First I thought it was those top-notch Lone Star celebrities like Jim J. Bullock and Dabney Coleman. Of course they are pretty amazing, but they're not what I'm referring to. It's not even the Alamo and its rich history or the natural wonder of those crazy under that bridge in Austin.
Believe it or not, what makes Texas stand out from the crowd is its larger than life grub.
You may argue that you've never even heard of, let alone tasted, the disturbing concoctions I'm about to present. Hey, cookbooks don't lie. If Trader Vic's Pacific Island Cookbook says that "Texan Sonofabitch Stew" (complete with tripe, beef cheeks, and tongues) is a crowd pleaser, then godammit, it is! The sheer volume of wonderful Texan recipes that I've unearthed is uncanny. Personally, I think the meatier the better--so here's three show-stoppers that won't fail to impress.
Meat balls are such a treat in themselves, but leave it to "Texas Meat Balls" to add that sassy crunch that could only come from corn chips. It's the unexpected zing and texture that says, "Hey mister, I'm no ordinary blob of ground beef."
1 pound ground beef
1 small onion, finely chopped (1/4 cup)
1/4 cup chopped parsley
1 egg, unbeaten
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. marjoram
fat for frying
1. Place half package of corn chips in shallow dish or pie plate; save for Step 3.
2. Combine beef, remaining corn chips, onion, parsley, egg, salt, and marjoram in medium-size bowl; toss together lightly with 2-tine fork. (Do not overmix.)
3. Shape into 24 small balls; roll in crushed corn chips in pie plate.
4. Fry meat balls over medium heat in hot fat in medium-size frying pan 5 min. or until meat is brown and cooked the way you like it. Serve with chili sauce or catsup, if desired.
Uhm, I bet you're reeling from those balls, but don't load up yet. Save some room for "Texas Wieners." Frankfurters are never a bad idea, especially when endowed with that Texas touch that apparently is bacon!
Now for the wild piece de resistance. Sure, the first two were mighty tasty, but they weren't much to look at. Maybe you have a finicky eater in your life or perhaps you just have a nostalgic urge to play with your food. Wait no more, it's "Cowboy Wiener" to the rescue! It's not only nutritious, but serves as an engaging conversation piece as well.
2. Make face of cloves in other end of wiener.
3. For hat, place end of pickle on a carrot slice and attach to head of cowboy with toothpick.
4. Insert colored toothpicks for arms.
5. Use lone wiener bun horse.
6. Slit a half (regular or extra large) wiener and attach cut end to end of bun to make head of horse.
7. Make ears for horse with small pieces of pickle and attach with toothpicks. Use parsley for tail.
8. Set wiener cowboy astride the horse.
There you have it, three simple ways to satisfy the creative carnivore in you. Once you've had a taste of Texas you'll understand that there's no going back.
