Fan Mail
June, 2000
Welcome to Fan Mail!, brought to you by Louise and Bob of Louise and Bob's Movie Review! In here, you will find the recent movie reviews, a list of new releases with our thoughts on them, and much much more!!!!
Movie Reviews:
(This is a first look at our most recent reviews. Being Fan Mail! subscribers, you are privileged to get a first hand look at our comments.)
Starring: Ron Moody, Shani Wallis, Oliver Reed, Harry Secombe, Mark Lester
Directed by: Carol Reed, Oswald Morris
A musical? Yes, a musical. In 1968, this film was good enough to capture 6 Oscars and 11 nominations including best picture. How good was it? Compared to modern day films, not that good. But I first viewed this film as a middle school student who has never seen a musical so by the lack of comparison, I thoroughly enjoyed the music. As I grew older and had a chance to experience more films of this genre or even live theater, I realize that this is just a movie and could not be ranked in the same league as such live productions as "Miss Saigon" and "Phantom of the Opera." In fact, Bernstein's "West Side Story" was better. Regardless, I did like it some as a child so I do recommend it to children. But as for me now, I can only give it 3 go's.
Submitted by: The Bunny Foo Foo
Starring: Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver, Stellan Skarsgard
Directed By: Gus Van Sant, Jean-Yves Escoffier
A movie about a South Bahston janitor with a criminal record who works at MIT who also happens to be genius. Matt Damon (the genius), Ben Affleck (the genius's somewhat retarded construction worker friend), and Robin Williams (a counselor and lecturer at Bunker Hill Community College - the best institution of the movie) were excellent in this film depicting the mental and emotional development of a talented, yet trouble young man. Briefly, while Matt was cleaning a FAKE MIT hallway, he comes across a very very hard math proof offered by some professor who acts in no way, shape or form like a real MIT professor. Of course Matt solves it with no problem, and is later caught by the professor. We are unclear about the true motives of this professor (to develop or exploit), but he goes and finds Robin to help guide the trouble Matt onto the right track. Along the way a few complications comes along and Matt's emotional problems are revealed to the audience. The ending is good, and the dialogues are quite nice, except for the overuse of words beginning with the big "F". Best scene: Bah scene with Hahvahd dudes. Best quote: HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES! Worst part about the movie: Minnie Driver's accent, very uncool and snobbish. We would have given this movie 5 Go's, or 6 if that was available, but we decided to deduct a half for Minnie Driver, and another half for the use of pathetic high school-ish hallways with lockers in place of real MIT hallways. Final question for you: do you faht in your sleep? If you do, this movie is for YOU!
Submitted By: Peas and Carrots
Starring: Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant, Alec Baldwin, Rhys Ifans, Roger Sloman
Directed By: Roger Michell, Eric Coulter
Yes Hugh Grant plays the same role he always plays, and yes Julia does have one GIGANTIC mouth, but the movie is still a must see for those who prefer them without guns, blood, bad guys - Notting Hill is a movie where you will leave the theater feeling good and with a big smile. Aside from the cool accents, Will's (Grant) fluffy hair, and Anna's (Roberts) clothes, the movie also have the following plus points: 1) the colors of the filming sets/locations are captured quite nicely, 2) the comedic performances of Will's family/friends, especially his roommate Spike, and 3) the soundtrack works well. In addition, the mentioning of Henry James in the movie is interesting symbolically, as well as the garden scene after Will and Anna's first date. Favorite line: there is something wrong with this yogurt.... Sickening moment: Spike posing for the papa razzi and flexing his muscles. Finally, despite what critics say about Grant, Peas & Carrots believe he actually performed better than Julia in this movie. This movie gets 5 go's.
