Elderly Man:                 I wish the Lagan would be a nicer place to be.  Back in my day, I would have come here and sat on this bench and look out at the sea.  Good old days!  But now, the Lagan is just a dirty place to be. Shameful!  All you see is rubbish.  I wish people would care more and put their rubbish in the bin!  

 

DOE Man:                   Hello sir.  What are you doing sitting here?

 

Elderly Man:                 I’m just thinking about how we could make the Lagan a better place. You know, cleaner, nicer.

 

DOE Man:                   Well, if we could stop other people from throwing litter in the Lagan – it would be lovely.

 

Elderly Man:                 Yes.  That’s right, but people don’t care these days!  Maybe if you hit them where it hurts …

 

DOE Man:                   Ooh, ouch – don’t think we can go around hitting people in the -

 

Elderly Man:                 No, not there! In their wallets.  Fine them!  £50!  If they throw rubbish down they’ve got to pay up!

 

DOE Man:                   Yeah.  I’ll have to write a proposal or something

 

                        Boy comes along and throws down paper.

DOE Man:                   Hey, what do you think you’re doing?

 

Boy:                             Nothing.

 

Elderly Man:                 Your litter doesn’t belong in the Lagan!

Boy:                             Where should I put it?

 

Elderly Man:                 The bin.  I think we need some more bins around here as well.

DOE Man:                   Promise me that you’ll put your rubbish in the next bin.

Boy:                             Promise. (they shake hands)

All:                               The pongy polluted lagan is as pongy as can be. 

If people put their rubbish in the bin it would be as easy as ABC!