 crazy interactive therapy
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| crazy interactive therapy
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| menu mental humor
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| You
might be crazy if... * The sun is too loud. * You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. * You can hear mimes. * You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * Things become "Very Clear." * You ask the drive-through attendant if you can get your order to go. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chandeliers can understand. * You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!" even though you are the only one in the room. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * You and Reality file for divorce. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * You can skip without a rope. * It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * You can travel without moving. * Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition. * You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies. * You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to. * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. * Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend. * Trees begin to chase you. * You can see individual air molecules vibrating. * You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso * You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. * The less sense matter and matter is more than sense. * Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
Lightbulb Two analysts pass each
other in the hall. One says, "Hello." |
Welcome
to the Psychiatric Hotline Dialing Instructions: If you ar obsessive-comuplsive, please press 1...repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are a paranoid-delusional, there is no need to press anything. We already know who you are and what you want. If you are schizophrenic, listen very carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it dosen't matter what number you press. No one will answer you. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off you ear! Two psychologists
meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them
looks like he just graduated, while the other
psychologist looks old and withered. The older looking
one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening
to other people's problems every day, all day long, for
years on end has made an old man of me." I see you were last
employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to
the applicant. "Why did you leave?" A young coed took her
troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help
me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every
time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. Then
afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." A Stanford research group
advertised for participants in a study of
obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for
therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000
responses about three days after the ad came out. All
from the same person. Neurotics build castles in
the sky. Roses are red |
I've always been a hypochondriac. As
a little boy, I'd eat my M&M's one by one with a
glass of water. "Doctor, Doctor" Jokes Doctor, doctor, I keep
thinking I am a set of curtains! |
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