ACT I

 

SCENE 1

 

[school is over]

 

sharon-hey guys! let’s go to the library. i really need to get this book for my english class.

maryann-yeah, let’s go. i need to do the same.

katie- damn, i don’t want to go.

elysa-oh come on, katie. it’s just the library

katie-no duh. i know that. that’s why i don’t want to go.

maryann- ok...we’ll drag you there, if you don’t want to go.

katie- ok, ok, i’ll go!

 

[sharon, maryann, katie, and elysa walk towards the library]

 

katie- we’re here now, let’s go. [katie tries to leave]

sharon- [grabs katie] no! not yet, i didn’t get what I needed…so hah!

katie- ok, hold your horses, girl.

sharon- ok, i’m going in.

 

[sharon goes up the stairs]

 

maryann- wait up!

 

[sharon stops]

 

sharon- hurry up!

maryann- i can’t run that fast, i’m going up these stairs. do you know how hard that is?

sharon- umm…umm…. no!

 

[elysa and katie are behind maryann and sharon]

 

elysa- [stops] hold it! i’m tired!

katie- oh come on, let’s go.

elysa- i thought you didn’t want to come.

katie- [laughing] well i see you suffering going up these stairs is making my day even more better.

 

[the four girls enter the library]

 

sharon- whoa! this library is big.

maryann- i know!

sharon- have you guys been in here before.

maryann- nope, this is my first time.

katie- same here.

elysa- [talking to katie] no duh, of course it seems like it’s your first time… [telling the others] and yea this is my first time here, too.

 

[the four girls separate]

 

SCENE 2

 

[sharon finds a book]

 

sharon- wow! this is a nice book.

sharon- hey guys come over here!

librarian- shhh!

sharon- damn, ok i’ll shhh!

 

[katie finds sharon]

 

katie- [laughs] why you say that?

sharon- the damn librarian.

katie- oh.

 

[maryann and elysa finally finds sharon]

 

sharon- what took you guys so long?

elysa- sorry, maryann was doing her make up.

sharon- oh i see. typical maryann.

maryann- what?

sharon- you and your make up.

maryann- oh!... anywayz, why you call us here?

sharon- oh yea! check out this book.

elysa- nice...!

sharon- i know.

 

[katie opens the book]

 

sharon- what are you doing?!

katie- i’m opening the book, duh!

sharon- alright! who’s gunna read it?

maryann- i will!

sharon- go ahead.

 

[maryann starts to read the book]

 

[yellow bright light appears from the book]

 

sharon- what the hell!

 

[the four girls scream]

ACT II

 

SCENE 1

 

[four girls in a whole different place]

 

maryann- okay! i’m starting to panic here…where the fuck are we?

short people- oh my?!

katie- i don’t know.

 

[someone walks up behind the girls]

 

short person- you’re hobbits.

sharon- wh-what?!

short person- you don’t know who or what you are?

elysa- anywayz, what’s your name?

short person- my name is tom.

 

[maryann is still panicking]

 

sharon-okay, tom! let me get this straight, we’re hobbits?

katie- what is a hobbit?

elysa- look around they’re hobbits, short people, and we’re one of them…..that’s what they think we are, but we’re not.

katie- ooh!

tom- yes you are, hobbits

elysa- i have a question, where do we live?

tom- i’ll take you to your homes

 

[the four “hobbits” follow tom]

 

[other hobbits stare at them]

 

maryann- what the hell are they staring at?

sharon- i dunno.

 

[katie and elysa are behind]

 

elysa- hey i know why they’re staring it’s because look at what we’re wearing, it’s freakin’ way different then their style.

 

[maryann heard elysa]

 

maryann- you’re right…cool, we’re different.

 

[tom stops]

 

tom- merry and pippin theirs your homes…that would be you and you [pointing at elysa and katie]

katie and elysa- huh?!

 

[tom and the others leave]

 

[tom stops]

 

tom- sam this is your home, and that would be you. [pointing at maryann]

maryann- wh-what?!

 

[tom and sharon leaves]

 

sharon- um, tom, why you call them by those names?

tom- it’s their names, of course.

sharon- oh.

 

[tom stops]

 

tom- now frodina, this is where you live. and tell your uncle not to be late to his party.

sharon- ok, i will.

 

[sharon knocks on the door, no one answers]

 

[sharon opens the door]

 

sharon- hello?! any one in here?

bilbo- ah! frodina you’re here..

sharon- um…yeah

bilbo- what happened to your clothes?

sharon- oh this, i just saw it lying around.

bilbo- all right! well, i want you to go and wait for gandalf at the entrance.

sharon- ok, where is that? and who is gandalf?

bilbo- where have you been? just go and wait for him.

sharon- i’ll go, now!

 

[sharon leaves]

 

[sharon is waiting]

 

[gandalf singing]

 

sharon- you’re late!

gandalf- a wizard is never late, sharon, nor is he early. he arrives precisely when he means to.

sharon- you know my real my name?

gandalf- of course i do, i’m a wizard. why won’t jump you in and i’ll give you a ride?

 

[sharon jumps in the cart]

 

[sharon and gandalf talk]

 

[little children hobbits come running along]

 

lil hobbit- fireworks, gandalf, fireworks!

 

[fireworks go off]

 

[little children hobbits jump up and down cheering]

 

sharon- it’s cool to meet you, i think i’ll be going now.

 

[sharon jumps off]

 

sharon- bye!

 

SCENE 2

 

[gandalf arrives at bilbo’s place]

 

[gandalf and bilbo have their friendly greeting]

 

bilbo- please come inside.

 

[they go inside]

 

[they start talking]

 

bilbo- i need a holiday, a very long holiday.

gandalf- let’s go outside for a little fresh air.

 

[they go outside]

 

[gandalf and bilbo smoke some weed]

 

bilbo- this will be a night to remember.

 

SCENE 3

 

sharon- dude, i’m bored.

 

[katie and elysa walk up behind sharon]

 

katie- yeah, me too.

elysa-this is totally dullsville.

sharon- no shit!

 

[maryann pops out of nowhere]

 

sharon- geez chick, don’t scare me like that.

katie- well you have to admit it, it was quite funny.

elysa- yeah i have to agree with katie on this, it was funny.

sharon- shut up!... anyways, you know what they could do, is play better music.

maryann- i know, huh? i have an idea.

sharon- are you thinking what i’m thinking?

maryann- yup!...did you bring your cd player?

sharon- yup!...did you bring your speakers?

maryann- of course i did...

sharon- then let’s get this party started!

 

[sharon does her “technology” work]

 

[the music is blasted over the speakers]

 

[maryann and sharon dance]

 

[then the other hobbits join them]

 

[katie and elysa are just standing and watching them dance]

 

katie- [yelling at maryann and sharon] hey guys!

 

[sharon and maryann walk towards katie]

 

katie- we have this idea.

sharon- what is it now?...no wait!...don’t tell me i don’t want to know.

katie- ok then, elysa and i will do it by ourselves.

 

[katie and elysa walk away from sharon and mary ann]

 

maryann- don’t get caught?!

 

[maryann turns around to sharon]

 

maryann- dude, they’re gunna get caught.

sharon- no shit! [laughs]

 

[they sit down]

 

[maryann keeps staring at a guy]

 

sharon- who are you staring at?

maryann- nothing.

sharon- sure looks like nothing.

maryann- ok, ok, that dude right there looks kind of cute.

sharon- to you, everybody looks cute.

maryann- not everybody.

sharon- sure?...why notcha go and dance with him?

maryann- i don’t dance good.

sharon- so...

maryann- you know what, i’ll just get me some beer.

 

[maryann gets up and leaves]

 

[sharon stops her, and pushes mary ann towards the dancing crowd]

 

[maryann and that dude dance together]

 

SCENE 4

 

[bilbo’s ear twitches]

 

[sharon walks around]

 

[bilbo grabs her, and they hide]

 

bilbo- sackville-bagginses.

sharon- huh?

bilbo- they are still mad at me about staying in the house too long.

sharon- oh.

 

[the sackville-bagginses try to find bilbo and sharon]

 

[the sackville-bagginses leave]

 

SCENE 5

 

[elysa grabs an apple]

 

[katie jumps in the cart]

 

[katie grabs a firework]

 

katie- how ‘bout this one?

elysa- no! the big one.