Submitted By: Peas and Carrots
Starring: W. Earl Brown, Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon, Brett Favre, Chris Elliot
Directed By: Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly
Mary (Cameron Diaz) first entered Ted's (Ben Stiller) life in high school, when she surprised him by asking him to go to the prom with her. Prom night, however, went as bad as any nightmare could have gone, and combined with certain circumstances, Ted and Mary don't get to see each other for 10+ years. During Ted's quest to find Mary again, we are introduced one by one to each of Mary's admirers (one even broke his back intentionally so he could get close to her). The movie ends with a happy ending of course. Key symbolic moment in the movie: when Ted lifts the ear muffs of Mary's mentally challenged brother Warren. Best quote: from Ted, "But what about Brett Fav......re?" Other notes: Ugly dog, just like in "As good as it gets." Mary's house mate is one scary woman. The Miami scenery looks very nice, if you have the money, but we don't know if we want to live near Elian's relatives. Finally, this movie gets 3 Go's because: 1) the singing dudes take too much time, we just want to see MARY! 2) There are funny moments, but generally the humor is not great. 3) The cast MAY be good actors, but the movie certainly doesn't require much skill.
Submitted By: Peas & Carrots
Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Claire Forlani, Jason Biggs, Heather Donahue, Amanda Detmer
Directed By: Robert Iscove
I thought this was a pleasant movie. It captured an idea relationship that can occur from a close relationship between 2 random people. The movie circled around the lives of 2 people since their random childhood flight to their college days. The plot was your basic 2 people meeting each other at random places (same flight, same high school, same college...) coincidentally. Eventually they become friends and plot (which isn't very deep) develops. The movie reminded me of "Ten things I hate about you." It would mostly appealed to a younger audience or people who are not interested in a deep movies. It was a good movie and it got 3 go's because I was not bored. It was funny too. Stay to watch a segment during the credits.
Submitted By: Fluffy
Starring: Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Thandie Newton, Dougray Scott, Rade Serbedzija
Directed By: John Woo
This was a very good movie and I recommend it to all the action and "Mission Impossible" fans out there. The story builds on a man who stole a virus that threatens the well-being of the people in Australia and its Ethan Hunt's (Tom Cruise) job to retrieve it. On the way he recruits a female thief who was once the bad dude's girlfriend. The display of action and outrageous stunts makes this movie exciting and fast paced. The music that accompanied it was also very good. Although this one does not have as much as a twist in the plot as the first one, it still is one good movie. Plus John Woo was the director so that's good too!!! This movie receives 4.5 go's
Submitted By: Fluffy
Starring: D B Sweeney, Alfre Woodard, Julianna Margulies, Ossie Davis, Joan Plowright
Directed by Ralph Zondag, Eric Leighton
This was definitely a sight for the eyes. the computer animation and graphics was impressive. but the plot was kinda blah (probably b/c it was geared toward kids). The story builds after an meteor shower hits the earth and Aladar, the main dinosaur and his adopted monkey family, the lemurs, escaped to the main land. there they catch up with a pack of dinos trying to get to the mating grounds. however they are led by an overbearing leader and many die b/c of the fatigue from the trip. The story centers around Aladar attempts to find the mating grounds and then leading the other dino's there. This was a movie for the eyes. It was not very deep but was interesting. It gets 2 go's because I got kinda bored during some parts.
Submitted By: Fluffy
New Releases:
(Although we have not personally viewed these films, we would still like you to know first hand of what we think of the movies. Note: the reviews are completely speculative and based purely on our biases and ignorance.)
Featured Star:
(The most intimate information about some particular celebrity will be disclosed. Note: Again, we do not claim to know all the facts, what we present are only speculations.)
Antonio Banderas -
Antonio Banderas, born on October 10, 1960 (The 49th anniversary of the founding of ROC), probably never figured to have such successes like "Evita" and "The Mask of Zorro" at the age of 38. When he broke his foot at 14 and ended his dream of playing professional soccer player, Antonio did what any rational, non-practical skilled man would do, sign up for drama classes. After joining the National Theatre of Spain, his acting skills apparently caught the attention of a director named Pedro Almodovar and was able to secure several roles in such films like "Labyrinth of Passion" and "Laws of Desire." Although they both sounds terribly like soft-core porn, Banderas actually made the headlines. Although his fame comes to him primarily because of his on-screen male to male kiss, Banderas continually bettered his acting skills and later received more well-deserved acclaim for "Tie me up, Tie me Down."
