SH: Oh, OK, so I�m in London with Billy Bragg who I totally worship and adore and think he�s a genius. We�re playing on stage New Year�s Eve for a bunch of London people who don�t understand anything I�ve said or done, I guess because I�m from Texas. For some reason the English language has a barrier between here and England. Anyway, I�m on stage playing electric guitar, Billy Bragg�s playing electric guitar and all of a sudden Chrissy Hynde walks out with an electric guitar. So it�s the thee of us on stage playing electric guitar. I was like EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK! And the audience was going EEEEEKKKKK! It was so cool. Everybody was screaming. Everybody except Chrissy Hynde who looks like a huge praying mantis. She�s so long and she�s as skinny as this toothpick. It�s unbelievable. She�s a genius. I was so honored.
LAIH: What are your aspirations?
SH: I just want to be on David Letterman, that�s all I want.
LAIH: Junior Brown was on last night.
SH: Really? Junior Brown�s press agent is my press agent. She also got Robert Earl Keen on Dave�s show.
LAIH: Who do you think is funny?
SH: Steven Wright. Oh, my God, I�d do him in a second. David Letterman. I�d do him in a second. I like to do men that make me laugh. If they can make me laugh, they have a pretty good chance of getting in my�bathroom. My God, I�ve had erotic dreams about David Letterman. I remember David Letterman back�he used to have this morning show. There were all these blue-haired women, and they didn�t get his humor.
LAIH: Do you like Conan O�Brien?
SH: I like Conan. I know Max Weinberg, I got to play with him once. He�s very, very nice. I feel for Conan. I think that�s a big responsibility to take on. I think he does OK. He�s got the cutting edge music.
LAIH: Do you think that Jim Carrey is funny.
SH: No. But I did think that dog in The Mask was really funny. I�d do the dog. Rosie O�Donnell used to make me laugh. I just met Phyllis Diller and she made me laugh. We were on Good Morning Texas. It was her, Domestic Science Club and Ted Nugent.
LAIH: What was Ted Nugent like?
SH: Ugh. You know when you�re jogging and you see this jogger coming at you and they take a big loogie through their nose. They go, �Snooort!� You unfortunately have to watch the whole thing. Ted Nugent is that feeling you get when the person is putting their finger up to their nose and blowing. Not even the snot coming out�you get sick and queasy. He�s just fucking lost it. He�s insane. The man is insane and he should not make music any more!
You know he else was on there? The woman who played Georgette on The Bob Newhart Show. She�s on Coach now, which is my favorite show. Oh my God, I would do Craig T. Nelson in a second. I used to watch that show and go, �Why aren�t there more men like him?� I love him, I�d do him, he makes me laugh. He�s like masculine, but when he�s with Christine he�s trying to understand her. But he�s still a guy. I love him.
LAIH: Even with the toupee?
SH: He�s wearing a toupee? I think being with a bald man in the shower would be fun because you could soap his head up. And you could get some of that foam stuff you used to get when you were a kid and make him little hats. I think next time you interview somebody you should have Funny Foam for them.
LAIH: What about Silly String?
SH: I love Silly String! When I was on tour with Eric Johnson at the end of the tour they came out and Silly Stringed the whole band. We were trying to play all of our instruments with Silly String hanging off or them.
LAIH: He�s one of our favorite guitar players.
SH: I wish he�d get that record done. Eric, if you�re reading this, come�n. Five years. Come�n. Nothing�s perfect. Even the trees. Nature isn�t perfect.
LAIH: Which song of yours is your favorite?
SH: Usually the one I just finished writing. I just finished one called �Stumble and Fall� that I really like.
LAIH: What�s the difference between you alone and with Domestic Science Club?
SH: Kind of like the difference between Frank Zappa and Tracy Chapman. Domestic Science Club is jazz-oriented, three-part harmony songs; Sara Hickman is folk-rock-pop.
LAIH: What else do you want to say?
SH: I want to say that more women should run for president. I don�t know why they don�t. I�d like to say that I don�t floss every day and I really wish I did. I�d like to say that I love Barton Springs. I go there every day. What a deal for $2. What gym could you join for $2 a day?
LAIH: Any last words?
SH: Is it over yet?