 

[katie grabs a bigger one]

 

elysa- wow! i like that one...it looks like a dragon’s tail.

katie- i know.

 

[they grab the firework and enter a tent]

 

[they set it up, katie lights it]

 

katie- done!

elysa- you’re suppose to stick it in the ground.

katie- it is in the ground.

elysa- outside!

katie- this was your idea.

 

[the firework blows up]

 

[katie screams]

 

[the firework scares everybody cuz it was a shape of smaug, the dragon]

 

[katie and elysa get up]

 

[gandalf grab their ears]

 

gandalf- elysa and katie, tsk tsk tsk. on your first day here you’re already in trouble.....clean the dishes.

katie- huh?!

elysa- why?

gandalf- cuz i said so.

katie and elysa- damn!

elysa- but ok.

 

[elysa and katie wash the dishes]

 

[hobbits cheering for bilbo to make a speech]

 

[bilbo takes the stand makes his speech]

 

[while saying his speech he takes the ring out of his pocket, holds it behind him]

 

bilbo- i bid you all a fond farewell.

 

[bilbo puts the ring on and disappears]

 

sharon- what the hell just happened?

maryann- i dunno.

sharon – oh well...i’m having fun at this party...so yea

 

[the hobbits party the night away]

 

SCENE 9

 

[invisible bilbo walking to the house]

 

[he enters the house]

 

[he takes off the ring]

 

[he walks towards the fireplace]

 

gandalf- there are many magic rings in this world, bilbo baggins...

bilbo- oh come on, gandalf! did you see their faces?

gandalf-...and none of them should be taken lightly.

 

[bilbo turns around]

 

bilbo- it’s in a envelope... over there on the mantelpiece.

 

[gandalf looks for the ring on the mantelpiece]

 

bilbo- no wait! it’s here...in my pocket.

 

[bilbo takes the ring out of his pocket]

 

bilbo- it’s my own....my precious.

gandalf- precious? i think you have kept that ring long enough.

bilbo- how would you know? you want it for yourself.

gandalf- [angry] bilbo baggins! do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! i’m not trying to rob you, [calms down] i’m trying to help you.

 

[bilbo and gandalf hug]

 

bilbo- you’re right the ring must go to frodina.

 

[bilbo opens the door]

 

gandalf- bilbo, the ring is still in your pocket.

 

[bilbo reaches in his pocket, and takes out the ring]

 

[he slightly drops the ring]

 

[gandalf walks bilbo to the door]

 

[they say their goodbyes]

 

[bilbo leaves]

 

[gandalf goes back inside the house]

 

[gandalf reaches out for the ring]

 

[then “boom”, the eye of sauron appears]

 

SCENE 10

 

sharon- you know what? i’m going home. i’m gunna go see what’s my uncle up to. c-ya guys!

maryann- ok chick, bye!

 

[sharon leaves]

 

sharon- [thinking] wow! is this really the book that we’re in? weird....but oh well.

 

[sharon opens the door]

 

[she sees gandalf sitting there]

 

[she picks up the ring]

 

sharon- so....um....where’s my uncle bilbo at?

gandalf- he has gone to stay with the elves.

sharon- oh.

 

[gandalf turns around to look at sharon]

 

[gandalf looks at her hand]

 

gandalf- bilbo’s ring.

 

[gandalf takes an envelope and puts it towards sharon]

 

[sharon puts the ring inside the envelope]

 

[gandalf seals it]

 

gandalf- i’ll be back.

sharon- what? but why?

 

[gandalf walking towards the door]

 

gandalf- i don’t know, sharon. [turns around to face sharon]..keep it secret, keep it safe.

 

[gandalf leaves]

 

SCENE 11

 

[gandalf meets up with strider looking for gollum/smeagol]

 

gollum- shire!!! baggins!!!

 

[gates of minas morgul opens]

 

[the ringwraiths ride out to find the ring]

 

[gandalf rides to the outskirts of mount doom to observe the activity that’s  going on.]

 

[he then heads to minas tirith to study its ancient scrolls]

 

gandalf- [image of isildur’s past] year 3434 of the second age. here follows the account of isildur, high king of gondor and the finding of the ring of power. it has come to me, the one ring. it shall be an heirloom of my kingdom. all that should follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate for i will risk no hurt to the ring. it is precious to me, though i buy it with a great pain. the markings upon the band begin to fade. the writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared. a secret now that only fire can tell.

 

[gandalf looks startled]

 

SCENE 12

 

[ringwraiths are close]

 

[music playing at the green dragon inn]

 

katie, elysa, and sharon- [drunk, singing] to heal my heart and drown my woe. rain may fall and wind may blow. but there still be…many miles to go. sweet is the sound of the pouring rain. and the stream that falls from hill to plain. better than rain or rippling brook.

katie- [drunk and singing] there’s a mug of beer inside this Took.

 

[mary ann sitting down staring at the hobbit dude]

 

[everybody starts to leave]

 

[mary ann walks sharon home]

 

sharon- bye chick! love you!

maryann- [drunk walk] love you too chick!

 

[sharon goes inside the house]

 

[window is open, and wind is blowing]

 

sharon- what the fuck?!

 

[she walks further]

 

[a hand comes out from the dark]

 

[sharon jumps]

 

gandalf- is it secret, is it safe?

 

[sharon opens her chest of stuff]

 

[she looks for the ring]

 

[she finds the ring]

 

[she hands it to gandalf]

 

[gandalf snatches the ring]

 

[gandalf tosses it in the burning fire]

 

[the envelope burns off]

 

[gandalf takes the picker and takes the ring out]

 

gandalf- put out your hand, it’s quite cool.

 

[sharon puts her hands out]

 

[gandalf puts the ring in her hands]

 

gandalf- is there anything on it?

sharon- nope, i don’t see anything...nothing

 

[gandalf feels relieved]

 

sharon- no...wait! there’s something showing. it looks some kind of writing. i have no idea what it says.

gandalf- there are few who can. the language is that of mordor, which i will not utter here.

sharon- ok?...what’s a mordor?

gandalf- it’s not a what, it’s a where?

sharon- oh!!!!

gandalf- in the common tongue it says, "one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

 

[they head to the kitchen]

 

[sharon pours some tea]

 

gandalf- this is the one ring. forged by the dark lord sauron in the fires of mount doom. taken by isildur from the hand of sauron himself.

sharon- then why is it here?

gandalf- well bilbo took the ring from gollum.

sharon- what’s a gollum?

gandalf- gollum was a hobbit, but was corrupted by the ring.

sharon- oh!

gandalf- for sixty years the ring lay quiet in bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age. but no longer sharon. evil is stirring in mordor. the ring has awoken. it's heard its master's call.

sharon- but who is this sauron guy? wasn’t he like destroyed or something?

gandalf- no, sharon. the spirit of sauron endured. his life force is bound to the ring and the ring survived. sauron has returned. his orcs have multiplied. his fortress of barad-dur is rebuilt in the land of mordor. sauron needs only this ring to cover all the lands of a second darkness. he is seeking it. seeking it, all his thought is bent on it. the ring yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. they are one, the ring and the dark lord. sharon, he must never find it.

 

[sharon walks to the fireplace]

 

sharon- we have to keep this ring hidden no matter what. but...umm... does anyone know that it’s here? huh, do they gandalf?

gandalf- there is one other who knew that bilbo had the ring. i looked for the creature gollum, but the enemy found him first. i really don’t know how long they tortured gollum, from the screams and the insane babble, they only discerned two words.

gollum-[flash back to gollum] shire!! baggins!!

sharon- shire!..ok only one good thing i don’t have the last name of baggins.

gandalf- sharon, yes you do!

sharon- shit!! but that means...that would lead them here.

 

[nazgul whacking a hobbit’s head off]

 

sharon- gandalf, take it!

gandalf- [backing away]  you can’t offer me this ring.

sharon- please gandalf!

gandalf- i can’t, it would wield a power to great and terrible to imagine.

sharon- but it can’t stay here!

gandalf- no! no it can’t

sharon – ok, then, what should i do?

 

[sharon gets packed]

 

gandalf- you must leave quickly.

sharon – ok, where do i go?

gandalf- get out of the shire, make for the village of bree.

sharon- umm...bree? where’s that?

gandalf- take the buckleberry ferry.

sharon- ok, what about you?

gandalf- i’ll be waiting there at the inn of the prancing pony.

sharon- ok!

