing her back, hers had been around his shoulders, her head resting on his shoulder, but when the current song started, which was "You'll Be In My Heart," Enid had lifted her head from his shoulder and looked deeply into his emerald orbs, seeing all the way in to his soul. He had done the same, seeing her soul deep inside her deep blue eyes. It was then that they tentatively moved towards each other, stopping a moment to look in each others eyes again, then brought their lips together for a small, tender kiss. They pulled away again, their eyes locked, then moved together again, this time their mouths melded together, like they were made to be together and the kiss grew deep as Ezra pulled her tighter against him, loving the feel of her in his arms. The kiss grew deeper still, their tongues dancing together, their love filling each other through the kiss, it was at that moment that Ezra knew he loved her with all his heart, he would do anything for this amazing woman in his arms. They continued to kiss through the whole song, then the bar erupted in applause, both of them had been embarrassed, but they just quickly left, Ezra taking Enid home, it was another week before they actually made love for the first time.
The first time they made love had been beautiful too, he just knew they were meant to be together after that, there was no doubt in his mind. He continued to relive the memories, most of them quite wonderful, some not so great, they did have their arguments, but making up made it worth every moment. He suddenly heard someone call his name and he pulled himself from his reverie, it was Chris. "Yes, Mr. Larabee?"

"Ezra, I can see how tired you are, let me take you to my place and you can crash for a while, then I'll bring you back when I get off work." He was worried about Ezra, he seemed very tired and somewhat out of it.

"Thank you Mr. Larabee, I think I will take you up on that." He stood, suddenly feeling the exhaustion he was experiencing, he couldn't see Enid again for a while anyway and knowing she was doing better, hopefully would allow him to get some more sleep. As soon as they were at Chris's, he went into the guest bedroom and took his jacket and shoes off, then laid down and was asleep almost immediately.
Chris looked in on Ezra before he left, not surprised to see he was already asleep. He left the house, heading for the office, they were about to raid another of Nichols hang outs, he just hoped they had better luck this time, they needed to catch this bastard and make him pay for what he done to Enid, she was such a sweet young lady and an amazing agent, she didn't deserve what he did to her.

**********************************************************************

After everyone finished visiting Enid, the guys left to meet Chris at the office, in order to prepare for the next raid, the ladies all went home, some of them had not slept since this whole thing happened, Renee was the only one that stayed, she had gotten some sleep and wanted to be sure that someone was still there, in case anything happened, which they prayed it didn't.

"Will you be all right here alone Renee?" Rebecca asked, she was exhausted, but was almost afraid to leave, for fear something would happen while she was gone.

"Yes, Rebecca, now go home and get some sleep, before you fall down." She smiled, Rebecca was a great leader, tough and determined when she needed to be, but she loved every member of her unit like they were family, and they were in a way.

"All right Renee, you will call if anything happens?"

"Yes, of course." She stood and began to guide Rebecca towards the door, urging her to get going.

"Ok, Ok, Renee, I get the hint, I am going." She didn't want to go to her empty apartment, knowing Vin was working, but she was just too tired to worry about it. "Good night Renee"

"Goodnight Rebecca." It would be a long night, but a quite, peaceful night. Enid would not have any problems, the morning would bring some good things, but also some not so good things.
During that night, Team 7 made their raid, minus Ezra. This time they hit the jackpot, catching Nichols and several other wanted men, all at once. By the time Nichols got to the lockup, he had several cuts and bruises, but Team 7 said he had resisted arrest and no one questioned it. They knew that Nichols would get the death penalty for the previous murders and the attempted murder of a Federal Agent, but they wanted to see him suffer first, not at the risk of their careers though. Once Nichols was processed and the paperwork done, they all went home to get some sleep, Chris had promised to bring Ezra back to the hospital in the morning, he intended to keep that promise.
Ezra had finally slept soundly, getting the sleep he desperately needed, he had dreams that night, but they were much more pleasant. When he woke up in the morning, Chris was still asleep, so he went to the kitchen to start some coffee, it was then that the phone rang, he answered it quickly, not wanting it to wake Chris. "Hello?"

"Agent Larabee?"

"No, this is Agent Standish, Agent Larabee is sleeping."

"This is Agent Stevens, down at lockup, Agent Larabee forgot to sign one of the papers on Nichols last night."

"What? Nichols has been caught?"

"Yes sir, last night, he's in lockup."

"Thank you Agent Stevens, I will come right down and take care of it." He hung up the phone and grabbed the keys to Chris's truck, on the counter and left. He drove quickly to the lockup, only one thing on his mind, revenge. He was going to make the bastard pay for what he did to his Honey Spice, nothing mattered but that. He got there and signed the paper that Agent Stevens needed to have signed, then asked for the key, so he could check on Nichols, putting on his best poker face. He could barely contain his rage as he opened the door and laid eyes on the man, he was rather large, Enid hadn't stood a chance against him.
Nichols looked up as the door opened, he didn't recognize the man at the door, but the look in his emerald eyes, he was familiar with, it was unbridled rage and hatred. "Who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare, your going to pay for almost killing the woman I love." He moved forward, then began to use his Tae Kwon Do moves on the man, it didn't take long until he was somewhat bloodied. Luckily Vin and Josiah had shown up then, trying to pull Ezra off of him. "Let me be, he deserves this and more."
Vin didn't know what to do, Ezra's strength was too great for them to handle him, especially with the rage running through him right now, so he did the only thing he could think, hit him over the head. It didn't knock him out, but it stunned him enough for Josiah and Vin to get him out of the cell. Vin turned to Nichols, "Say a word about this to anyone and you'll be sorry, your wounds are from when you resisted arrest." Then he turned and left.
Josiah helped Ezra sit down, then knelt beside him, Vin joining him once the door was closed and locked. Josiah's big hand brushed Ezra's hair back from his forehead, he understood why Ezra did what he did, but it could have cost him everything, "Ezra, you shouldn't have done that brother, he's not worth losing your career over."

