Stamp
A band playing on a stage. It's either a loony bin or an old folks' home. Or a prison. The crowd is throwing food. Food fight! Nice pompadour on the lead singer. The bald guy thinks he's a Mighty Mighty Bosstone. This is a wild cafeteria. He's singing "will you eat my box while I work." Oh, I get it. Back to class, kids.
Kimmie Rhodes
It'll Do
Middle-aged trailer trash chicks on vacation in Hawaii or at least eating lunch at Hula Hut. The old dude is asleep at the bar. Some loser is playing shuffleboard. Oh, it's a redneck family restaurant/bar. It'll do. Some guy in a poncho and a cheap straw cowboy hat is playing guitar while a guy in the crowd plays air guitar. His gal has a "Lil Hunka Heaven" shirt and she be huge. I think I blacked out in this bar one night. It's the big chick's birthday. Poncho gave the waitress a rose. I think he's getting laid tonight. Cool! She sang about Prairie Dog Town. I've been there. I like this song. Dominoes and Lone Star longnecks. I do remember this place.
Butthole Surfers
Underdog
Gibby is the teacher and he is a strict grader. The high school band is playing and Gibby is in the parade. Lots of flag waving. This is from one of those albums of Saturday morning cartoon themes. King Coffey looks like Drew Carey. I think Gibby likes himself. Where is Ponch? Guess he had all the "Pepper" he could stand and didn't make it to the homecoming parade. Flag twirlers. I've had a few fantasies about them. Rocking, and it doesn't sound the least bit like Beck. A cameo appearance by Drew Barrymore talking about Underdog's poop. Deep.
Dino Lee and His White Trash Revue
Ultimately Bored
This is an old concert video. Dino has the largest hair of any known mammal. He remains a one-hit wonder in waiting. If Elvis wore mascara this would be him. He's got a row of chicks in lingerie dancing, but the lighting on them is bad. One of them is huge. Doesn't she write for the Austin Chronicle? Fortunately somebody's head is blocking a lot of her. I think that's Pony Bone on the accordion. Wonder where this concert was?
Will & The Kill
Heart of Steel
Will Sexton really wanted to be like big brother Charlie back then. Even got that spiky long 80s haircut. He's got a cool car. Stopping and having a beer with the homeboys. Wearing a cool cowboy hat with a heavy chain around the brim. Too much concert footage. Is that the Flock of Seagulls guy? I bet his parents are embarrassed. Lame video, but he does walk on the Town Lake Hike and Bike Trail in the end wearing clothes he borrowed from Stevie Ray.
The Lucky Strikes
One More Thing
Is this Sinatra? Nah, but it does swing, baby. Nice shadow shots. This guy proves that most dudes join bands to meet women. He'd never get near this doe-eyed blonde outside of a video. Great song.
Superego
No Way To Know
Some guy playing with his dog outside the Holly Power Plant. Good grainy video. This is that make-it-look-like-a-home-movie school of video. They're playing at a kid's birthday party. Mutton chops and goatees everywhere. The super-8 video is skipping. How arty. The birthday kids are throwing cake at the band. This symbolizes pretentious art school dropouts. Now we see a bunch of teevees in a field. We see ourselves in them and want to cry like little girls.
Lyle Lovett
Penguins
A chick walks down the street in Paris. It's that model whose hair changes color a lot and who's in a lot of George Michael videos. Linda Evangelista. Lots of penguins. Lyle is stalking her. A penguin is waiting in bed. She walks right past Lyle and goes into a fancy hotel. She takes a penguin out of her pocket. She gets out a penguin suit. I always heard models were kinky. A quick shot of skin as she puts the suit on. People in penguin suits jump up and down. I expect to have one odd wet dream tonight.
Rick Trevino
Dr. Time
Austin's contribution to country hat band B.S. They also use this in a local commercial for a dentist or chiropractor or something. Rick has one huge belt buckle. Lots of tight shots of his serious cocoa Garth Brooks face. I feel like I already got drunk at a country disco and puked on a guy named Elmer. His girlfriend wants to try on his hat. More fake home movie crap. His girlfriend's ghost is haunting him. But he can twirl his cowboy boot while he lip synches. Rick, have mercy on me.
La Diferenzia
Si Lo Quierres
Some guy singing in an empty movie theater. He's not on stage. Now he is. Everybody's in black. Sorry, my Spanish is rusty. But he seems sincere. Here comes the chick stage left. I think he wants her. He dropped a rose on the pavement. She ran away. He's about to cry. Her ghost is in the river. My advice--lay off the tequila when on the San Antonio River Walk.
Jimmie Vaughan
Boom-Bapa-Boom
Swing that ax, Jimmy. Must be off a movie soundtrack. They're showing Charlie Sheen pitching and there isn't a prostitute in sight. Shouldn't a movie star be able to get all he wants for free? I mean, just tell the starlets they'll get a part in the next one of your screwball comedies. Uh, well, maybe not. Somebody punched the mascot. I'm sure your dad thinks about you with pride whenever he's picketing a nuclear power plant, Charlie. Good thing Jimmie can jam, because I don't like being forced to watch even clips of this shitty movie.