 

[gandalf hears rustling in the leaves]

 

gandalf- get down!

 

[sharon drops to the floor]

 

[gandalf goes to the window,]

 

[peers out cautiously then gives the bushes a whack with his staff]

 

maryann- ow! that hurt!

 

[gandalf grabs maryann and plops her on the table]

 

gandalf- have you been eavesdropping?

maryann- ummm...no?

 

[sharon gets up from the floor]

 

sharon- damn chick! you know that you were eavesdropping.

maryann- i know. [scared] don’t turn me into anything unnatural.

gandalf- no?

 

[maryann gets her stuff]

 

[they start their journey]

 

[gandalf stops the hobbits]

 

gandalf- i’ll be leaving now. the buckleberry ferry is that way. [pointing straight ahead]

sharon – ok.

gandalf- is it safe?

 

[sharon puts her hand close to her pocket]

 

[gandalf jumps on his horse]

 

gandalf- i’ll be seeing head of my order. he is very wise, and he’ll know what to do.

 

[gandalf rides off]

 

[sharon and maryann walk more]

 

[mary ann stops]

 

maryann-  are you sure about this?

sharon- yes, i am, because it’s for the greater good.

maryann- are you sure?

sharon- yes, let’s go, this would be fun. trust me.

maryann- ok..

 

[they walk more]

 

[they stop to eat and rest]

 

[maryann is cooking]

 

[sharon just being lazy]

 

[soft singing in the distance]

 

sharon- what is that?

maryann- i dunno.

sharon- let’s go check.

 

[maryann and sharon check it out]

 

maryann- wow, that’s pretty.

sharon- heck yea it is.

maryann- they’re elves, but tall ones.

sharon- yea, huh?

maryann- this is tight ass.

sharon- it looks like they’re all leaving.

maryann- aww...

sharon- hey let’s go , we need to get some shut-eye for tomorrow.

 

[they walk to their stuff]

 

[sharon sleeps, but maryann cannot]

 

maryann- sha, how do you do it?

sharon- do what?

maryann- sleep like this.

sharon- imagining it’s my bed, try to do the same.

maryann- alright... [sleeps]

 

SCENE 13

 

[ringwraith, on a ridge, looking over the shire]

 

[gandalf rides swiftly into isengard]

 

[saruman descends down the steps of orthanc to meet him]

 

saruman- smoke rises from the mountain of doom. the hour grows late and gandalf the grey rides to isengard seeking my counsel. for that is why you have come, is it not...my old friend?

gandalf- saruman. [bows]

 

[gandalf and saruman are walking through the gardens of isengard]

 

saruman- you are sure of this?

gandalf- beyond any doubt.

saruman- the ring of power has been found.

gandalf- all these long years it was in the shire, under my very nose.

saruman- yet you did not have the wit to see it. your love of the halfling’s leaf has clearly slowed your mind.

gandalf- but we still have time. time enough to counter sauron if we act quickly.

saruman- time?! what time do you think we have?

 

[gandalf and saruman are conferring in the chambers of orthanc]

 

saruman- sauron has regained much of his former strength. he cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. concealed within his fortress, the lord of mordor sees all -- his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh. you know of what i speak, gandalf -- a great eye... lidless... wreathed in flame.

gandalf- the eye of sauron.

saruman- he is gathering all evil to him. very soon he will summon an army great enough to launch an assault upon middle earth.

gandalf- you know this? how?

saruman- i have seen it.

 

[gandalf and saruman enter the chamber of the palantir]

 

gandalf- a palantir is a dangerous tool, saruman.

saruman- why? why should we fear to use it? [unveils the palantir]

gandalf- they are not all accounted for, the lost seeing stones. we do not know who else may be watching! [covers the palantir, eye of sauron flashes briefly]

saruman- the hour is later than you think. sauron's forces are already moving. the nine have left minas morgul.

gandalf- [alarmed] the nine!

saruman- they crossed the river isen on midsummer's eve, disguised as riders in black.

gandalf- they've reached the shire?!

saruman- they will find the ring…and kill the one who carries it.

gandalf- sharon!

 

[gandalf heads towards the door but saruman closes it with his mind and the other doors in turn.]

 

[trapped]              

 

[gandalf looks at saruman]

 

saruman- you did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the will of sauron? there are none who can. against the power of mordor there can be no victory. we must join with him, gandalf. we must join with sauron. it would be wise, my friend.

gandalf- tell me, "friend", when did saruman the wise abandon reason for madness?!

 

[with a shout, saruman points his staff at gandalf, throwing him up and pinning him against the far wall, then drops him heavily to the floor]

 

[gandalf counters with his own staff, throwing saruman onto his back.]

 

[they battle back and forth]

 

[saruman uses his power to yank gandalf’s staff from his hands]

 

[saruman advances on gandalf with both staffs]

 

[gandalf spins helplessly just above the floor]

 

saruman- i gave you the chance of aiding me willingly. but you...have elected...the way of pain!

 

[saruman sends gandalf rising to the pinnacle of orthanc]

 

SCENE 14

 

[maryann in a farm crops alone]

 

maryann- sharon! where the fuck are you?

sharon- i’m right here.

maryann- where!

 

[sharon walks towards maryann]

 

sharon- i’m right here.

maryann- ok, just making sure.

sharon- we’re still in the shire...what could possibly happen?

 

[elysa bumps into maryann]

 

[then katie bumps into sharon]

 

katie- omigod, it’s sharon. elysa, it’s sharon.

elysa- hello, sharon.

sharon- what‘s wrong with you guys?

 

[katie puts veggies in maryann’s arms]

 

maryann- omigod, what the fuck are you doing?

sharon- please don’t tell me you’re jacking all of this.

 

[old man yelling]

 

elysa- oh shit!

 

[they all run]

 

[katie stops at a small cliff]

 

[then elysa follows, then sharon]

 

[then maryann bumps sharon]

 

[they go tumbling down the small cliff]

 

[they all land on each other]

 

maryann- next time, let’s just leave them.

elysa- what? that was just a detour. a shortcut.

maryann- short cut to what?

katie- yo! mushrooms!

 

[sharon gets up and looks at the road ahead]

 

[the road closes in]

 

sharon- get off the road, quick!!

 

[they all get off the road]

 

[they hide under the root cave of a tree]

 

[a black rider comes slowly riding in]

 

sharon- [whisper] shut up!

 

[they shut up]

 

[the rider gets off his horse to check things out]

 

[the rider tries to sniff them out]

 

[then all of a sudden all of these bugs come out to play]

 

[eylsa gets something and throws it]

 

[the black rider leaves]

 

[sharon and the others leave]

 

katie- what was that?

 

[sharon ignores the question]

 

[night comes in]

 

katie- is it clear?

sharon- nothing

elysa- that black rider was looking for something or someone? sharon?!

sharon- what?

maryann- get down!

 

[the black rider is in the distance]

 

sharon- maryann and i must get to bree. i must go on the buckleberry ferry.

elysa- i know where that is. follow me.

 

[the  “hobbits” run towards the ferry]

 

[but they encounter the black rider again]

 

[the “hobbits” run for their lives]

 

[elysa, katie, and maryann make it on the ferry]

 

[but sharon is behind running]

 

[sharon runs, then jumps on the ferry]

 

sharon- how long to the nearest crossing?

katie- huh?

elysa- brandywine bridge, 20 miles.

maryann- elysa, you understood that?

elysa- of course i did, i’m smart like that.

 

[the “hobbits” rest on the ferry]

ACT III

 

SCENE 1

 

[rain pouring outside]

 

maryann- this is really great, i’m not even wearing waterproof mascara

sharon- oh quiet!

 

[“hobbits” arrive at the west gate of bree]

 

sharon- look! there it is!

elysa- someone knock on the door.

maryann- i’m not doing it.

katie- i’m not either. elysa, you do it!

elysa- hell no!

sharon- ok i’ll do it.

 

[sharon knocks on the gate]

 

gatekeeper- what do you want?

sharon- we’re here to stay in the prancing pony inn.

gatekeeper- hobbits! four hobbits?! what business bring you to bree?

elysa- it’s none of your business.

gatekeeper- alright, young lass, i mean no offense. ‘tis me job to ask questions after nightfall. there’s talk of strange folk abroad. can’t be too careful.