"Josiah is right Ezra, think about how Enid would feel, if she knew you ruined your career, because of him, her life would be completely ruined by him then." Vin added, putting his hand on Ezra's, seeing the tears in his eyes.

"Her life has been changed enough by him brother, don't let him change it even more, or change yours even more." He stroked Ezra's hair as the tears fell, knowing that Ezra was finally releasing some of the emotions he had been holding in.

"Josiah, Vin, I.....I couldn't help it, I wanted him to feel what Enid felt, and more, what she still feels, he deserves to die slowly and painfully, just as Enid almost did." He couldn't control his tears, they flowed freely and he didn't care.

"Vin, lets get Ezra back to Chris's, we can get him calmed down, then we can all go to the hospital and check on Enid."

"Sounds good Josiah." They helped Ezra up, then got him into Chris's truck, Vin got in behind the wheel and Josiah followed behind. They got to Chris's and explained what happened, then got Ezra calmed down and went to the hospital.

**********************************************************************

Renee had been waiting for the first people to arrive, but she wasn't sure if she was glad that it was Ezra, Chris, Vin, and Josiah, or not. She had some good news, but also some bad news, "Hello guys."

"Miss Renee, how is Enid?" Josiah asked, he could see some concern in her eyes.

"Well, I do have some good news...."

"But...." Ezra said, knowing something was wrong.

"The good news is, they took her off the respirator, she hasn't regained consciousness yet, but the bad news is, the doctor says she's developed an infection, so she's got a fever." Renee sat back down, she had been so happy to hear about the respirator, but when the doctor came back later, after running some tests and told her about the infection, she had become very worried.

"An infection? How bad and where?" Ezra didn't know how much more he could take, just when he thought things were getting better, something else happened.

"It's pretty bad, they have put her on strong antibiotics, several of her wounds have infection in them, they are doing everything possible and don't think it's a major setback."

"I want to see her." Ezra needed to see her.

"Sit down Ezra and I'll find her doctor, see if he'll let you see her." Ezra sat down next to Renee and felt her arm come around him, he hugged her in return, needing the comfort.

The doctor agreed to let Ezra see Enid for a few minutes, earlier that morning, they had removed the respirator, washed her hair, and given her a sponge bath. They hoped the sponge bath would accomplish two things, make her feel refreshed and clean, and try to bring down her fever, which right now was rather high, but all they could do was wait for the antibiotics to work. The doctor had checked her condition one last time before letting Ezra go in. "Please don't be too long Mr. Standish, she is stronger, but even small things can have a major effect on her right now."

"Don't worry doctor, I would never do anything to hurt her or cause a setback." He nodded, then walked in, he felt better just seeing the respirator gone, but the flushed skin on her face and the sheen of sweat, from her fever, had him worried. He moved beside the bed and took her hand, holding it firmly, but gently, looking at her face and wishing she would open those beautiful blue eyes of hers, he had missed looking into them so much. His other hand moved to her hair, stroking it, he had always loved how amazingly soft it was, it shone like spun gold after being washed, he had done the washing many times, enjoying working the lather through the long curls. "Enid Darlin, won't you please come back to me? I miss you terribly, I love you so much." He bent and kissed her lips, so very happy to finally be able to taste her sweet lips, which actually tasted a bit like medicine now, but he didn't care.
He let the kiss linger a moment, but not too long, knowing she still had some difficulty breathing. He wrapped his fingers in the curls of her hair, reveling in the softness of it, he wanted to hold her in his arms and love her, he was going to do whatever he had to, to make all this up to her, she was going to have such a painful road ahead of her and he wanted to help her through it. He caressed her face, feeling the heat of her fever, he was so afraid that her infection was going to have disastrous results, but he hoped not.
Enid was slowly beginning to become aware, she felt Ezra's presence in the room, could almost feel his touch on her, but it wasn't quite there yet, she knew as soon as she could feel Ezra's touch, she would also feel the unbearable pain in her body, which would mean she would have to cope with what happened to her, she was not ready for that, no matter how badly she wanted to feel Ezra's touch. She struggled to hear Ezra's words, but those too were still muffled, she knew what he was saying though, she could feel it in her soul, it was like nothing she had ever experienced, the way their souls seemed to be linked. She wanted nothing more than to open her eyes and be held in his strong, warm, gentle arms, kissing her deeply as the love flowed from him into her, it was what she lived for, it was why she had fought so hard to stay alive, because of Ezra and the love he gave her, it was like nothing she had ever felt in her life and she would not let go of it.

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It was several more days before Enid finally began to regain consciousness, it had now been just over a week since she had been stabbed, everyone had taken turns visiting her every day, hoping that she would wake up and be all right. Enid really didn't want to wake, her mind had begun to relive the night of the stabbing and to wake meant having to deal with it, she didn't think she could. She also began to feel the pain, it was bad, despite being on pain medication. The first thing she did, before she even opened her eyes, was begin to cry, the combination of the pain and the trauma of reliving what had happened to her, was too much. She felt gentle fingers brush the tears away and tried so hard to open her eyes, but it wasn't easy.

"Darlin, are you in pain?" Ezra brushed her tears away, sorry that she was in pain, but glad that there was some sort of response from her, it meant she was coming around. "Come on Darlin, open those beautiful blue eyes of yours." He continued to caress her cheek, he hated to see her in tears, for any reason.

"Ez......ra." She could barely talk and was very weak, but she managed to say his name, she needed him so much right now, she just wanted him to take her pain away, both physical and emotional.

"Yes Darlin, don't try to talk, just take it easy sweetheart." He kissed her lips, so happy that she was finally coming to. "I'm going to get the doctor Enid, he wanted to know when you began to come around, just take it easy." He stood and started to move away, but she wouldn't let go of his hand, so he moved back to her. "Darlin, please, I will be right back, I know how hard everything is for you, and how much pain you must be in, try not to struggle." He tried again to move away, this time she let go, he was almost sorry that she did.

