| Scene 5 |
| ( Next scene - Pretty darn near the ford. They�re a mile away.) Frodo: (Falls off horse) No...woe is me...I can�t make it...you must go without me.... Merry: Get up woundy! Frodo:( Stands upright very quickly) Look here you daft Brandybuck! If you ever call me that name again I�ll....( notices everyone knows he�s faking it, falls down again) Oh! More woe! Pity pity pity! So near to sanctity, and yet so far... (Arwen pops out of some nearby trees,near her horse, wearing only her underwear. Runs up to Aragorn and hugs him...) Aragorn: Uh...sweetheart...I�m a bit busy here...(points at hobbits) Arwen: Awwww! Little men! Are they for me? Merry + Pippin: YES!! Aragorn: Shut up (Turns back to Arwen, puts on nice friendly face) Now, sweetie, I need you to take (picks up Frodo by the ears) this little man here to your house. He�s wounded. Arwen: (Cuddles Frodo. Frodo obviously gets very excited) Aww! You poor ickle thing! Are you going to come to my house wiv me? Frodo: Uh ye...if you�ll tend to my wounds... (Other Hobbits fall on ground and writhe in fake pain) Other Hobbits: Ooooh...the pain...the pain Frodo: You lot aren�t wounded! Merry: Oh yes we are! Take pity on us elf-maiden! Tend to our wounds! (Aragorn boots them all down again. Turns to Arwen) Aragorn: Now dearie there are some nasty strange men looking for this little man..take care of him okay? (Kisses her) (Arwen gets on her horse, pulls a practically ecstatic Frodo up with her) Arwen: Okay! Bye bye! (Other hobbits melt in sheer bliss. Wraiths come out of trees) One: Ha ha! We�ve got them now! Three: Yeah, and the ring bearer is being guarded by a flimsy bimbo elven-maid.... Seven: Phwoar! Look at the size of her....horse... One: Shut up lads! We�ll rape her after we get the ring, okay? Two: Charge! (Wraiths all charge forward, chasing after Arwen.) One: (Shouts) Hello sweetheart! Can we just stop you for a minute? Arwen: No! You�re the strange nasty men my Aragorn told me about! One: Us? Nasty? Noooooooo! (They all reach the ford. Arwen crosses. Wraith�s stay) |
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