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Forgiveness Meditation
Breathing gently in and out of the heart center and allowing myself
to come to rest where I am, in this room, on this cushion chair or bench.
Just feeling this body just as it is right now. No need to change it.
First I ask forgiveness for the ways in which I have hurt or harmed
others:
There are many ways I have hurt or harmed other beings, knowingly or
unknowingly in thought or word or deed. I picture and remember these now
-- the many ways I have betrayed or abandoned others or caused them pain.
I remember these now, the ways I have caused suffering to others out of
my own pain or confusion or fear...
I ask your forgiveness . . .
(Repeat for each image that comes to mind)
Then I offer myself forgiveness:
There are many ways in which I have hurt or harmed myself, knowingly
or unknowingly betrayed or abandoned myself. I feel and remember these
now.......and the many ways I have harmed myself in thought or word or
deed....done so from my fear, from pain, from confusion, blindness......
I remember these now and feel the pain, and I offer myself forgiveness.
I forgive myself . . . I did the best I knew how.
Then I offer forgiveness for others who have hurt or harmed me:
There are many ways in which others have hurt or harmed me, knowingly
and unknowingly in thought and in word and deed. I picture and remember
these now. I feel and remember them now, the many ways others have hurt
or harmed me out of their fear, out of pain and confusion, out of their
anger and blindness. To the extent that I am ready, I offer them forgiveness.
I forgive you . . .
(Repeat for each image that comes to mind)
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Loving-Friendliness
Meditation
The practice of loving-friendliness, sometimes referred
to as loving-kindness, is a specific meditation practice that can
be used both to develop concentration and to develop the quality of friendliness.
The following instructions are adapted from "A Path With Heart" by Jack
Kornfield, (Bantham Books 1993):
Begin by repeating the following phrases over and over for 15-20 minutes
once or twice daily in a quite place for several months. At first this
meditation may feel mechanical or awkward or even bring up the opposite
feelings of irritation and anger. If this happens, itis especially important
to be patient and kind toward yourself, allowing whatever arises to be
received in a spirit of friendliness and kind affection. In its own time,
even in the face of inner difficulties, loving-friendliness will develop.
Sit in a comfortable fashion. Let your body relax and be at rest. As
best you can, let your mind be quiet, letting go of plans and preoccupations.
Then begin to recite inwardly the following phrases directed to yourself.
You begin with yourself because without loving yourself it is almost impossible
to love others.
May I be filled with loving-friendliness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy
As you say the phrases, you may also wish to use the image from the
Buddha's instructions: picture yourself as a young and beloved child, or
sense yourself as you are now, held in the heart of loving-friendliness.
Repeat the phrases again and again, letting the feelings permeate your
body and mind.
Practice this meditation repeatedly for a number of weeks until the
sense of loving-friendliness for yourself grows.
When you feel ready, in the same meditation period you can gradually
expand the focus of your loving-friendliness to include others. After yourself,
choose a benefactor, someone in your life who has truly cared for you.
Picture them and carefully recite the same phrases: May he/she be filled
with loving-friendliness and so forth. When loving-friendlinessfor your
benefactor has developed, begin to include other people you love in the
meditation, picturing them and reciting the same phrases, evoking a sense
of loving-friendliness for them.
After this, you can gradually begin to include others: friends, community
members, neighbours, people everywhere, animals, the whole earth, and all
beings. Then you can even experiment with including the most difficult
people in your life, wishing that they, too, be filled with loving-friendliness
and peace. With some practice a steady sense of loving-friendliness can
develop and in the course of 15 or 20 minutes you will be able to include
many beings in your meditation, moving from yourself, to a benefactor and
loved ones, to all beings everywhere.
Then you can learn to practice it anywhere. You can use this meditation
in traffic jams, in buses and airplanes, in doctors' waiting rooms, in
a thousand other circumstances. As you silently practice this loving-friendliness
meditation among people, you will immediately feel a wonderful connection
with them -- the power of loving-friendliness. It will calm your life and
keep you connected to your heart.