"Ez.....ra" She whispered again, but he was already out of the room, she began crying again, but still couldn't open her eyes.

Enid managed to finally open her eyes, very slowly. She brought her hand up to wipe the tears away, but she saw the bandage on her arm and it just made her start crying again. She hated not having better control of her emotions, sure she wasn't as good as Ezra at hiding them, but she could usually control them better. She knew it was because of what she had been through, but she managed to keep pushing the memories of that night away, not wanting to remember the horror and pain she felt. It was getting harder, the memories were beginning to invade her thoughts constantly. She looked around and saw no one, she knew Ezra had just been there, at least she thought he had, but maybe it had been a dream. She had closed her eyes again, feeling the fever in her body, not to mention the pain, they could only give her so much pain medication, but that still wasn't enough to ease the pain she felt, her body had been severely attacked and it was suffering tremendous pain. She opened her eyes again as the doctor came in, with Ezra behind him.

"Ms. Smith, Enid how are you feeling? Can you talk?" He put his hand on her forehead, feeling the fever that was still there.

"So......much........pain." She couldn't stop the tears and was embarrassed by them, not wanting a stranger to see her so vulnerable.

"I know and I am sorry, we are giving you as much medication as we can, but your body has suffered tremendous damage, you are going to have a lot of pain, for quite some time, but I do think you will make a full recovery, if we can just get rid of your infections." He took her wrist and checked her pulse, it was strong, but a bit rapid, she was getting too excited. "You need to relax and stay calm, your pulse is too rapid."

"I'm....sorry....I am........scared." A crease appeared on her forehead, she was scared and worried, almost thinking she would have been better off if she had died, then the pain and fear would be gone. Then she looked at Ezra and remembered why she had fought so hard to stay alive, she needed him, wanted him. "Ezra?"

"Yes Darlin, I am here, just relax my Honey Spice" He took her hand, then began to stroke her hair, soothing her and calming her down, he hated to see her like this, it was tearing at his heart.

"I want.....you to........hold me...........so bad." She was crying harder, the pain she felt was a combination of a pounding ache, to a stabbing pain, she wanted to go back to the sea of blackness she had been in, there was no pain there.

"I know Darlin, I want to hold you, but I can't until your wounds are healed, I wouldn't want to do anything to cause you harm." His hand moved to her cheek, wiping the tears away and caressing it softly with his fingers, watching her eyes begin to drift closed again.

"Ezra......I need you.........to kiss me.........please?" His kiss always made her feel safe and she could forget about any pain or distress she had been experiencing, she always got lost in his warm, tender kiss.

"Anything for you, my Darlin Honey Spice." He bent and kissed her, tenderly at first, then deeper, having missed the taste of her lips and the warmth her mouth held. He heard her sigh, not sure if she was in pain, or enjoying the kiss. After a moment, he realized she was out again, so he pulled away, giving her one last little kiss.

"Mr. Standish, there is something I need to talk to you about, now that Enid is out again, I think we should discuss it." The doctor moved to a chair and motioned Ezra to take the other chair.

"What is it doctor?" Ezra was worried, the doctor seemed concerned about something.

"I'm not sure how to ask this, other than to just ask it" The doctor took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts, noticing that Mr. Standish seemed anxious. "We did tests when we brought her in and they were negative, but I need to be sure, was Enid.........raped when she was attacked?"


"What? No, I.....I don't think so, we didn't lose her for that long, he wouldn't have had time and she was fully clothed when we found her, why do you ask?" Ezra was very puzzled now, why was the doctor asking such a question?

"Well, the last blood test results we did, indicated that Enid is pregnant, between 1 and 2 weeks pregnant, so I was worried that it had happened when she was attacked."
Ezra was in shock, Enid was carrying his baby, this was wonderful news, it must have showed in his eyes, because the next words from the doctor, froze his heart.

"Mr. Standish, I take it that the baby is yours?"

"Yes, we made love often, the night before this happened as a matter of fact." He could see the concern in the doctors eyes.

"Well, I hate to say this, but with what her body has been through, I doubt she will be able to carry the baby, the odds are that she will have a miscarriage, I am sorry."

"Never quote me the odds doctor, if there is any chance at all that she will have the baby, then I choose to go with those odds, no matter how slim."

"I appreciate your positive attitude, but the odds are about 99 percent, that she will lose it."
Ezra couldn't prevent the tears that fell from his cheeks, he couldn't believe he had been given a ray of hope, of good news, only to be told that she would lose it, he wanted to have a child with her, several actually. "Will she be able to have more? Please be honest."

"There's no reason she shouldn't, it might be more difficult, but I think she can." He stood and put his hand on Standish's shoulder, trying to give his some comfort, but knowing that it was somewhat hollow.

"Thank you doctor." He watched the doctor leave, then moved back to Enid's side and took her hand, how was he ever going to tell her about this, it would break her already fragile heart.

Ezra gently laid Enid's hand back down on the bed, brushing her hair off her forehead and kissing it, then turned to leave the room. He needed time to think and eat, he had to figure out how to tell Enid about their baby, and that she would most likely lose it. He ran into Cat as he was coming out the door, she had been waiting for him, so she could go in and see her old friend. "Cat, how are you?"

"Fine, how is she?" She looked concerned, she was happy that Enid was awake, but having heard that she was in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally, broke her heart.

"She's asleep, but go in anyway, she needs to know her friends are here." He gave a small smile, then moved away, headed for the cafeteria.
Cat could see that something was weighing heavily on Ezra, but she wouldn't push him, probably just seeing Enid in all that pain, had him upset. She opened the door and stepped in, moving quietly to the bed, "Enid, you awake?"

"Cat?" She was happy to see her friend, she needed it right now, she had remembered something about that night, it had her upset and seeing Ezra didn't help right now.

"Yes, how are you feeling sweetie?" She could see that Enid was in pain, it hurt to see her like that.

"I hurt Cat, like I have never hurt before, I am so glad that I have you and the others here." She took Cat's hand and held it tight, needing the contact.