 

[“hobbits” walk through the cobble stone path]

 

[people of bree being rude]

 

[“hobbits” enter the prancing pony inn]

 

sharon- hello?

butterbur- good evening little ones! if you’re here seeking accommodation we’ve got some nice, cozy, hobbit-sized rooms available. ms. uh –

sharon-  underhill, my name is underhill.

butterbur- underhill. hmm...

sharon- we’re here for gandalf the grey. can you tell him that we’re here.

butterbur- gandalf? gandalf? ohhh yes! i remember, elderly chap, big gray beard, pointy hat. not seen him for 6 months.

sharon- [thinking] then where the hell is he?

 

[the “hobbits” huddle in]

 

maryann- what do we do now?

 

[the “hobbits” are seated at a table in the common room of the prancing pony]

 

[the air is dark and smoke-filled]

 

[drunken men laugh raucously]

 

[several glance suspiciously at the “hobbits”]

 

[sharon looks worried, as does maryann]

 

sharon- don’t worry, mary ann. he’ll be here. i hope.

maryann- do you think something might’ve happened to him?

katie- don’t think like that.

elysa- i’m thinking the same thing.

sharon- don’t worry!

elysa- i’ll be right back.

 

[elysa goes to the bar]

 

[elysa buys a drink]

 

[elysa goes back to the others]

 

[elysa sits down at the table]

 

[elysa is holding a huge stein of beer]

 

katie- what is that?

elysa- this is a pint of beer

maryann- it comes in pints? i’m getting one.

 

[maryann gets up and walks to the bar]

 

[katie follows]

 

[elysa turns back to her mug]

 

[after a moment, she nudges at sharon]

 

elysa- that guy over there as been staring at you since we came here.

 

[butterbur comes walking by]

 

[sharon tugs on butterbur’s apron]

 

sharon- excuse me?

 

[butterbur looks at sharon]

 

sharon- that man in that corner, [pointing] who is he?

butterbur- he’s one of them rangers. dangerous folk they are – all wandering the wilds. what his right name is , i’ve never heard, but ‘round here. he’s known as strider.

sharon- strider...

 

[sharon starts to lay with ring]

 

[the ring starts to tempt her to put it on]

 

katie- i know a baggins. she’s over there.

 

[sharon runs to katie]

 

katie- geez!

 

[sharon back trips on something]

 

[sharon let’s go of ring]

 

[ring goes up, and on sharon’s finger]

 

[sharon disappears]

 

[the ringwraiths are alerted]

 

[sharon is now in the shadow world, looks around mystified]

 

[she then sees an immense singular orb, a lidless eye, wreathed in flame]

 

[the eye of sauron stares down on her]

 

eye of sauron-you cannot hide! i see you! there is no life in the void, only death!

 

[sharon backs away, terrified]

 

[she gropes the ring, unable to tear her gaze from the hideous eye]

 

[she takes the ring off]

 

[she reappears beside strider’s table]

 

sharon- wow!

 

[strider grabs sharon]

 

strider- you draw too much attention to yourself, ms. “underhill”!

 

[strider being aggressive to sharon, he pushes her towards the stairs]

 

[strider brings sharon into his room]

 

[he tosses her inside and shuts the door]

 

[sharon gets up]

 

sharon- what the hell do you want?

strider- indeed [puts candles out] i can avoid being seen if i wish, but to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift.

sharon- who are you?

strider- are you frightened?

sharon- yes!

strider- not nearly frightened enough. i know what hunts you.

 

[the door swings open]

 

[maryann, katie, and elysa have weapons to use]

 

[strider takes his sword out]

 

strider- you have a stout heart, little hobbit. but that will not save you. you can no longer wait for the wizard, sharon. they’re coming.

 

[the “hobbits” sleep in strider’s room]

 

[the nazgul crash through the gates of bree and into the prancing pony]

 

[screeches are heard]

 

[they make for the hobbits’ room and starts stabbing the beds]

 

[they pull back the covers to realize the hobbits are not there]

 

[they scream]

 

[strider watches from the window in his room as the nazgul remount their dark horses]

 

[sharon, gravely concerned of the attack, sits at the foot of the bed]

 

[the others  are awakened by the Nazgul cries]

 

sharon- what’s that?

strider- they were once men. great kings of men. then sauron the deceiver gave them the nine rings of power. blinded by their greed, they took them without question. one by one falling into darkness,. now they are slaves to his will. they are the nazgul, ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. at all times they feel the presence of the ring. drawn to the power of the one. they will never stop hunting you.

 

SCENE 2

 

[strider and the “hobbits” leave with a new companion, bill the pony]

 

elysa- where are you taking us?

strider- into the wild.

 

[elysa and sharon talk]

 

elysa- how do we know if this strider is a friend of gandalf?

sharon- i dunno. let’s follow, cuz he’s the only person that would help us.

elysa- alright.

maryann- i have a question! where is he leading us?

strider- to rivendell, maryann, the house of elrond.

maryann- cool!

 

SCENE 3

 

[the “hobbits” stop to eat]

 

[strider turns to look what they’re up to]

 

strider- we don’t stop till  nightfall.

katie- what about breakfast?

strider- you’ve already had it.

katie- we had one, yes. what about second breakfast?

 

[strider turns and continue to walk]

 

elysa- don’t think he knows about second breakfast, kate.

katie- what about elevenses? luncheon? afternoon tea? dinner? supper? he knows about them doesn’t he?

elysa- i dunno, why are you asking me?

katie- ok, then!

 

[fruits come flying from the other side of a tree]

 

[elysa catches one, and gives it to katie]

 

[then one hits katie]

 

elysa- let’s go!

 

SCENE 4

 

[in isengard, saruman is in the chamber of the palantir]

 

[his hand is suspended over the stone, and a fiery light is in its depths]

 

[the eye of sauron appears within the palantir]

 

saruman- [telepathically] the power of isengard is at your command, sauron, lord of the earth.

voice of sauron- build me an army worthy of mordor!

 

[saruman is sitting on a chair in one of his chambers]

 

[his arms wound about him]

 

[three orcs comes into the room]

 

orc- what orders from mordor my lord? what does the eye command?

saruman- we have work to do!

 

[at the pinnacle of orthanc, gandalf wakes painfully]

 

[the cold rain slashing down, the creaking of the felled trees heard far below]

 

[he slowly pushes himself up and moves cautiously to the edge and peers down at the activity surrounding isengard]

 

orc- the trees are strong, my lord. their roots go deep.

saruman- rip them all down.

 

SCENE 5

 

[strider stops and looks at the ruins of atop a tall hill]

 

strider- this was the great watchtower of amon sul. we shall rest here tonight.

 

[they climb the tall hill]

 

[the “hobbits” settle in]

 

[strider gives the “hobbits” swords to defend themselves]

 

strider- these are for you. keep them close. i’m going to look around. stay here.

 

[strider leaves]

 

[sharon takes a small nap]

 

[sharon wakes up from interruptions]

 

[mary ann, elysa, and katie are gathered around eating]

 

sharon- what are you guys doing?

maryann- sharon is up from her sleep. we’ve saved some food for you.

sharon- dude! put the fire out!

elysa- ok, geez!

 

[they put out the fire]

 

[screeching sounds]

 

sharon- oh, shit!

maryann- hey, it wasn’t my idea.

sharon- i don’t care, run!

elysa- [pointing to opening] this way!

 

[the “hobbits” go that way]

 

[they’re huddled in the middle]

 

[the ringwraiths appear]

 

sharon- ummm....guys.....check this out.

katie- oh shit!

 

[ringwraiths come closer]

 

[mary ann tries to defend]

 

[elysa and katie is just shoved out of the way]

 

[sharon just drops everything]

 

[sharon trips and falls]

 

[backs away]

 

[ringwraiths come closer]

 

[sharon puts the ring on]

 

[she disappears, but not from the ringwraiths]

 

[nazgul tries to take it, sharon pulls away]

 

[sharon gets stabbed]

 

[strider comes to the rescue]

 

[sharon is not invisible anymore]

 

[strider kicks some major nazgul ass]

 

maryann- strider!

 

[strider comes over]

 

[strider picks up to the blade]

 

strider- she’s been stabbed by a morgul blade. this is beyond my skill to heal. she needs elvish medicine.

