Take the quiz, enchilada breath!
a. and his cowboy sidekick Packer Jack had me on their children's cartoon show for my sixth birthday.
b. wonders why we don't come visit him in Bakersfield.
c. is made of Maui Wowie.
Last time I went to the Paramount Theatre:
a. Cactus Pryor's dad let me in for free.
b. my boss had given me free tickets to the ballet.
c. Quentin Tarantino was there.
Lake Travis:
a. is where I caught my first fish.
b. is the high school my children attend.
c. is where Hippie Hollow is.
I think it's cool when they make movies in Austin. The last one I saw them film here was:
a. "Outlaw Blues"
b. I don't know, but I wish they'd quit blocking traffic in downtown Georgetown.
c. "Dazed and Confused."
The first time I went to Raul's:
a. Punk rockers threw longnecks at me.
b. I had some dandy Mexican food.
c. I had just moved here and threw longnecks at some geek.
When I think of the University of Texas:
a. I think national championships.
b. I think they got lucky to beat Nebraska.
c. I get the shakes over unpaid student loans.
The one person who epitomizes the Austin attitude is:
a. Willie Kocurek
b. Will Wynn
c. Patty Pukke
Congratulations! If you can't figure out how to score this one, you need to commute to New York City and join a band. And remember, friends, neighbors, and pod people: Drive Friendly!
This essay originally appeared in the Austin American-Statesman. All copyright remains with the author, whose permission must be granted before all or part of it may be reprinted. Offer tons of money and we'll talk.