"I am so sorry Enid, you are very lucky to have Ezra, he's been by your side all the way." She was puzzled by Enid's reaction to Ezra's name, "What is it? What's wrong sweetie? you can tell me." Enid just continued to look away from her, closing her eyes and letting go of her hand. Cat new something was wrong, but Enid apparently didn't feel like talking about it. "I'll go and let you rest now, I'll check back later." She saw Ezra outside the room when she left, he still looked worried about something.

"How is she Cat?"

"Something's wrong Ezra, she wouldn't talk to me, but I think it has to do with you, I hope you can get her to talk to you." She gave him a hug and then left, she had things to do at work.
Ezra went back into the room, very worried by what Cat had said, she seemed all right when he left. He sat on the edge of the bed, next to Enid, taking her hand, but she pulled it away from him and wouldn't look at him. "Darlin, what's wrong? Please talk to me, your frightening me." When she finally turned and looked at him, the tears were streaming down her face, he was very worried now.

"Why? Ezra, Why?" She fought to speak through the sobs, "Why didn't you come and stop him, where were you?" She couldn't understand why he hadn't been there, the last thought she had before losing consciousness that night, was 'where is Ezra?' "I kept waiting for you and Chris to come stop him, praying you would come and stop him, but you didn't, WHY?" She began sobbing harder, but it gave her a lot of pain.

"Oh Darlin, I am so sorry, the miscreant managed to lose us, he ran a light and we had to stop, because we were behind another vehicle, we ascertained you whereabouts as promptly as we could, but it was too late, if only you knew how I felt when I found you laying there, I thought I would die, I am so sorry baby." He wanted desperately to hold her in his arms, to take her pain away, but he couldn't.

"Ezra, I am sorry, I should have known you would have been there, if you could have, I just didn't know, I want you to hold me Ezra, please?" She knew he couldn't, it would cause her too much pain, but she wanted it more than anything.

"I'm sorry, I want to hold you too, but it would hurt you, I won't do that to you." He let go of her hand and brought both of his hands to her face, brushing her tears away with his thumbs.

"Then kiss me, please? I need to feel you, if I can't feel your arms around me, then I want to feel your lips against mine." She was slowly regaining control of her emotions, she had been so hurt by the thought that Ezra hadn't been there when she needed him, but now that was over and she just wanted him.
Ezra leaned forward, his hands never leaving her soft face, being careful not to lean in the wrong place. He kissed her with a feather lite touch at first, his lips grazing over hers, he could feel her relaxing and continued, slowly kissing her deeper, tasting her sweetness and loving the feel of her lips entwined with his. He loved kissing her and had missed being able to do so, for so long. He felt her hands come up to his hair, working her fingers through the softness, he had missed her touch too. The kiss lasted for some time, their tongues becoming entwined and Enid forgot all her pain, nothing existed but Ezra and the love she felt in his kiss, his very touch filled her with love. Finally the kiss ended, both of them a bit breathless, she was so relaxed and at ease right now, if only it could last. "I love you so much Ezra, I don't know what I would do without you." She caressed his cheek, gazing deeply into his emerald eyes, she loved to look in his eyes, they showed her everything and she now knew something was wrong, but she didn't care right now.

"I love you too Darlin, now I think you should get some rest, it's been a hard day and I don't want you getting sick." He kissed her gently, not wanting to stop, but forcing himself to do so anyway. By the time he pulled away, she was asleep again, he caressed her cheek gently, his heart was so full of love for her, he thought it would burst. He then left the room, finding a comfortable place to catch a little sleep. Now was not the time to tell her about the baby, she had been through enough today.

Ezra was in one of the other hospital rooms getting some sleep, Jessie and JD were currently sitting with Enid, who was asleep, but Jessie could tell she was dreaming. Right now she and JD were sitting together, talking quietly, not wanting to wake Enid, but then suddenly Enid screamed and sat bolt upright in the bed, it scared Jessie and JD nearly to death. Jessie quickly moved to Enid, grabbing her shoulders firmly, but gently, she could tell the act of sitting up like that so quickly had caused her a lot of pain. "JD, go get Ezra, hurry."

"Ok, Jessie, is she all right?" JD was worried, her scream had sent a chill down his spine, he hated the thought of Enid having to constantly relive that night in her dreams.

"Yes, she will be, now go." She watched JD leave the room quickly. "Enid, it's Jessie, your all right, your safe." She wanted to put her arms around Enid, so she would feel safe, but knew she couldn't.

"Jessie? Where's Ezra?" She looked at Jessie, she could see the concern on her face and was sorry that she was putting everyone through this.

"JD went to get him, just take it easy, do you want to lay back down?" She watched Enid shake her head, she was probably afraid she would go back to sleep and she didn't want to. "It's ok Enid, it was just a nightmare."

"No Jessie, it wasn't, it was as real as it comes, I was reliving that night, it was a nightmare yes, but it was real." She put her hands to her face, not wanting to cry again, but it was hard to fight it, she just wanted Ezra right now. As if on queue, Ezra came rushing into the room with JD on his heels, "Ezra."

"Come on JD, lets leave them alone." Jessie grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door.

"But I wanted to know if she was all right." JD looked at Jessie, he knew that Ezra and Enid needed to be alone, but he was worried about her.

"She will be all right JD, Ezra will take care of her." She sat down in the waiting area and pulled JD down beside her, "Just hold me, it hurts so bad to see her going through this."

"I know Jessie." He took her in his arms and gave her a gentle kiss, then they just sat and waited, arm in arm, Jessie's head on JD's shoulder.

Back in Enid's room, Ezra moved quickly to the bed and sat on the edge, putting his hands to her face. "Enid, Darlin I am sorry you had a nightmare, you were reliving that night, weren't you?" He watched her nod, he could see she was in pain.