 

[strider carries sharon on his shoulder]

 

[and leaves weathertop]

 

[the other “hobbits” are still behind him]

 

[still could hear screeches]

 

strider- hurry!!

maryann- she won’t make it, dude!

strider- hold on, sharon.

sharon- [in pain] gandalf!!

 

SCENE 6

 

[over isengard and up to the pinnacle of orthanc where gandalf is held prisoner]

 

[a moth flutters around and is caught by gandalf, then whispers to it]

 

gandalf- [whispering] gwaihir. go, gwaihir.

 

[gandalf sends it off and the moth flies away]

 

[then into caverns of isengard as forging of weapons and armor are well underway]

 

[saruman observes all the activity with pride and witnesses the birth of lurtz and the uruk hai]

 

SCENE 7

 

maryann- sharon?! damnit, she’s going cold.

katie- is she gunna die?

strider- she’s passing into the shadow world, she’ll soon become a wraith like them.

 

[sharon gasps]

 

[the nazgul screeches are heard]

 

elysa- they’re close.

 

[strider goes up to mary ann]

 

strider- maryann, do you know the athelas plant?

maryann- athelas?

strider- kingsfoil.

maryann- kingsfoil, isn’t that some kind of a weed. [remembering] heck yeah, i know what it is! i smoke it 24/7!

strider- yes, it may help to slow the poison. hurry!

 

[maryann and strider search]

 

[strider finds some and takes it]

 

[a long pretty sword is at his throat]

 

arwen- what’s this? a ranger caught off his guard?

 

[sharon lies there helpless]

 

[sharon sees a white BRIGHT light]

 

[arwen approaches sharon]

 

arwen-  [elvish speaking] sharon, i am arwen. i come to help you. listen to my word. come back to the light.

 

[sharon comes back to the light]

 

elysa- who is she?

 

[arwen kneels by sharon]

 

arwen- sharon!

 

[the “hobbits” are amazed]

 

maryann- she’s an elf.

 

[sharon gasps]

 

arwen- she’s not going to last. we must get her to my father. i’ve been looking for you for two days.

 

[strider carries sharon to arwen’s horse]

 

[arwen follows him]

 

elysa- where are they going?

 

[strider and arwen still talking]

 

arwen- there are five wraiths behind you. where the other four are, i do not know.

 

[strider mounts sharon onto arwen’s horse]

 

strider- [elvish speaking] stay with the hobbits. i will send horses for you.

arwen- [elvish speaking] i will take her, i am a swifter rider.

strider- [elvish speaking] the road is very dangerous.

 

[all of the “hobbits” are confused]

 

maryann- what are they saying?

elysa and katie- i dunno.

 

[arwen and strider try to reason]

 

arwen- [elvish speaking] sharon dies, if i get across the river, the power of my people will protect her. i do not fear them.

strider- [elvish speaking] according to your wish.

 

[arwen mounts on the horse]

 

strider- arwen, ride hard. don’t look back!

arwen- [elvish speaking] ride fast asfaloth, ride fast.

 

[arwen rides off with sharon]

 

maryann- what the hell are you doing?! those fucking wraiths are still out there!

 

SCENE 8

 

[arwen rides on as the nazgul gives chase]

 

[amongst the trees and over open spaces they rode in pursuit]

 

arwen- [elvish speaking] ride faster asfaloth!!

 

[arwen reaches the river, and splashes across the ford]

 

[she pauses and looks back]

 

[the ringwraiths have stopped at the edge of the water]

 

ringwraith- give up the halfling, she-elf!

 

[arwen draws her sword]

 

arwen- if you want her, come and claim her!

 

[the ringwraiths draw their swords and begin to cross the ford]

 

arwen- [elvish speaking] waters of the misty mountains listen to the great word; flow waters of loudwater against the ringwraiths!

 

[the water level rises]

 

[a great flood comes around the bend, with peaks like white horses]

 

[the ringwraiths are cast from their mounts and washed away down the river]

 

[sharon starts to slip from the horse]

 

[arwen lays her on the ground]

 

arwen- no! sharon...no! sharon, don’t give in! not now!

 

[arwen cries and embraces sharon]

 

arwen- what grace is given me, let it pass to her, let her be spared, save her.

ACT IV

 

SCENE 1

 

elrond- [elvish speaking] frodina, hear my voice, come back to the light.

 

[sharon lying in bed]

 

[sharon awakes]

 

sharon- where am i ?

gandalf- you are in the house of elrond , and it’s 10 o’clock in the morning, on october the 24^th, if you want to know.

 

[sharon sits up straight]

 

sharon- gandalf?!

gandalf- yes...i’m here. and you’re lucky to be here too. a few hours and you would have been beyond our aid. but you have some strength in you, my dear hobbit!

sharon- what happened, gandalf? where were you?

gandalf- i’m sorry, sharon...i was delayed.

 

[flashback to isengard]

 

[saruman using his powers]

 

[he flips gandalf about then dangles him dangerously over the edge of orthanc]

 

gandalf- friendship with saruman is not slightly thrown aside. one i’ll turn deserves another. it is over!

saruman-embrace the power of the ring... or embrace your own destruction!

 

[saruman flips gandalf back on the platform]

 

gandalf- [rising up slowly] there is only one lord of the ring! only one can bend it to his will. and he does not share power!

 

[gandalf leaps off the tower of orthanc and lands on gwaihir’s back]

 

saruman- so you have chosen – death.

 

[gwaihir flies over mountains and bearing gandalf’s safety]

 

[end of flasback]

 

SCENE 2

 

sharon- gandalf? what’s wrong?

gandalf- nothing, sharon.

 

[maryann runs inside]

 

maryann- sharon! omigod, i can’t believe, you’re alright!

 

[sharon smiles]

 

gandalf- maryann has hardly left your side.

maryann- we were so worried about you, weren’t we gandalf?

gandalf- by the skills of lord elrond, you’re beginning to mend.

elrond- welcome to rivendell, frodina baggins.

sharon- ok? anywayz, let’s go for a walk.

 

[sharon and maryann walk around]

 

[they bump into elysa and katie, happy moment]

 

[then sharon spots bilbo]

 

[sharon walks over to bilbo]

 

sharon- bilbo!

bilbo- hello frodina my lass!

sharon- bilbo!

 

[hug moment]

 

sharon- what’s that?

bilbo- that is my book.

sharon- may i see it?

bilbo- go right ahead.

 

[sharon looks through the book]

 

sharon- ‘there and back again: a hobbit’s tale, by bilbo baggins’. this is wonderful.

bilbo- i meant to go back...wonder the paths of mirkwood...visit laketown...see the lonely mountain again. but age it seems have finally caught up with me.

 

[sharon looks at the maps in the book]

 

sharon- you had adventures, but my adventure turned out quite different. i’m not like you bilbo.

bilbo- my dear, frodina...

sharon- i’ll be going now.

bilbo- i’ll talk to you later.

 

[sharon leaves]

 

sharon- [thinking] where could maryann be?

 

[sharon looks around]

 

sharon- [thinking] ok, there she is!

 

[sharon walks up behind maryann]

 

[sharon taps on her, and maryann jumps]

 

sharon- [laughing] omigod, that was funny!

maryann- no it wasn’t!

sharon- trust me it was.

maryann- stop! what are you doing here?

sharon- just wanted to see what you’re doing? so do you like it here?

maryann- hell yeah i do...i love this place.

sharon- that’s cool. same here.

 

SCENE 3

 

[gandalf and elrond watching sharon and maryann from the balcony in elrond's study]

 

elrond- her strength returns.

gandalf- that wound will never fully heal. she will carry it the rest of her life.

elrond- and yet to have come so far, still bearing the Ring, the hobbit has shown extraordinary resilience to it's evil.

gandalf- it is a burden she should never had to bear. we can ask no more of frodina.

elrond- gandalf, the enemy is moving. sauron's forces are amassing in the east-- his eye is fixed on rivendell. and saruman you tell me has betrayed us. our list of allies grows thin.

gandalf- his treachery runs deeper than you know. by foul craft saruman has crossed orcs with goblin-men, he's breeding an army in the caverns of isengard. an army that can move in sunlight and cover great distance at speed. saruman is coming for the ring.

elrond- this evil cannot be concealed by the power of the elves. we do not have the strength to fight both Mordor and isengard!

