I can’t help who I am, and I accept who I am. I am a slave, bound in life by the chains that define me, but not humiliated by it. Without my kind there would be nothing, it is us who builds many of your houses, us who fetched and made much of what you wear eat and drink. My father is the leader of the enslavement I am in, Lord Scoros Na Corinth. I won’t lie to you, he raped my mother plain and simple, I was the product of this. I wore hand shackles like the rest of the slaves when I came of age to receive them, though he deemed my feet need not be hindered by such. I was given an easy life, a performer. As a little girl, my father would steal me away from my mother and take me to see all sorts of shows in towns we passed. When I told him I wanted to be one of the dancers he took me to see, he deemed it would be so.
I learned from many of the people we passed by, my father hired a few teachers to teach me many sorts of dancing. I was found to have a nightingales voice as they say, when I was thirteen at the obelisk after the priestesses disappeared. I was singing along with a little blue bird, my father astounded, let me take that up as well. I was raised like a lady, though by law, my blood bound me to wear chains. My mother was made a “show” when I was 16, the guards slung her upside down on a cross, slit her wrists and set her wrists in water. She bled to death that way, slowly, painfully. I was made to watch; they told me that I would end up that way if I ever did what my mother did. My mother, always helped slaves escape, gave them food and clothing and told them the best routes to take. I remember, when father returned to find out they had put my mother to the death for disobedience, he was furious but all in all, the rules were the rules. I wept for my mother for days on end. She was the most beautiful, caring and loved person I knew. We made her a gravestone; slaves never get gravestones, and buried her body.
We marked the gravestone:
" Matha Ne’Calagh, her love shall live on in her children, the remembrance of her smile shall make the world lighter, shall make the birds sing happier and make the darkness fade from the hearts who knew her".
I always honoured that stone; I never let my pain and anger towards the guards hinder my duties. I became what my mother was, a loving nurturing person. I was used often by the guards for favours. Slipping children away from the camps, getting them a home here and there. I made it my life to help others, share what I had and bring them happiness. I kept my own stillness and sadness at bay, never let anything out. When I was 21, I met an astounding little girl, named Radwan. I knew the name well; she was my niece though I never told her. Her name itself meant “ Delight”. She had run into me and knocked us over, scraping her knee badly. I tended to her knee in a guards tent, caring for her as much as possible and trying to keep her calm. She was crying, she was only about 10 at the time. I sang to her, the song her mother used to sing to her “ Marionette”. I helped her from then on, she became a guard in training, and became to me like a daughter. I was lost in a world of people, seas of people asking for my help, me willingly giving it. It was the happiest times of my life, when my father was around at least. I loved to perform for people; sing and dance show off my talents. I guess at heart I’m a pure woman. Love attention. Love to nurture. Radwan came to me one night, she had freed herself somewhat of her chains, she only bore the shackles. I refused to go with her; I had to stay behind and cover long enough for her escape a good distance, so she'd have a chance.
I remember when I was 18, I had the chance to escape, to make for another place, but I stayed. Remembering my mothers sacrifice, remembering how she excepted what she was and said never to run from it but face it. If I had run, I would have left behind the best part of my life, the people I met.Freedom is a beautiful fairy tale, but thats all it is for most of us... a fairy tale. If we had such things, such things as freedom, what would we do with it? Where we go, and how would we obtain food, water, shelter? It's a lot more complicated than anyone knows.