"Yes, I don't want this anymore Ezra, I can't take the constant memories of that night, the pain in my body, I just can't take it anymore Ezra." She couldn't prevent the tears, she thought she was stronger than this, she felt like a complete wimp. "I'm a coward Ezra, I can't do this."

"Darlin, your anything but a coward, you took that bastard on and shot him, even after you had been stabbed, your the bravest woman I know, please don't talk like this." God he wanted to hold her, take her pain away, he had an idea though, perhaps if he couldn't hold her, it would be the next best thing. "Darlin, are you comfortable sitting up like this?"

"It's not as comfortable as laying down, but I am afraid to move." She was in a lot of pain actually, but she didn't want to move, for fear it would hurt even more.

"Can I try something? To see if it comforts you and eases your pain?" He hoped this would work, she needed some sort of comforting.

"Yes Ezra, I trust you with my life." She looked up into his eyes, seeing the sorrow that was deep inside them.

"I'm going to put my arms around you, only enough to rub your back, all right?" He watched her nod, so he leaned close to her, bringing his arms gently around her, then began to rub her back, using a gentle circular motion. He felt her forehead on his shoulder, it was still fairly hot with fever. Then he heard her crying softly, "Am I hurting you Darlin?"

"No, it feels so wonderful." She was crying in frustration and the fact that she wanted Ezra to hold her tight so badly, but it wasn't possible with the wounds on her body. She turned her head to the side and began kissing Ezra's neck, she needed the contact with him.

"I'm glad this is helping Darlin." He closed his eyes as he felt Enid's lips on his neck, he had missed her intimate touch, he wanted to make love to her so very much. He moved his head so that he could kiss her, taking her lips gently and letting the kiss grow deeper, slowly. They remained like that for some time, his hands caressing her back, until she was asleep again, then he gently laid her back on the bed, caressing her cheek, then moved to the chair, he would not leave her side again that night.

Enid slept a dreamless sleep for the rest of the night, feeling Ezra's presence in the room and his actions with her earlier, soothed her soul. When she woke in the morning, she did feel better emotionally, but her legs were tingling and numb, like they were asleep and that's what she thought, that they were asleep. "Ezra?"

"Yes Darlin, I am here." He stood from the chair and stretched, blinking the sleep from his eyes and moving to her side. "What is it Darlin?"

"My legs are asleep, can you rub them to wake them up?" She saw his brow crease with concern. "What?"

"I'm sorry Darlin, they are not asleep, you suffered a nick in your spinal cord, until it heals, your legs are going to feel that way, but you won't be paralyzed." He hated telling her something else bad, but she needed to know, he also felt that now was the time to tell her about the baby.

"So this feeling isn't going to go away anytime soon?" She was scared, she hadn't even thought about a spinal cord injury, in fact she didn't even know for sure what had been damaged. "Ezra, please tell me what they had to do to me."

"Darlin, are you sure your ready for this?" He didn't want her to get emotionally upset, but she deserved to know.

"Yes, please tell me everything Ezra, I need to know." She watched the play of emotions in his eyes, knowing that it wasn't good.

"All right, but if it gets to be too much, you just say so." He watched her nod, he could see the need in her eyes for the information, so he continued. "Some of the wounds didn't cause much damage, just tissue and muscle, you did suffer a punctured lung, they had to remove part of your intestines." He stopped then, feeling her hand grasp his tighter, but he could see she wanted him to continue. "They also had to remove an ovary, just one, the other is still there." He saw the tears in her eyes and wanted to take her in his arms again.

"My ovary? Will I be able to have children? Please tell me I can, I want to give you children Ezra." She was trying not to cry, but she didn't know what she would do if she couldn't have his babies.

"The doctor says you should still be able to have children, it might not be as easy, but you should, which brings me to the next thing, which is going to be hard for you to take." He held her hand tightly, he was so afraid to tell her about the baby she was already carrying and that she would most likely lose it.

"What Ezra? Your scaring me." She wanted to feel his soft hands caressing her back again right now.

"I'm sorry Darlin, I don't mean to scare you, but......God this is hard, Darlin, you are already pregnant, about 2 weeks now, but........."

"But what Ezra? this is wonderful, I am going to have your baby." She felt her heart swell with love, but when she looked in his eyes, it disappeared quickly, "Ezra, what?"

"I'm sorry Darlin, but the doctor doesn't think you will be able to carry the baby, not after what your body has been through.........He says the odds are 99 percent that you will lose it." He never wanted to hold her more than he did right now, this had been tearing him apart ever since the doctor had told him, he was relieved to finally tell her, but it broke his heart to see the sorrow in her eyes.

"No, Ezra please tell me that isn't true, I want to have your baby, our baby, please Ezra." She couldn't prevent the tears that fell, the thought of having his baby growing inside her made her feel so full of joy, but the knowledge that she would most likely lose it, made her feel hollow and empty inside. Well, she would fight to keep it, she wouldn't lose it without the fight of her life. She sat up, hoping Ezra would provide her the comfort he had last night, she was not disappointed.
Ezra knew when Enid sat up, what she wanted, he was happy to oblige, he wanted to do more than this, but the simple act gave her comfort, so he would take joy in providing it to her. "Darlin, I know the odds are bad, but we can beat them, together." He caressed her back, letting her cry into his shoulder, his mind going back to the last time they had made love, wanting to do that again now.

"Ezra, even we can't change fate, if God wants to take this baby from us, we can't stop it, I don't think we are ready for this yet anyway, we've only known each other a few months, I know it seems like forever, our souls were meant to be together, I have no doubt about that, and with the intense love we have, we will have another baby, if this one doesn't survive, but I am going to fight with every ounce of strength this battered body has, to keep it." She felt Ezra's hands caressing her back, it was more soothing than she thought even he knew.

"Darlin, I will be here for you every step of the way, I love you so much, and if I have to choose between you and the baby, I would choose you in a heartbeat, your my life now, I never thought I would love anyone the way I love you." He began to kiss her, tasting her sweetness and the salt of her tears, he never wanted her out of his life, ever.

