1. Buy one or more stainless-steel bear traps, a high-powered rifle or handgun (I personally recommend both!), a stun-gun, an aluminum baseball bat, handcuffs and leg irons -- and learn to use them! Sporting goods stores and the Internet are good sources for equipment for all of your demon-hunting needs!
2. Pinpoint places where demons are apt to congregate or visit! Hot spots include war zones and scenes of domestic violence or unusual weather. Demons are often spotted near prisons, jails, morgues and the red-light districts of most large cities. Satan worshipers are also demon magnets!
I recommend that you exercise extreme caution when trapping near a populated area. Capturing an innocent passerby in a bear trap is not only a tragedy, it will also land you in jail...
3. Once you've selected an area, set and anchor your traps. Then salt the area with New Age crystals, tarot cards, Ouija boards, skull candles, and Satanic tokens.
Because demons have a poor sense of smell, I advise you to splash the area with extra-stong odors, such as cheap colognes, ammonia or kerosine, to get their attention.
4. With your traps all set and baited, all you have to do is watch, wait and listen! You don't want to get too close to the action -- for safety's sake, seasoned trappers generally hide in a camouflaged blind at least 300 to 500 yards away. If your vision isn't 20/20, I suggest you invest in a pair of binoculars!
Be patient! Some trappers have waited 12 to 30 weeks for a demon to stumble on their bait and traps.
5. Once a demon takes the bait and springs your traps, fight the urge to rush in and claim your prize! Demons aren't smart, but they can be very crafty! Wait until you're sure the creature can't shake loose, then approach slowly and knock it senseless with your stun gun or baseball bat! If something goes awry, use your rifle or handgun and blow the demon's head off!
6. If your prey is only stunned, quickly handcuff it's arms behind it's back, clamp on the leg irons and slide it into a large burlap sack. Bury your catch in a four-foot-deep hole. Demons can survive about six weeks without food, water and air.
I strongly recommend that you have buyers ready before you go hunting to eliminate the most dangerous aspect of demon trapping -- guarding the evil prey until it's sold. What sort of people buy demons? Wealthy collectors, colleges and universities, various churches, the FBI, CIA and Pentagon all buy demons!
You may also want to buy a vicious dog or two to guard your prey until it sells! |
