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Knock
At the train station:
Dr Parpalaid is moving to Lyon and is at the train station to pick up Dr Knock, his replacement at St-Maurice. In the car, the Parpalaids tell Dr Knock he's lucky to get this practice for such a small price, 'if it weren't for Mme Parpalaid's rheumatism...'. Knock asks if there's a lot of rheumatism in the region. 'There's a lot, but people never consult for these things', says Parpalaid. Knock is disappointed.
The car breaks down. It starts raining.
Inspired by the weather, Dr Knock then asks about pneumonia, etc. Dr Parpalaid tells him the climate is harsh, so there is a lot of infant mortality, but those that survive are very healthy and usually die of heart attacks around 50. 'But you can't make your fortune caring for sudden deaths...?', says Dr Knock. 'There's still flu, says Dr Parpalaid. You can have a great epidemic'. 'But that's like waiting for a comet. If I have to wait for a worldwide epidemic...' Parpalaid says there were 2 epidemics during his time there, and they made a lot of money on St-Michel day.' They start the car.
'What's St-Michel day?', asks Dr Knock.
-That's when clients always pay their medical bill here, at the end of September.
-But we're in October! You sure have picked your time to sell!
They stop to pick the umbrella and the car won't start again.
They walk a little 'to enjoy the scenery'.
-You'll be independant and relaxed here.
Dr Knock is horrified. 'Perhaps I should have brought my fishing rod and a can of worms. Your practice is as worthless as your car, unfortunately it's too late to change my mind now. I've been had.'
In the wood shed:
Dr Parpalaid tells Dr Knock he's having delusions about the medical profession. Dr Knock says he has no delusions, and even though he only recently passed his license, he practiced medicine on a ship for twenty years where they didn't care whether he was a real doctor or not. (He had learned medicine from the labels on pill bottles.)
Trying to evaluate his situation, Dr Knock asks how many people there are in St-Maurice. Are they poor? Are there any great vices like opium, sodomy, politics? Are there any sects, secret societies? No? Then the medical age can begin, he says. Dr Knock tells them they wasted a great opportunity: they should be leaving in gold and pearls. He hitches a ride to the village.
In town:
Knock starts renovating his office, and recruiting help.
At the school:
Knock flatters the teacher; nothing can happen here without him. He must educate the population. He brought him lectures to give. The first one on typhoid... in very frightening details and with disgusting visual aids (typical excrements, etc.). The second on germs...
At the drugstore:
Knock compliments the pharmacist on his installation and slyly enquires about how much money he makes. Dr Knock pretends to be scandalized by how little that is: he asks if there was a scandal in his past, or perhaps... Dr Parpalaid didn't do his job right? The pharmacist hesitates. 'I understand..., says Knock. You wouldn't make a thick book with the sum of his prescriptions.'
He then explains his philosophy. All people are more or less sick, from illnesses that are more or less numerous, and that are progressing more or less rapidly. Dr Knock tells the pharmacist that if he's not rich at the same time next year, he can come to his office and smack him.
In the doctor's office:
Dr Knock then summons the town crier. He insists that he should be referred to as 'Doctor' at all times, in all conversations. He asks the town crier the people's opinion of Dr Parpalaid. "He never found what you had, always prescribed cheap medicine..." Dr Knock then reads the announcement: he'll give free examinations every Monday morning. The town crier worries that he will get too many non-paying clients that way, he'll lose money. Dr Knock says his goal is to cure people, not make money... The man wants to have his free examination right away. He says that after dinner he sometimes feels a tickle or an itch in his stomach...
-Now wait a minute, let's not confuse things. Does it tickle, or does it itch?, asks Dr Knock. 'Does it itch more after you've eaten some 't�te de veau � la vinaigrette'?
-I never eat that... But if I did, I'm sure it would itch more.'
-What's your age?
-51, going on 52...
-Closer to 51, or 52?
The doctor finds an illness and forbids tobacco, wine and women. The town crier is so worried, he wants to go to bed right away. 'No, no, no! says Dr Knock. You should never go to bed in the daytime with your condition. Just do your announcements as usual...'
The Woman Farmer:
The doctor's waiting room is soon flooded with patients. The first one is a farm owner. The doctor asks if she has a lot of work on the farm and takes good note of everything she owns. She feels tired, she says. 'That's what you call it...', he says. He examines her: 'Breathe! Cough!' He tells her that she fell off a ladder when she was a child and landed on her left buttock and her spine is now in disastrous shape. They sit down. 'Do you realize how sick you are?', he asks.
-No.
-That's a consolation.
He tells her it will be very expensive (2 veals and 2 pigs worth) and long to treat. She hesitates... 'You can always do a pilgrimage, if you prefer.' He explains her condition on the blackboard with made-up medical terms. 'Perhaps you should just stay like this, he says. Money is hard to earn, and what's a few years of old age more or less, they don't give that much pleasure anyway.' She asks if there's a cheaper way of curing her. He proposes to put her under observation. She'll remain in complete darkness, alone, in bed, no food, just one glass of Vichy water every 2 hours and half a biscuit morning and night (but he'd prefer if she didn't have the biscuit...). 'There! You can't say I'm prescribing expensive medicine...' At the end of the week, if she's depressed and weak, then it will mean she needs the whole treatment.