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Compassion Meditation
Traditionally this meditation begins with the self. In
our your culture it is very difficult for many people to offer loving wishes
to themselves so we begin with one to whom it is easier to offer such thoughts
and then come around to the self.
This is not forgiveness, which
is a further step, but only opening your heart to the pain, the pain of
all beings, and wishing them well.
There is no wrong or right way to do this practice. If
resistance arises, simply note it and re-enter the meditation in whatever
way you are able. You are not requested to dive all the way in but only
to enter as deeply as is comfortable.
As you work with this practice, please modify it and make
it your own.
* * *
Find a comfortable position, body relaxed, back erect,
eyes closed softly.
Bring to the heart and mind the image of one who for
whom there is loving respect. This may be a dear friend, parent, teacher
or any being with whom the primary relationship is one in which you have
been nurtured.
Look deeply at that being, deeper than you ever have before,
and see that he or she has suffered. He has felt pain of the body or the
heart. She has known grief, loss and fear. He has felt loneliness and disconnection.
She has been lost and confused. See the ways this dear one has suffered.
Speaking silently from the heart, note this one's pain,
offering first the name: ____________
You have suffered.
I see how you have felt alone, afraid, in pain.
You have felt grief.
You have felt alienated, felt your heart closed.
Your life has not always brought you what you might
have wished for.
What loving thoughts can you offer this dear one?
Let the thoughts come with the breath, arising and moving
out . . .
May you be free of suffering.
May you be happy.
May you love and be loved.
May you find the healing that you seek.
May you find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for
several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with this dear
one, to open to his/her pain and offer these wishes, prompted by the loving
heart.
(Pause)
Now, let this loved one move aside and in his/her place
invite in your own self. It is sometimes so hard to open our
hearts to ourselves. What blocks that love? Just for experiment sake, please
follow the practice and see how it feels, even if it is difficult.
Look deeply at the self and observe that, just as with
the loved one, you have suffered. You have felt pain of the body or the
heart. You have known grief, loss and fear. You have felt loneliness and
disconnection, felt lost and confused. See the ways you have suffered.
Without engaging in maudlin self-pity, simply observe the wounds you have
borne.
Speaking silently from the heart, this time to your own
self,
offering first your name: ___________________
You have suffered.
I see how you have felt alone, afraid, in pain.
You have felt grief.
You have felt alienated, felt your heart closed.
Your life has not always brought you what you might
have wished for.
What do you wish for yourself?
May you be free of suffering.
May you be happy.
May you love and be loved.
May you find the healing that you seek.
May you find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for
several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with your deepest
self, to open to your pain and longing and offer these wishes, prompted
by the loving heart.
(Pause)
Now let the self move aside and in its place invite in
one
with whom there has been hard feeling. It's best not to choose the
heaviest relationship at first but allow practice with less difficult pain
and move slowly to the heavier emotions.
It is so painful to maintain that separation. A wise teacher
has said, "Never put anyone out of your heart." What blocks opening?
Letting go....
Just for experiment sake, please follow the practice and
see how it feels, even if it is difficult. Please express your own pain
too, as you speak to this one. Can you feel the space where your pain is
one?
Give this one's name, speaking from your heart: _________________
You have hurt me, through your words, your acts, even
your thoughts.
Through what came from you I have experienced pain.
When I look deeply, I see that you have also known
pain.
You have suffered. I see how you have felt alone,
afraid, in pain.
You have felt grief.
You have felt alienated, felt your heart closed.
Your life has not always brought you what you might
have wished for.
May you be free of suffering.
May you be happy.
May you love and be loved.
May you find the healing that you seek.
May you find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for
several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with this one,
to open to his/her pain and offer these wishes, prompted by the loving
heart.
(Pause)
Throughout the world, beings suffer. Not only humans but
plants, insects, animals, even the earth herself.
May all beings everywhere be free of suffering.
May all beings be happy.
(Bell)
May all love and be loved.
May all find the healing that they seek.
(Bell)
May all beings everywhere find perfect peace.
(Bell)
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