98 Shawna L.
I use to sit outside and count the stars,
losing the count before I was finished.
But now they've all disappeared to me,
everything is no longer what it use to be.
Things have faded from my past,
I don't know if I meant to block them out.
I never remembered my real father,
I always kept a special hate for him.
I can't remember when I was first born,
maybe 'cause life means nothing to me.
I've remembered the bad stuff;
the darkness, the nightmares, and the emptiness.
I use to be afraid of the dark;
I've obviously forgot that now too,
I live in the dark.
I use to think I was pretty,
maybe 'cause I was still very innocent.
But everything's faded.
I use to be very dramatic,
I still cry.
I use to believe in a god;
when all he was, was lies.
They thought my macabre illusions would pass,
I'm still very real.
I wish it was as easy as a kid,
to forget myself.
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