Guilty Conscience
Man: Meet Eddie. 23 years old. Fed up with life and
the way things are going, he decides to rob a (I can't take this
anymore, I can't take this anymore) liquor store
But on his way in, he has a sudden
change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
Dre: Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door
Of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (Who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin' conscience
M&M: That's nonsense. Go in gather the money
And run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress and one of her blond wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs
With Renee's razor blades
Dre: Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns
M&M: Fuck dat, Do that shit, Shoot that bitch
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
Dre: Man don't do it. It's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biz, kid (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
M&M: You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude...*scratched out*
Man: *conversation in background*
Meet Stan. 21 years old. After meeting a young girl
at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in
an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his consciencecomes into play...
M&M: Now listen to me, while you're kissin' her cheek
Or smearin' her lipstick, slip this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe...
Dre: Yo! This girl's only 15 years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair
M&M: Yo, look at her bush, does it got hair? (Uh-huh)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there..
Dre: Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?
M&M: No, but I seen a porno with Son Doobiest!
Dre: Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?
M&M: Yeah fuck that, hit that chick raw-dog and bail...*scratched out*
Man: Meet Brady. A 29 year old construction worker. *footsteps
on gravel* After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home to
find his wife in bed with another man. *moaning* (What the fuck?)Dre: Alright calm down, relax, start breathin...
M&M: Fuck dat shit you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin' to get off?!?!
Fuck slittin' her throat! CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!Dre: Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit?
M&M: What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?
Dre: Shit, alright Shady. Maybe he's right Brady.
But think about the baby before you get all crazy.
M&M: Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get the daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody that slapped DEE BARNES?!?!Dre: What you say?
M&M: What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?
Dre: I'ma kill you motherfucker!
M&M: Uh-Uh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. A-K comin' Straight Outta Compton Y'all Better Make Way??!
How in the fuck you gon' tell this man not to be violent?
Dre: Cuz he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there done that... *shotgun cocks* aw fuck it...
What am I sayin'? Shoot 'em both Brady, where's your gun at?
BANG! *cocks* BANG!
The Real Slim Shady {intro}
May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...{verse 1}
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin her ass worst than before
they first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
"Awww wait, no way, your kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr Dre said...
Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women loved Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though)
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let Loose,
but can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
And if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss"
And that's the messege we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a women's *vagina* is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals
who *rip* other people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope (ughh)
But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus
And it gooooesss(Refrain)
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the Real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
{verse 2}
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
(but Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?)
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
s--- Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first
Little *bitch* put me on blast on MTV
(yea hes cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe)
I should download a audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem *head* (scream)
I'm sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I been sent in here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a *f---* like me
Who dress like me
Walk, Talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me(Refrain)
{verse 3}
I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it In front of ya'll
And I don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
Wheather you like to admit it
I'm better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like
Its funny cuz the rate im going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm *hard* jerkin I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Were in the parking lot circling
screaming I don't give a *f---*
With his windows down and system up
So will the Real Shady, please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?(Refrain)
My name is *Refrain* (2X)
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. Slim Shady
Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second?Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "Then why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! "Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!"
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!*Refrain*
My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Ooowwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wusshhh)
Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh, thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (aah!) (Aaahhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'*Refrain*
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate! *erie music plays briefly*
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka; dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (c'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (Bang!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrhhh!) And by the way, when you see my dad? (Yes?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had*Refrain*