 

[gandalf moves away, deep in thought]

 

elrond- gandalf, the ring cannot stay here.

 

[gandalf watches boromir, legolas and gimli arrive in rivendell]

 

elrond- this peril belongs to all middle earth. they must decide now how to end it. the time of the Elves is over-- my people are leaving these shores. who will you look to when we've gone? the dwarves? they hide in their mountains seeking riches-- they care nothing for the troubles of others.

gandalf- it is in men that we must place our hope.

elrond- men? men are weak. the race of men is failing. the blood of numenor is all but spent. it's pride and dignity forgotten. it is because of men the ring survives. i was there gandalf. i was there three thousand years ago...

 

[quick flashback to isildur slicing the ring off sauron’s hand]

 

[back to reality]

 

elrond-  isildur took the ring. i was there the day the strength of men failed.

 

[return to flashback, elrond and isildur on the slopes of mount doom]

 

elrond- isildur hurry. follow me.

elrond- [voice over] i led isildur into the heart of mount doom, where the ring was forged, the one place it could be destroyed.

 

[at sammath naur, elrond stands near the cracks of doom]

 

elrond- cast it into the fire!

 

[isildur looks at the ring in his hand. The ring whispers to him]

 

elrond- destroy it!

isildur- no.

 

[isildur walks away]

 

elrond- isildur!!!

elrond- [voice over] it should’ve ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure.

 

[flashback ends]

 

[back to reality]

 

elrond- isildur kept the ring. the line of kings is broken. there is no strength left in the world of men. they’re scattered, divided, leaderless.

gandalf- there is one who could unite them, one who could reclaim the throne of gondor.

elrond- he turned from that path long time ago. he has chosen exile.

 

SCENE 4

 

[strider is reading a book]

 

[boromir enters]

 

[boromir looks at strider]

 

boromir- you are no elf

strider- men from the south are welcome here. i’m a friend of gandalf the grey.

boromir- we’re here for the same purpose.

 

[boromir pauses to regard the painting of isildur and sauron]

 

[then he turns to the shrine and sees the broken sword lying there]

 

[boromir picks up the haft and stares at the blade]

 

boromir- the shards of narsil! the blade that cut the ring from sauron's hand!

 

[boromir runs his finger up the blade and cuts himself]

 

boromir- [in amazement] it's still sharp!

 

[turns to look at strider who is watching him]

 

boromir- [in disdain] no more than a broken heirloom!

 

[boromir returns the sword carelessly and it clatters to the ground]

 

[boromir walks away]

 

[strider gets up and walks to the shrine]

 

[strider picks up the dropped haft and carefully sets it in place with the other shards]

 

[he takes a step back and touches his right hand to his heart, as he looks at the shrine]

 

[arwen walks in behind him]

 

arwen- why do you fear the past? you are isildur's heir, not isildur himself. you are not bound to his fate.

aragorn- the same blood flows in my veins. [turns to arwen] same weakness.

arwen- your time will come. you i will face the same evil, and you will defeat it [elvish speaking] the shadow does not hold sway yet, not over you and not over me.

 

[arwen and strider go to the twilight garden, standing atop a bridge]

 

arwen- [elvish speaking] do you remember when we first met?

strider- [elvish speaking] i thought i had strayed into a dream.

 

[arwen tenderly touching strider’s cheek]

 

arwen-  [elvish speaking] long years have passed...you did not have the cares you carry now. do you remember what i told you?

 

[strider running his fingers across the evenstar pendant]

 

strider- you said you’d bind yourself to me - - forsaking the immortal life of your people.

arwen- and to that i hold. i would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.

 

[arwen gives the evenstar to strider]

 

arwen- i choose a mortal life.

strider- you cannot give me this.

arwen- it is mine to give to whom i will...like my heart.

 

[they kiss]

 

SCENE 5

 

[sharon is sleeping]

 

maryann- wakeup!!!!!!!

sharon- why?

elysa- you got that secret council thing to go to.

katie- and i think you’re running late.

sharon- what?!

katie- i knew that would get her up.

maryann- well, get up and get dressed.

 

[sharon gets dressed]

 

[sharon leaves and ends up finding gandalf]

 

[gandalf and sharon go to the council]

 

[they all sit down]

 

elrond- strangers from distant lands, friends of old. you have been summoned here to answer the threat of mordor. middle earth stands upon the brink of destruction. none can escape it. you will unite or you will fall. each race is bound to this fate, this one doom.

 

[elrond looks at sharon]

 

elrond- bring forth the ring, frodina.

 

[sharon goes up to the pedestal and puts the ring down]

 

legolas- [thinking] she’s beautiful.

 

[sharon still standing near the pedestal]

 

sharon- umm...can i ask you one favor?

elrond- go on ahead.

sharon- please, don’t call me, frodina.

elrond- what do you want me to call you?

sharon- sharon!

 

[gandalf smiles]

 

elrond- alright, i’ll do that.

sharon- thanx!

 

[sharon sits back down on her seat]

 

[boromir starts talking]

 

[he walks up to the ring, and tries to touch it]

 

elrond and gandalf- boromir!

 

[gandalf says the black speech]

 

boromir- it is a gift.

 

[gandalf ‘s about to say something]

 

sharon- [tells gandalf] let me take this! [yells at boromir]  don’t you get it! it’s bad! it’s evil! get it evil! e-v-i-l! which of those letters don’t you understand! you freakin’ dumbass. i’m gunna sit, right now..and don’t think about talking...cuz i ain’t done with you.

 

[sharon sits back down, then yells more at boromir]

 

[katie and elysa hiding behind some pillars]

 

elysa- what a major ass! wouldn’t he know that.

katie- i dunno! sharon’s even smarter than him. and that’s something new.

 

[maryann is also hiding]

 

maryann- he’s trying to be a smart-ass. [sharon still yelling at boromir at the coucil] fuckin’ dumbass, doesn’t he know anything.

 

[maryann looks at the bush next to her, the bush shakes]

 

[back to the council]

 

boromir- [shakes head] a gift to the foes of mordor. why not use this ring? [paces]  long has my father, the steward of gondor, kept the forces of mordor at bay. by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! give gondor the weapon of the enemy. let us use it against him!

strider- you cannot wield it! none of us can. the one ring answers to sauron alone. it has no other master.

boromir- and what would a ranger know of this matter?

 

[legolas butts in]

 

legolas- this is no mere ranger. he is aragorn, son of arathorn. you owe him your allegiance.

boromir- aragorn? this is isildur’s heir?

legolas- and heir to the throne of gondor

aragorn- [speaking in elvish] sit down, legolas

 

sharon- [whispering] hey gandalf! who’s that?

gandalf- [whispering] that is legolas, he’s an elf from mirkwood.

sharon- [whispering] oh!...gandalf, listen!

 

boromir- gondor has no king. gondor needs no king.

 

[boromir returns to his seat]

 

gandalf- aragorn is right. we cannot use it.

elrond- you have only one choice. the ring must be destroyed.

gimli- then what are we waiting for?

 

[gimli gets up and hits the ring with his axe]

 

[sharon having a really bad headache because of that hit]

 

[gimli’s axe is broken]

 

[the ring whispers]

 

elrond- the ring cannot be destroyed, gimli, son of gloin by any craft that we here possess. the ring was made in the fires of mount doom. only there where it can be unmade. it must be taken deep into mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came.

 

[the ring whispers]

 

elrond- one of you must do this.

 

[everybody gets quiet]

 

boromir- one does not simply walk into mordor. its black gates are guarded more than just orcs. there is evil there that does not sleep. and the great eye is ever watchful. it is a barren wasteland. riddled with fire and ash and dust. the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. not with ten thousand men could you do this. it is folly!

 

[legolas stands up angry]

 

legolas- have heard nothing lord elrond has said? the ring must be destroyed!

 

[gimli leaps to his feet]

 

gimli- and i suppose you think you’re the one to do it?

 

[boromir rises from his seat]

 

boromir- and if we fail, what then?! what happens when sauron takes back what is his?!

gimli- i will be dead before i see the ring in the hands of an elf!

 

[everybody argues with each other]

 

[sharon remains seated, watching everyone argue]

 

[flames flare up, engulfing the surface of the ring]

 

[sharon stands up and walks towards the council]

 

sharon- i will take the ring to mordor!