The rich aristocrat:
The next patient is a rich woman who talks about her lineage and having to wait in line with the poor. She talks about her money, how she sold some property and wonders if it was a good idea. 'It all depends what you did with the money,' the doctor asks. She bought for 50 000 francs of shares in coalmines. The doctor says there's no need to worry unless this exceeds one tenth of her net worth. It doesn't. She's very relieved, she says. 'So am I', says Dr Knock. She says she came to the free examination to give a good example, as everybody spies on her and gossips about her. She starts to leave, invites him for tea, and mentions her insomnia. Could he help her with that, perhaps?
'Some cases of insomnia are symptoms of extremely grave diseases', the doctor says. He makes up a couple of horrible sounding diseases.
-What's that?
-Imagine a crab, or an octopus, or an enormous spider slowly eating and sucking away at your brains.
-That's it! I feel it, that's what I have. Kill me doctor, give me a shot. There's no cure for it, I know it.
-There is a cure, but it's very long and expensive. She pleads the doctor to take care of her. He says he'll visit her everyday, except on Sundays and Mondays. She worries that won't be enough. He'll go whenever he has a minute, he says.
But, doesn't she have some medication to take?
Yes, says the doctor, a bit at a loss at what to prescribe to her.
Two funny guys:
Two men have been making fun of the doctor and of medecine in the waiting room. The other patients let them go first, and they ask to see the doctor together. Dr Knock won't tolerate such an affront to his profession.
-Take off your clothes!
During the examination, the two become gradually less amused. Afterwards, the doc asks the first man at what age his father died.
-49.
-That old?
He shows him the state of his internal organs. The man says he could stop drinking. 'Do as you wish', the doctor says.
Isn't there some medicine he could take? 'It wouldn't help.' Perhaps he could come back? 'There's nothing I can do.' The other man doesn't want to be examined and they leave. Dr Knock is happy to find quiet and respect have been restored in his waiting room.
Three months later:
The pharmacist is doing great business. He'll have to hire help. The trombone player of the town's band is ill, but thanks to Dr Knock there's a good rotation at the band. They're never sick at the same time.
Doctor Parpalaid in Lyon doesn't have any patients. He decides to go to St-Maurice, to get his first payment from Dr Knock.
At the hotel:
Dr Parpalaid can't find a room, the hotel has been transformed into a clinic. The people there think he's come to help out Dr Knock. A nurse tells him she didn't know there had been a doctor before Dr Knock. Others worry that he's coming back to stay.
Madame Remy explains that people come from afar to get a consultation with Dr Knock. She says how hard the Doctor works, how dedicated he is.
-People were healthier in my days. If people want to waste their money..., says Dr Parpalaid.
Madame Remi gets angry. Dr Parpalaid then leaves to see Dr Knock who gives him his money.
-You can't say now that I've robbed you, says Parpalaid.
-That was your intention, dear colleague. But you could have stayed, there was enough here for both of us.
Knock shows him graphs of the number of weekly examinations, and of the patients under treatment. He talks about the revenues of his clients, how hard he worked trying to figure them out. He shows a map with little flags where there are patients under treatment. Parpalaid asks: 'Doesn't your method put the interest of the doctor above the interest of the patient?'
'I only serve one interest, that of medicine', says Dr Knock.
'Give me people that are undefined, and I'll define them. I'll put them to bed and see what comes up. Tuberculosis, neurosis, etc. But something! I close my eyes on some, you need to have some healthier ones to take care of the sick, but if they laugh at medecine I'll get angry.'
He shows him the view from the window. He tells him how beautiful it is at night. The village is like a sky of which he is the Creator and where every light belongs to him. The healthy sleep in darkness, they don't exist, The sick all have their nightlight on. A bell rings.
-Think, Dr Parpalaid, that it's 6 o'clock; the prescribed time for rectal temperature to be taken. And in a moment, 250 thermometers will penetrate at the same time.
They leave for the visits but Dr Parpalaid has an idea.
At the clinic:
Everybody is excited that Dr Knock is coming to the clinic. Dr Parpalaid tells of his intention to take back his practice, and give his Lyon practice to Dr Knock. Everybody is horrified at the thought. They won't have it. Dr Parpalaid laughs at them, and calls Dr Knock a quack. Knock smoothes things over. He's not leaving St-Maurice, he says, and he asks Mme Remi to find a room for Dr Parpalaid who looks sick. He shouldn't be travelling under any circumstances. They give Parpalaid a room.
In the hospital room:
Dr Parpalaid thanks Dr Knock for getting him a room by pretending he was sick. He marvels at the serious tone Dr Knock always keeps. 'I can't help it, says Dr Knock. I'm always automatically making diagnoses, so much so that I no longer dare look at myself in the mirror.' He explains how every aspect of a face gives him indications and his brain automatically finds the disease; it's something he can't control. Dr Parpalaid says he's been worried about his health and asks the doctor for his serious opinion. Dr Knock puts him to bed immediately; they'll talk about it in the morning.
-Should I take his temperature?, asks the nurse.
-Of course!, says Dr Knock.
