The soda you drink I will never taste, cause if i did i'd be sober like you. But your my enemy, and soon your gonna see. You gotta drink the ale to be happy, cause you're not.. You're not!

Fuct up elfies in my head, I'ma fuct up hobbit its what they said. But at least I know how much ale that I want, Its all the ale I've got.

Cause you're so quick to not drink my ale, you act like you dont need it, but you do. Cause it feels good when you are very drunk. It makes you laugh at stupid things and kiss an orc but you wont... You won't!

Fuct up elfies in my head, I'ma fuct up hobbit its what they said. But at least I know how much ale that I want, Its all the ale I've got.

You act as if you drank my ale, but i know that you wont drink my ale. Cause being drunk is what you fear the most, and now the hangovers are getting close. And the hangovers are getting close, and the hangovers are getting close...

Fuct up elfies in my head, I'ma fuct up hobbit its what they said. But at least I know how much ale that I want, Its all the ale I've got. [repeat till end]

"The Story of Bilbo Baggins" as sung by Bilbo to Frodo in Hobbiton. Sung to "In Too Deep" by Sum 41

The faster we're falling, we're also stubbling and rolling. We're running through the woods again. Just as things were looking up I got chased by a slimy thing, just cause i stole his ring.

Maybe we're just eating too much, when really theres not enough to go around. Cause I like to eat and I'm trying to keep the mushrooms in my mouth, instead of having cram [repeat once]

Seems like each time, I eat I loose my mind because the dwarves eat all the food. The dwarves they always complain and while they're driving me insane I feel hungery yet again.

Maybe we're just eating too much, when really theres not enough to go around. Cause I like to eat and I'm trying to keep the mushrooms in my mouth, instead of having cram [repeat once]

I cant sit back and wonder why, it took so long for Smaug to die. And i ate 'im, the dwarves ate 'im. We cant fight it we're really getting hungery. So believe me, its not easy when all you got is cram!

Maybe we're just eating too much, when really theres not enough to go around. Cause I like to eat and I'm trying to keep the mushrooms in my mouth, instead of having cram. [repeat till end]

"G.O.L.L.U.M. [GOL to the LUM]" Gollum's own personal freestyle rap song thingy!

Yo yo yo I'm Gollum yo
I like to eat fish and my precious
I got big feet and no hair
got my bling-bling and my loin cloth

Nasty Hobbit!
[uh yeah!]
Nasty Hobbit!
[fo' sho!]

Nasty Hobbitses took the bling bling away
I like to eat fish the raw way
I use to put on my bling and eat some children
then i'd go watch x-rated wo-oh-men!

Nasty Hobbit!
[uh yeah!]
Nasty Hobbit!
[fo' sho!]