 

[no one listens to her]

 

sharon- damnit people! i an talking here!

 

[gandalf turns around to sharon, and everybody goes quiet]

 

sharon- i will take the ring to mordor! but i have no idea where the hell it is.

 

[gandalf walks towards sharon]

 

gandalf- i will help you bear this burden, so long as it is yours to bear.

 

[aragorn rises from his seat]

 

aragorn- if by my life or death, i can protect you, i will. [kneels before sharon] you have my sword.

legolas- and you have my bow

 

[legolas joins them]

 

gimli- and my axe

 

[looks grimly at legolas as he joins them]

 

[boromir walks towards the group]

 

boromir- you carry the fates of us all, little one. if this is indeed the will of the council, then gondor will see it done.

maryann- heh! [she jumps from behind the bushes and joins them] sharon, is hella not goin’ anywhere with out me!...ok!

elrond- no indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you, even when she is summoned to a secret council and you are not.

 

[katie and elysa emerge from the behind the pillars to join them]

 

elysa- wait!

katie- we’re coming too!

elysa- we don’t want to stay here...don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and all... but no!

katie- anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing!

elysa- well, that totally rules you out! [laughs]

elrond- nine companions...

 

[elysa stops laughing]

 

elrond- so be it! you shall be the fellowship of the ring!

katie- great! where are we going?

 

[sharon slaps katie upside her head]

 

elysa- omigod! you’re going, and you have no idea.

maryann- you are useless...

 

[katie’s pissed off]

 

maryann- damn chick...you know i’m just kidding!

 

SCENE 6

 

[aragorn’s  hand traces runes on a pale slab of stone, nestled in the deep forests of rivendell]

 

[aragorn’s hand reaches out, pulling a clump of moss from the grove of a letter, wiping leaf-litter and mud from an edge of the stone, pulling free entwining branches gathering over the smooth, stony hands of a statue]

 

[aragorn, kneeling, lifts his head]

 

[he gazes into the solemn eyes of the statue, a woman in a cloak and hood]

 

[aragorn touches her face. a voice speaks]

 

voice from the distance- [elvish speaking] she wanted to protect her child. she thought that in rivendell you would be safe.

 

[elrond appears]

 

elrond- in her heart , your mother knew you’d be hunted all your life. that you’d never escape your fate. the skill of the elves can reforge the sword of kings, but only you have the power to wield it.

 

[aragorn looks up uncertainly]

 

aragorn- i do not want that power. i have never wanted it.

elrond- you are the last of that bloodline. there is no other.

 

SCENE 7

 

[on a bedside table, a hand folds back a homespun cloth to reveal a short sword in a scabbard]

 

[bilbo picks it up and hands it to sharon]

 

bilbo- my old sword, sting! take it! take it!

 

[sharon unsheathes the sword and examines it]

 

sharon- it’s so light. i love it already.

bilbo- yes...made by the elves, you know. the blade glows blue when orcs are close. and its times like that, when you have to be extra careful.

sharon- great i love it.

bilbo- what should i call you, frodina or sharon?

sharon- i’ll really don’t care...but i respond more to sharon, though. thanx for asking.

 

[sharon was about to leave]

 

bilbo- wait!

 

[bilbo brings out a mail shirt]

 

bilbo- here’s a pretty thing... mithril! as light as a feather...and as hard as dragon scales! let me see you put it on. come on!

 

[sharon unbuttons her shirt]

 

[the ring is revealed]

 

bilbo- oh... m-my old ring! oh, i sh-should very much like to hold it , one last time.

 

[sharon buttons her shirt backup]

 

[bilbo smiles faintly in an almost grandfatherly manner]

 

[suddenly, transformed by the power of the ring, he lashes out]

 

[his eyes grow round, ringed in purple shadows, his teeth are like yellowed fangs in his mouth, stretched open wide as he utters a strangled cry]

 

[sharon, startled, backs away, clutching her hand over the ring]

 

[bilbo’s eye show surprise at his transformation. he cowers back, his voice strained]

 

bilbo- i’m sorry, i brought this upon you...i’m sorry that you must carry this burden.

sharon- i really don’t care...what you just did was freakin’ cool...even though it did freak me out a little...but oh well.

 

[maryann comes in]

 

maryann- yo, sha! we’re going now!

sharon- ok! i’ll be right there.

 

[maryann leaves]

[sharon places a reassuring hand on bilbo’s shoulder]

 

[bilbo reaches back and puts his own hand on sharon’s hand]

 

SCENE 8

 

[in a glade beneath an old stone arch, the Fellowship gathers to bid farewell to rivendell]

 

[elrond speaks to them, gazing sternly at the faces before him]

 

[sharon stands, listening, slightly apart from the others: leaves flutter to the earth]

elrond- the ring-bearer is setting out on the quest of mount doom. on you who travel with her no oath nor bond is laid, to go further than you will. farewell. hold to your purpose. may the blessings of elves and men and all free folk go with you.

[elrond spreads his arms, and legolas and aragorn bow their heads, hands upon hearts]

gandalf-the fellowship awaits the ring-bearer.

[sharon, turns and walks forward, uncertainly. before her, the path winds away to either side]

sharon- [whispering softly to gandalf] ummm... which way is it?
gandalf- left.

[the fellowship departs beneath an old arch of lichen-encrusted stone]

 

[aragorn remains where he stands, and turns to arwen]

 

[across the path between them they gaze into one another’s eyes]

 

[arwen‘s face is sorrowful; Aragorn smiles faintly, and nods a farewell]

 

[he walks out]

 

[arwen breaks off her gaze, looking down; solemn, alone]

  

[the fellowship departs from rivendell as the sun‘s rays pierce the valley]

ACT V

 

SCENE 1

 

[they travel through the woods]

 

sharon- dude, i’m bored, are you guys?!

maryann- hell yeah!

elysa- you better believe it!

katie- yup!

 

[sharon searches for something in her backpack]

 

[she finds her cd player]

 

[she puts them on]

 

maryann- [tells the others] hey guys, that’s a good idea.

 

[maryann and the others do the same thing]

 

[someone taps on sharon’s shoulder]

 

sharon- [turns around] whoa!...legolas, you scared me there for a moment.

legolas- i’m sorry..may i ask you a question?

sharon- alright. what is it?

legolas- what is that on your head?

sharon- oh this? [touches her headphones] these are my headphones... here!

 

[sharon puts her headphones on legolas’s head]

 

legolas- nice...really nice.

 

[legolas listens to it some more]

 

[then they traveled over open plains and hillsides]

 

sharon- [thinking] omigod, he’s been listening to that forever.

maryann- yo! sha!

sharon- what!

maryann- come here!

sharon- oh alright.

 

[sharon walks to maryann and the others]

 

maryann- dude, that dude has been listening to your cd player for a while now.

sharon- i know....

 

[katie hollers at sharon]

 

sharon- [tells maryann] i’ll be right back.

 

[sharon walks towards katie]

 

sharon- what do you want?

katie- want to make a bet?

sharon- depends?!

katie- ok... let’s see who would kiss him [points at legolas] first.

sharon- that’s it. how ‘bout if one lost the bet?

katie- then that person does the person’s homework for two weeks.

sharon- you’re on.

 

[legolas looks shocked]

 

[legolas goes up to sharon]

 

legolas- may i speak with you?

sharon- yea sure?!

 

[legolas and sharon walk towards the back]

 

sharon- what’s wrong?

legolas- something happened to this.

 

[legolas gives sharon back her cd player]

 

sharon- let me see.

 

[sharon turns on her cd player]

 

sharon- oh... [looks at legolas] there’s nothing wrong with it...it just needs new batteries. i’ll let you borrow it later.

legolas- alright!

 

SCENE 2

 

[they rest on a hill in the wild]

 

gandalf- we must hold this course west of the misty mountains for forty days. if our luck holds, the gap of rohan will still be open to us. from there our road turns east to mordor.

 

[maryann cooks sausage and other food over a fire, climbing up onto a rock besides sharon]

 

[the fellowship is resting on an outstretched arm of the mountains]

[boromir spares his time with elysa and katie, tutoring them on sword fighting]

 

[boromir practices  with katie]

 

boromir- [to each move of the sword] two, one, five. good. very good.