Several weeks passed and Enid slowly grew stronger, her nightmares diminished to a few a week, her emotions were still fragile and it didn't take much to make her cry. All her coworkers and friends came by to visit her as often as possible, all happy to see her recovering. Her doctor wanted her to begin rehab soon, to strengthen her muscles, especially the ones that had been damaged, but Enid was afraid, she was afraid that if she did that, she would lose her baby, which hadn't happened yet, and she was encouraged by that, even thought the doctor had said the odds were still the same.

"Enid, I know your feeling encouraged by the fact that you haven't lost the baby, but once it grows more and starts demanding more from your body, it will happen, I hate to be so blunt, but I have no choice, you need to know the truth."

"If I start the rehab, won't that cause me to lose it?"

"Your going to lose it no matter what, you need to start getting your muscles strengthened again." He could see the pain and sorrow in her eyes, he hated doing that to her, but there was no choice, he had been monitoring her progress as well as that of her baby, it was only a matter of time. "I want you to start tomorrow."

"Yes doctor, if that's what you want." She couldn't believe the doctor was being so negative, how could he know for sure that she would lose her baby? Only God knew that, in her opinion. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep, she wanted out of the damn hospital, she hated it there now, her wounds were mostly healed, there was still pain from the damage done to her muscles and the scar tissue inside her, but the doctor had done a good job with the incisions, her scars were faint.

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Ezra was worried, he knew Enid was so much better than she had been just a few weeks ago, but her emotions were still fragile and the doctor had told him that he had no doubt that Enid would lose the baby, it was just a matter of time. He knew he would have to be strong for her, when it happened, but he was going to be feeling his own grief, it was his baby too after all. He remembered when he put his hand on her abdomen, knowing what was growing inside her, and that it would soon be gone. He was at his apartment right now, but would be heading for the hospital shortly, to be with her. He had hardly left her side since this all happened, knowing how much she needed him.
When he came into Enid's room, her eyes were closed, but it looked like she was having some discomfort, his brow creased with worry, why was she in pain? She had been relatively pain free lately, the medication keeping her from the pain. "Enid Darlin, are you all right?"

"Ezra? Yes, I'm just having a little pain in my abdomen." She knew what it was, but was trying to deny it, not wanting it to be true. She knew she was about to lose her baby, but wouldn't admit it, because that would make it true.

"Do you want me to get the doctor?" He was worried, it could just be from her injuries, but he feared it was something else, the loss of their baby, but she hadn't said so.

"No Ezra, it will pass, I just need to sleep." She closed her eyes, hoping if she went to sleep, it would all go away and when she woke, her pain would be gone.

"All right, I will let you get some rest Darlin, I am going to be right here though, if you need anything." He sat in the chair and watched her sleep, but he could tell her pain wasn't easing, he knew deep down what was happening, but didn't want to get the doctor, until he was sure, nothing could be done to prevent it anyway. Ezra had begun to drift to sleep as Enid seemed to be sleeping soundly. He didn't know how long he was dozing when he heard Enid's cry of pain, he opened his eyes to see her bent in pain. "Darlin, I'm going for the doctor, just hang on."

"Ezra, it's the baby, isn't it?" She was crying, knowing she was losing their baby.

"I'm afraid so Darlin, I am sorry, but we can have more." He wanted to hold her in his arms, comforting her through the pain of her miscarriage, but he needed to get the doctor. When he returned with the doctor, Enid was in a great deal of pain and there was blood on the sheets, she was crying hard and the tremendous sorrow and loss on her face made tears come to his eyes.

"Ezra, I am sorry, I lost our baby, I am so........sorry." She was sobbing uncontrollably, she had wanted this baby so bad, it was a baby that had been created out of their love and she didn't want to lose that, but it wasn't meant to be.

"Darlin, it's not your fault, please don't be sorry, I love you and you are more important to me than anything." He turned to leave the room, needing to regain his composure, plus the doctor needed to tend to her. He sat in the waiting area, the tears falling from his emerald eyes, unhindered. He looked up as Cat came up to him, looking worried.

"Ezra, what's wrong?" She sat next to him, reaching up to wipe the tears from his handsome face, not knowing what was wrong.

"She just lost the baby." He began crying harder, he felt Cat take him in her arms and hold him tight, caressing his hair.

"Ezra, I am sorry, is there anything I can do?" She felt so bad, she knew how badly Enid and Ezra wanted that baby, their hope had grown as time passed and she hadn't lost it, but that was all over now.

"Just hold me until the doctor comes back out." He held Cat tight, clutching her like a drowning man clutches a life vest. They held each other for what seemed like a long time, then the doctor finally came back out. "Doctor, how is she?"

"Well, as you probably know, she lost the baby, I am sorry. I have given her a sedative, she was very distraught, you can go back in whenever you want, but she will be asleep for a while, she needs to recover from the blood she lost."

"Thank you doctor, I do need to be with her right now." He stood and nodded to Cat, then moved back into Enid's room, seeing her pale, sleeping face, still moist from her tears. He moved to her, laying on the bed next to her and taking her in his arms, even though she was asleep, he knew she would feel his presence, his comfort.

