| Jokes |
| AFTER THE BARIUM ENEMA: A modest man is in the hospital for a series of tests. One of the last tests has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He then filled his bed with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussing, and swinging his arms wildly which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked "What the heck was that all about?" Still staring down, the drunk replied: "I think I just beat the poop out of a ghost!" |
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| Things you do not want to hear during surgery. 1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. 2. Someone call the janitor. We're going to need a mop. 3. Accept this sacrifice, O great god of the Volcano. 4. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog! 5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? 6. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? 7. Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right? 8. OK, now take an XRAY from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature. 9. And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape. 10. Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off. |
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