 

[aragorn sits nearby, smoking a pipe. he speaks encouragement]

aragorn- move your feet!
elysa- you look good, kate.
katie- thanks.
boromir- faster!

 

gimli- if anyone was to ask for my opinion, which i note they’re not, i’d say we were taking the long way round. gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of moria. my cousin, balin, would give us a royal welcome

[gandalf takes a pipe he was smoking from his mouth]

 

[faint surprise registers in the old wizard’s eyes]

gandalf- no gimli, i would not take the road through moria unless i had no other choice.

[legolas notices something amiss and looks intently towards the South]

 

[gimli approaches gandalf]

 

[meanwhile, boromir continues to fight katie]

boromir- come on. good.

 

[boromir accidentally nicks katie’s hand]

katie-[in pain] aaaah...you hit me! you’re gunna pay!
boromir- sorry!

katie- sure ...you are?!

[katie kicks boromir on the shin]

boromir- ahh!
elysa- get him!

[as the “hobbits” jump boromir, maryann and sharon are sitting watching]

 

maryann- hey i’m gunna join them...let’s see who will win.

 

[maryann helps katie and elysa]

 

[boromir goes down in a mock battle]

 

[boromir and aragorn laugh with the “hobbits”]

katie- for the little people! hold him! hold him down! hey guys!

[aragorn walks over to them]

aragorn- ladies, that's enough.

[he lays a hand on elysa’s shoulder]

 

[katie and maryann grab his legs, pulling him down on his back]

katie- he’s got my arm…[yells at boromir or aragorn] let go of my arm!

[legolas continues to look to the south, where a strange cloud has appeared]

 

[maryann  takes notice of legolas’s observation.]

maryann- what is that?

gimli- nothing, just a wisp of cloud.

boromir- [getting up from ground] it’s moving fast...against the wind.

legolas- crebain from dunland!

aragorn- hide!

boromir- hurry!

 

[aragorn rushes around, getting the fellowship out of sight]

[the fellowship scrambles to gather their things, and maryann puts out the fire]

 

[they hide behind rock outcroppings and under bushes]

 

[they wait]

 

[in a burst of darkness against the light of day, a flock of black birds rushes overhead, cawing loudly. they circle the hill, then turn and fly back southward]

[the fellowship comes out from hiding]

gandalf- spies of saruman! the passage south is being watched. we must take the pass of caradhras.

[he turns, looking up at a great, snowy mountain on high]

 

SCENE 3

 

[the fellowship climbs the snowy slopes of caradhras]

 

[they climb through the glistening, fresh snow beneath the great blue sky]

 

[sharon looses her footing and falls, rolling down the slope towards aragorn]

[maryann, elysa, and katie laugh]

 

legolas- that was not a laughing matter.

maryann- oh yes it was. [laughs some more]

 

[aragorn helps sharon up]

 

[sharon looks for the ring that suppose to be hanging from the neck...it’s gone]

 

[boromir sees the ring laying in the snow and he picks it up]

 

aragorn- [quietly] boromir.

 

[boromir is hypnotized by the ring]

 

sharon- [yelling at boromir] hello! that’s my ring you’re holding!

boromir- [speaking softly] it is a strange fate, we should suffer so much fear and doubt...over so small of a thing. such a little thing.

aragorn- boromir!

 

[boromir looks up, pulled from his trance]

 

aragorn- give the ring to sharon.

 

[sharon hand is out waiting for the ring]

 

[boromir walks slowly down the slope to the aragorn and sharon]

 

[aragorn’s hand is on the hilt of his sword]

boromir- [holds out the ring] as you wish.

[sharon does not wait, and snatches the ring sharply, a tormented expression on his face]

boromir- i care not.

[boromir jokingly tousles sharon’s hair]

 

sharon- don’t you ever dare touch my hair ever again! if you do...your ass is mine!

 

[boromir turns to resume climbing]

 

[sharon looks on suspiciously; aragorn releases his grip from his sword]

 

SCENE 4

 

[over isengard there is a veiling shadow]

 

[the crows fly down through a maze of underground workings, past orcs laboring]

 

[they circle around, cawing]

 

[saruman stands by, hearing the news they have to tell him]

saruman- so, gandalf, you try to lead them over caradhras. and if that fails, where then will you go? if the mountain defeats you, will you risk a more dangerous road?

 

SCENE 5

[gandalf’s staff drives into the snow, forging a way through a growing blizzard as Gandalf guides the fellowship along a narrow ledge on the pass]

[as the fellowship labors onwards through the high snow banks]

 

[legolas runs out ahead. his step is light and he moves with ease across the top of the snow, staring into the blinding storm]

 

[he hears and senses a cruel voice that rises on the wind]

voice- [chanting in a different language] wake up cruel redhorn! may your horn be bloodstained!
legolas- there is a fell voice on the air!
gandalf- it’s saruman!

[with a rending echo, a horde of rock slabs and boulders falls from the mountain‘s arms]

 

[the fellowship shove themselves flat against the sheer cliff wall to avoid the onslaught of stone]

aragorn- [yelling through the storm] he’s trying to bring down the mountain! gandalf, we must turn back!
gandalf- no!

[with determination against all odds, gandalf steps out onto the ledge, rising on the snow, chanting out a counter command to caradhras]

 

[the old wizard’s voice bellows into the air, attempting to calm the rage of the mountain]

gandalf- [speaking a different language] sleep, caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!

[the wizard’s voice is drowned out by a more terrible cry in the maelstrom]

 

[saruman stands on the pinnacle of orthanc and continues to command caradhras, eliciting the mountain‘s anger]

 

[away above him where he stands, a great black wall-cloud towers over redhorn]

saruman- {speaking in a different language] wake up cruel redhorn! may your bloodstained horn fall upon enemy heads!

 

[lightning strikes the tip of caradhras, sending a second avalanche of sheer white ice onto the fellowship below]

 

[as the storm of snow falls, gandalf continues to command the mountain, to no avail]

 

[legolas snatches gandalf from the edge, pulling him against the cliff just before the ice-fall hits]

 

[gandalf accidentally pushes legolas to his right]

 

[and aragorn lost his grip on sharon]

 

[sharon got pushed to her left]

 

[then “boom” legolas and sharon kiss]

 

[sharon opens her eyes, looks at legolas, then looks up, and she screams]

 

[then the avalanche cascades over the fellowship, and snow buries them completely]

 

[after a moment, they emerge out from the snow]

boromir- we must get off the mountain! make for the gap of rohan and take the west road to my city!
aragorn- the gap of rohan takes us too close to isengard!
gimli- if we cannot pass over the mountain, let us go under it. let us go through the mines of moria.

[in gandalf’s eyes there is a shadow of doubt, of fear that lies unsaid. he is conflicted]

[gandalf has a flasback]

saruman- moria…you fear to go into those mines.

[saruman sits in his study in orthanc, reading a page in a book of lore written in a strange tongue]

saruman- the dwarves delved too greedily and too deep.

[returns to reality]

[on caradhras, gandalf‘s eyes glint, fearful]

[then back to the flashback]

saruman- you know what they awoke in the darkness of khazad-dûm:

[saruman turns to another page, revealing a mysterious form drawn as blackness and deep fire, with two sparks in the midst of the flame and dark, like eyes]

saruman- shadow and flame!

[return to reality]

 

gandalf- let  the ring- bearer decide.

 

[boromir shouts through the snowstorm, holding elysa and katie to him. both of the “hobbits” are cold and extremely pale looking]

 

boromir- we cannot stay here! this would be the death of the hobbits!

gandalf- sharon?

sharon- i don’t want to stay here for one second longer. we’re going to the mines of moria. sorry gandalf.

gandalf- so be it!

 

[the fellowship leave caradhras]

 

maryann- [tired] how long is it to get there?

gimli- one more day.

katie- yea...are you sure?

gimli- yes.

elysa- ok...i think i could walk for one more day.

 

[sharon walks in the front with gandalf]

 

sharon- sorry!

gandalf- what for?

sharon- cuz, it seems like that you didn’t want to come here.

gandalf- well, it was your decision.

sharon- ok!

 

[the next day]

 

maryann- come on, how long now?

gimli- one more mile!

maryann- ok...i’m fine with that! [whispers] damn, i’m tired...he better be right.

 

[the fellowship enters a rocky area]