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Enid began to cry, even before she opened her eyes, the hollow, empty feeling inside her was strong, despite the fact that Ezra was laying next to her, holding her in his arms. She was devastated at the loss of their baby, she had wanted it more than anything she had ever wanted. She took a deep breath, as the tears rolled down her cheeks, letting Ezra's scent fill her senses, hoping his presence would lessen the emptiness inside her. She felt him tight his hold on her, knowing he was awake. She turned her head and began to sob into his chest, getting his shirt wet.
Ezra had wakened to hear Enid crying, it broke his heart, even though he felt as much pain as she did. He held her tighter, feeling her begin to cry into his chest, wetting his shirt, but he didn't care. His own tears fell and he rested his head on the top of hers, feeling her arms come around him, as they both sought comfort with the other, needing to share their pain and grief. "Darlin, I am so sorry, I really wanted the baby, I know you did too, I just wish I could take the pain away." He didn't just mean hers, he wanted his to be gone too, he had never felt these feelings before, hell, he had never loved anyone like he did Enid and the thought of a new life, created by their love, was a miracle to say the least, but the loss of it, only filled them with pain.
Enid looked up at Ezra, seeing the grief in his emerald gems, she realized that he was hurting as much as she was. She lifted her face, so that their mouths came together, trying to kiss their pain away, wanting the warmth and love to fill the hole that existed inside her. The kiss deepened as they both felt the need for each other fill them, Enid wanted the ache in her heart to go away and Ezra was the only one that could do that. She finally broke the kiss, as their tears mixed together, her cheek pressed against his, feeling his strong, warm arms around her. "Ezra, I love you so much, I just want this ache in my heart to go away." She buried her face in his chest again, as his hand caressed her hair and he held her tighter.

"I know Darlin, I feel it too." He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair with one hand and holding her tighter with the other.

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Jessie and JD had spent the night in the waiting area in each others arms, but they were joined in the morning by Cat, Rebecca, Holo, Elaine, Maria, Shell, Renee, and Stacie, they all wanted to know how Enid was doing and were devastated to hear that she had lost her baby. Rebecca decided to poke her head in Enid's room, just to check on them, what she saw both warmed and broke her heart. The way that Ezra and Enid were together, in each others arms, seeking comfort from each other, was wonderful, but the pain she knew they were in, the tears she saw on their faces, broke her heart, she wanted to do something to help them, but didn't know what, only time could heal their wounds.

"How are they?" Elaine asked, worried about her friend.

"They are holding each other and crying, it's both heart warming and heart breaking, this whole thing is a contradiction, both a miracle that she lived, but so tragic as to what has been lost." Rebecca sat down with her teammates, they all needed each other right now.

"Well, I know things will return to normal soon, granted Enid will probably never forget what happened, but with the love of Ezra and all of us, she will be able to put it aside and live a normal life." Renee added.

"Have we considered whether she will even want to come back? After this, who could blame her if she wanted to quit the ATF." Maria asked, praying that didn't happen, she cared about Enid and wanted what was best, but she knew how much Enid loved her job.

"God Maria, I don't even want to think about that, but I think if we just give her time, she will be back, she probably won't want to do undercover work again, but that wasn't her specialty anyway." Rebecca, would do whatever it took to keep Enid away from undercover work.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Renee added, "Yeah, the only undercover work Enid will want, is with Ezra."
Everyone laughed, it felt good to laugh, none of them had in over a month, since this whole thing happened. They all had tears in their eyes, the laughter masking their true emotions of sorrow and fear, a fear that they would lose Enid in a different way, that she wouldn't want to return to the ATF.
Two days after her miscarriage, Enid began her physical therapy, it was painful and exhausting at first. Ezra was there for every one of her sessions, providing support and encouragement. Enid did everything she was told, no matter how bad it hurt or how tired she became, she would collapse into Ezra's arms after each session, crying from pain and exhaustion, Ezra would pick her up in his arms and set her in her wheelchair, then take her to her room and put her in bed, she would be asleep the minute her head hit the pillow. He was with her at the hospital less and less, since he returned to work, she didn't need him as much now and she would be going home soon.
Enid had been grateful for Ezra's support, when she started her therapy, but now he wasn't there as often, she missed his presence, but they had both agreed to slow down and take a step back, neither really wanted to, but they knew they had been moving too fast before. Enid was not going to move out of Ezra's place, but she would be moving from his bedroom, into the guest bedroom, when she left the hospital. That day arrived two weeks later, she had been given strict orders not to begin her sexual activities for at least another two weeks, the doctor made sure that Ezra knew this too and would follow his orders, she was not physically ready for that yet.
Ezra arrived at the hospital, just as they were bringing Enid to the exit in her wheelchair, he and the doctor took her out to Ezra's Jag and got her situated into the passenger seat, putting the seatbelt gently around her. Ezra was happy to finally be taking Enid home, he had prepared a nice, romantic dinner for them, then they would just spend the evening together, holding each other and just being happy to be together. "Are you comfortable Darlin?" He asked as he sat in the drivers seat and got ready to drive away.

"Yes Ezra, I just want to go home." She was happy to be going home, but she hadn't been able to shake the feelings she had, the feelings about her body, that it was now so ugly with the scars of what had happened to her, she was almost afraid to let Ezra see her naked, just knowing he would turn away in disgust, deep down she knew he would never do that to her, but that did not penetrate the hatred she had for her body.

"Then home it is Darlin, I have prepared a nice dinner for us." He could tell she seemed down, he thought she would be happy to be going home. "What's wrong Darlin, I thought you'd be happy about going home."

"I am Ezra, I guess my emotions are still a little out of control." She tried to smile, to do like Ezra and hide her true feelings, but she didn't think it was successful.

"I understand Darlin, you just let whatever emotions you have, go, I don't mind it at all, I am just so happy that I didn't lose you Darlin." He reached over and caressed her cheek as he drove along, they fell into a pleasant silence as Ezra drove them home. Once home, he helped her into the house, despite the therapy, she was still weak and sore. He guided her to the dinning table, then lit the candles and helped her sit. He served up dinner, which consisted of a Seafood and Pasta salad, some French bread and a bottle of wine. Ezra did not sit on the other side of the table, he sat right next to her, their arms around each other as they fed each other, kissing occasionally, then once dinner was finished, they retired to the couch, snuggling in each others arms in front of the fire. Ezra was so happy to have her in his arms, in his life.
Enid was so happy in Ezra's arms, the warmth and love she felt in his embrace, erased any other emotions she might have, she wanted this to last forever, they had decided to slow down, but she didn't want to, it was just best, someone could get hurt badly if they didn't. She looked up at Ezra as he held her in his arms, the light from the fire flickered in his beautiful green eyes, revealing everything to her. She could see the happiness and contentment in his eyes, she wanted to be his forever. They sat together all evening, talking quietly, kissing often and for long periods their mouths would be locked together in a deep, passionate kiss, then it was time for her to go to bed, she was barely staying awake. She smiled up at Ezra as he tucked her into bed, God she loved him with all her heart and soul. "I love you Ezra."