Although still speaking not much of English at this point, Antonio was still able to be cast in Madonna's film, "Truth or Dare." Of course, if Madonna was cast, who couldn't? Although you would think that acting with Madonna would have probably led to his own career's demise, things turned out much better for Banderas. His participation of such successful films like "Philadelphia" and "Interview with the Vampire" catapulted him into stardom.
Now, speaking much more English, Antonio Banderas was able to play the leading role in "Desperado," "Evita," and "The Mask of Zorro." His part in "Zorro" solidified his status in Hollywood and also tempted him to tackle another challenge. His directing debut featured his wife, Melanie Griffith, probably because he could not convince many others to sign up for a piece of crap like "Crazy in Alabama."
Personally, we are not a big fans of Antonio Banderas. This feature was written as a result of a fan request. Now living in a democracy, we have to listen to the voices of the people and report crap like this. But anyway, go see "Play it to the Bone" and "The 13th Warrior" if this article inspired you to rent some of his most recent works.
Misc.:
(Some random facts we thought you might want to know.)
How many of you watch award shows? How many of you watch the award shows for a glimpse of the celebrities? Or do you watch so you will know what your coworkers are talking about the next day at work? Well, whatever the reason that makes you watch movie award shows, we think they are a good way to sum up what sucked and what did not in the past year. And for you fashion freaks, we will try to let you know who looked hot and who was not at the awards show.
Recently, MTV presented its . First of all, what's up with the skimpy outfit that everybody seems to be wearing these days. First Jennifer Lopez, then some girl who I do not really remember and now, Sarah Jessica Parker. Well, regardless, we strongly believe that more skin does not mean more beautiful when it comes to clothing. From the previews of the show, it was pretty much assumed that Parker will be exposing more than she covers at the show so it was no surprise to us when we actually saw the show. But now, on to the show. Let's give you a run down of the winners.
Best Film - The Matrix
Was "Matrix" really the best choice? American Beauty and actually, all the others deserved the prize but I guess in terms of popularity, "Matrix" deserves the crown. But then, just a question, how long will we be talking about "Matrix." Will that ever become a classic one day? I don't think so.
Best Male Performance - Keanu Reeves
Now this is a joke. Only MTV would give this award to Keanu, Mr. Stiff. Anyway, Kevin Spacey should have been nominated and should have won. I believe most will agree.
Best Female Performance - Sarah Michelle Gellar
We have never seen this movie but after the award show, I probably will. I heard she played the snotty dog with 2 X chromosomes very convincingly. Kinda made me wonder about her usual personality, outside of film.
Breakthrough Performance Male - Haley Joel Osment
This award should go to Haley. Not much you can say about this other than, applause, applause.
Breakthrough Performance Female - Julia Stiles
Usually awards do not go to anyone from the cast of a crappy film but I guess there is an exception for everything. Better than that foreign exchange girl from "American Pie" winning it. The last thing we need is more stripping to get an award.
Best On-screen Duo - Mike Myers and Verne Troyer
Once again, have not seen this film. But judging on the popularity of this film and mini-me, I have no doubt that Mike and Verne did tremendous jobs in their roles.
Best Villain - Mike Myers
Being the amazing Mike Myers, he was able to play the hero and the villain in the same movie. He has already shown his talent for doing so in the previous film so it is no surprise that he would do it again.
Best Comedic Performance - Adam Sandler
Bah, no good. He was not that good. Sandler acted more like a comedian doing stand-up at a club. No flow, just a bunch of jokes. Poor Choice. I think MTV just wanted to hear his acceptance speech so their show could be interesting.
Best Musical Performance - "Uncle F**KA" South Park
Umm...I really could care less for this category.
Best Kiss - Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair
Two girls French Kissing. This is taking acting to a new level. I really do not understand these actors and actresses mentalities. They would do anything for money and an award. This category is almost disgusting. Might as well have a best sex scene. Hey, now that's an idea.
Best Action Sequence - Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace
Yeah yeah, a lot of computer animation stuff. It was cool. Move on.
Best Fight Sequence - The Matrix
I think Jet Li should have won this category. The entire sequence in "Matrix" was done with too much help with computers. Now Jet Li, he's the real deal.
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