I can't help but wonder, Brad: WHY haven't you ever tried being in show business? When we were in the 3rd or 4th grade, I'd requested your autograph, quite a few times, as I was certain that you would one day be a star! You were always so funny, clever; you could sing, write and tell jokes; you wrote splendid, original, funny essays--and of course, were always an A+ student.
In 1990, I'd called your dad, to ask about you, and he'd given me your phone number and whereabouts, then, but I'd been too shy to call. He HAD told me that you'd tried to be lawyer, but hadn't liked it, so [ then ] worked for a bank. He'd seemed surprised to hear that you were so funny and clever in school; that quite a few had expected you to make a public career.
So why DIDN'T you?
I'm expecting you to pop up on a reality TV show, any time now--but you are WAY overdue! How come you haven't been on, yet--unless I missed it??
[ By the way, Brad, do not worry that I'm trying to locate you to marry you; you always had acted too upset at any notion of us getting together. Besides, I'm sure that you are already married--or I'd have seen you on "The Bachelor," by this time. :) ]