"I love you too Darlin." He bent and kissed her again, then turned and left, he wanted to make love to her, but knew he couldn't. He knew that Enid was going to be in emotional turmoil for a while yet, he could tell by the way she was acting that she was struggling with something, he just didn't know what yet. Their lives would return to normal eventually.
It had been a week since Enid came home from the hospital, her mood had not improved and Ezra was worried. He couldn't get her to tell him what was wrong, but he was getting little hints about it and thought it had something to do with the scars on her body, now he just needed proof. That proof would come that morning, he got out of bed and walked to Enid's room, wearing just his silk boxers, to check on her, and found her standing naked in front of the full length mirror. His heart broke as he saw her fingering the scars on her body and crying, he had his proof, now it was time to do something about it. "Darlin?"
Enid heard Ezra's voice and quickly brought the towel up in front of her, covering her ugly body, the tears still on her face. "Ezra, I......."

"Darlin" He stepped up to her and took the towel from her, looking at her body, he found her scars beautiful and sexy, he needed to show her that. He pulled her to him, taking her in his arms, they couldn't make love in the usual sense, but there were other ways to *make love*, he was about to do just that.

"Ezra, please don't look at me, I am so ugly now." She felt him take her in his arms, then he picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her down gently, then she watched as he removed his boxers, she tried to cover herself, she was embarrassed by the way she looked.

"Darlin, I think your scars are beautiful and sexy, please let me show you." He laid down next to her, he wanted to feel her flesh against his, he wanted more than that, but they couldn't yet. He pulled her close and kissed her deeply, his hands beginning to caress her, starting with her face. He slowly moved his hands down, caressing her neck and shoulders, as the kiss continued, he felt her hands slide up his chest to his neck, grasping it around the back, to pull him deeper into the kiss, he knew this would work, his attentions on her always took her pain away.
Enid began to lose the feelings of pain and hatred towards her body, as Ezra kissed her and caressed her face and neck, he could always make her forget everything, except what he was doing to her. She pulled him deeper into the kiss, their tongues entwining. She gasped slightly as his hands moved down farther, it was the first time she felt his hands on her breasts in several months and she reveled in the feel of his soft, strong fingers, caressing and massaging the flesh. She felt his finger trace the scar that was on her upper chest, coming down to the top part of her right breast, she had to admit that it felt very sensual.
Ezra broke the kiss, whispering "I love you and you are beautiful." Against her mouth. He felt her sigh, then his mouth moved to her neck, his lips gliding over the soft flesh, his tongue flicking out occasionally to taste her sweetness. He felt his desire growing, he knew that by the time he was done, he would have to find a way to relieve the ache he would be having by then. He slowly worked his way down, his hands moving to her abdomen, his fingers gliding over the scars on her body, his mouth moving lower as well. He paused his decent down her body when he reached the deep valley between her breasts, reveling in the soft flesh there, the wonderful taste of her. His lips left feathery kisses on her, his tongue slipping out to glide over her flesh, hearing her moan as her hands ran through his hair.
Enid was feeling so much pleasure as Ezra's mouth and hands touched and caressed every inch of her body, he knew how to make her feel alive and sensual. She felt his mouth move from her cleavage, his tongue gently gliding over the scar on her chest, before taking her nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and gliding his tongue around it. She moaned from the pleasure of his actions on her breast, it felt so incredibly good, she so desperately wanted to *really* make love to him, but no matter how much she asked, he said no, that the doctor had told her not to for very good reasons and he would not take any risks. She suddenly gasped as his fingers found her warmth, the dexterity of them doing magic on her.
Ezra worked his mouth back up to hers, as his fingers worked their magic, he felt her hands moving down to caress his chest, her touch felt like electricity on his body, sending new desire into his lower regions. He was beginning to ache, but he tried to ignore it, this was for her, to show her that she was still beautiful and that he loved her scars. He looked deeply into her eyes as his fingers finally had the desired effect and she cried out. Their mouths came together again as her pleasure subsided, her hands moving over his body, lighting it on fire.
Enid loved to touch him, her fingers feeling the strength under them, as they caressed his muscular, toned chest, the skin was so soft. She felt ready to explode, looking deeply into his eyes, seeing the love and desire in them, as he finally made the pleasure erupt inside her. Then they began kissing deeply again, she slowly moved her hands down over his washboard stomach, feeling the ripples of muscles there, remembering what they were capable of when they actually made love. She opened her eyes and broke the kiss, when her hands found what was below his abdomen, "Oh Ezra, I am sorry, let me help you find the relief you need." She felt bad that he had reached *that* state while he pleasured her, so she wanted to help him now. She began to caress him lovingly, as their mouths came together again, hearing him begin to moan, after many long moments she finally smiled against his mouth, as he found the relief he needed and moaned into her mouth.
Ezra moaned as the relief washed over him, Enid had now given him, what he had given her, they still felt almost as connected as they did when they joined as one, to make love, this had been quite a different experience, but he had loved every moment, knowing he was showing Enid that he still loved her body, just as much as before she had the scars. He deepened the kiss and held her tight, laying together as long as possible, until Ezra had to get ready for work, he didn't want to leave her, but had no choice.
Enid's mood improved noticeably after that morning, which added in her recovery, in another few weeks, she would be back at work, desk duty to start. She and Ezra took things slower, only making love occasionally, opting for enjoying the pleasure of each others company instead, they needed to go slowly, especially when they thought of what things would be like now, if she hadn't lost the baby, their lives would have been completely turned around, neither of them thought they were ready for that yet. Their love didn't lessen, in fact it was probably stronger than ever, but they just maintained more control over their actions.

THE END!

Enid