"WHAT AM I going to do with you?" Gabrielle asked.

"Oh...I can think of lots of stuff."

"Oh, please." Gabrielle wrung the rag out in the washbasin and returned to cleaning the blood from Joxer's face. She rubbed a little harder at the cut than need be.

Joxer closed his eyes and thrilled at the pain, a fairly dopey smile spreading across his face. He had fallen down, and now Gabrielle was pissed at him. This was familiar. This was normal. Maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be fine after all. He leaned back on the chair, making a token attempt to escape, and when it didn't work that was normal too.

"Let me see," said Xena. She pried his eyelids open, looking straight into one eye, then the other--why, he had no idea--then examined the cut with surprisingly gentle hands. "Big bump there," she said, "and messy, scalp cuts bleed all over--but nothing serious. Go to bed early, maybe rest up for a couple of days, you'll be fine."

"Good," Gabrielle said, "then you can be on diaper duty if you're going to be hanging around in here all day."

Xena clapped him on the shoulder. "Two stories onto a marble floor on your head," she said again. "Joxer, you're...unique."

"I am," he agreed happily.

"Do you remember what happened up there in the gallery?"

"Pretty much." There were a few muzzy places, but Joxer was used to having muzzy places in his brain and could navigate around them fairly easily.

"Tell me." Xena stood back and folded her arms, her face expressionless. It was the serious-Xena face, so Joxer knew he'd better be careful to tell her everything. He told her about the crowd in the gallery, named all the people he'd recognized, told her about the kids with the rice. He said how he'd seen Suleiman leave the dais, the entrance of the guards, Hassim standing before the throne, and all the times people had stood up or sat down according to the ritual. He recounted the speeches word-for-word as best he could recall, and then came the hard part. "I saw something out of the corner of my eye, someone pushing aside curtains. Glinting. I..." He took a deep breath and admitted it. "I thought it was just the kids with the rice again, and I didn't realize it was a knife until...until it was almost too late." Blew it, Joxer thought. He looked at the floor. Blew it. It should never have gotten that far. "And it was going right for Gabrielle."

"Good thing, too. That was a nice catch," Xena said to Gabrielle.

"It was nothing." Gab looked almost flustered, and turned around and fussed with the washbasin.

"Yeah, pretty good trick for a woman with only a cape. You ever think of going to Crete and becoming a bull-dancer?"

"Very funny."

Xena grinned, a pleasant, happy grin, the kind she never used unless Gabrielle was around. "Well, I'm going to stay the night in Nebula's apartments, just in case there's a follow-up attempt. Keep him in bed, and get some rest yourself--you've earned it."

"Don't worry." Gabrielle yawned. "Ninety percent of today was so boring I feel like I could sleep for a week."

"Just overnight. Suleiman will be out checking his sources tonight and he'll come meet you in the morning." Xena shouldered Eve and slung the diaper-sack over one arm. "See you tomorrow."

"Night, Xena."

"Night," Joxer said softly, not sure if he'd been forgotten and if so, not sure if it was best to remain that way. He never could tell with Xena. She left, and despite boots, baby, bag, and all, moved so silently that if he hadn't watched her close the door behind her he could never have told if she had gone.

Gabrielle wrung out the cloth again. "That was a pretty good trick," she said. "With the cape. I thought so, anyway."

"It was great."

"Okay. Great. I can live with that." She wiped at the cut, and something was missing. It took Joxer a moment to realize what--the stinging. She was being as gentle as possible, and it didn't sting. "That was a pretty good trick you did yourself," she said softly. "For a guy without a sword."

"Yeah." He thought about it. "Yeah...yeah, it was, wasn't it?"

Gabrielle dabbed gently at his face. Her eyes were not quite meeting his, but they were soft and warm and he was in danger of falling into her gaze completely. "Why didn't you mention that to Xena? It seemed like the perfect time."

"Not right now."

"She's going to wonder sooner or later."

Is she? he thought. Aloud he said, "I told you, Gabrielle. It's not a big deal. I'm fine."

Gabrielle took the cloth away and looked him straight in the eye. "Are you?"

And he couldn't look back at her. He lived for these kind of moments, and he couldn't look back at her. He looked away instead, a sudden wave of nastiness washing over him--shame, fear, bits of those dreams he hated so much--and he couldn't look back at her. Gabrielle remained crouched in front of him, and she said softly, "Okay. I'm sorry." Then in a louder, pointedly cheerful voice, she said, "Okay, time for your tea."

"Aw, Gab. Not the tea."

"The tea," she said firmly. She stood up and turned to the table, and picked up the cup. The smell made his stomach lurch even before she'd brought it around. "There you go. Drink."

Joxer glared at the evil thing. "Xena's like this big-time healer, right? So why can't she come up with a sleeping potion that doesn't smell like fermented cow dung?"

"Drink," Gabrielle said implacably.

"No way."

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice."

"I am not gonna drink that stuff. I'll go see Nebula, I bet her physicians have--"

She went for the nose grab. She hadn't done that for a long time, and he'd forgotten how fast she was. He opened his mouth to protest, and also breathe, and the next thing he knew he had a mouth full of swill. Gabrielle clamped his jaw shut with her other hand before he could spit it out. Good thing, too, cause he would have. He forced himself to swallow and then shook his head free.

"I warned you," Gabrielle said serenely, but her eyes sparkled. Joxer was going to let her have it, but the words died in his throat at the sight. How long had it been since she'd teased him like that? She'd slapped him around a bit at the Amazon village, and he could have sworn she was enjoying it--but as soon as they'd left it was back to Joxer, go away this and Joxer, don't come with us that. He wanted to say something perfect right now, something that would let her know how wonderful she was and how much he'd missed her, missed her teasing and her laughter and her conversation and her grumpiness in the morning and all of it. He had to do this, right now. He--gods, that stuff tasted awful! "Bleayh," he said.

This was probably not the right word. "Don't worry," Gabrielle said. "You'll be out like a snuffed candle soon and won't have to taste it."

"I'll taste it in my sleep." It was already taking effect, too. Joxer suspected Xena used this particular herb mix on him because it worked so fast he didn't have time to tell her exactly what he thought of it before passing out.

"Well, maybe that will teach you not to go around bumping your head all the time."

Joxer sulked. It wasn't his fault if Xena couldn't come up with a better post-head-bumping herb mix. "Fine way to treat an almost-hero," he said.

"A full hero." This surprised him. "You're the one who raised the alarm. Xena or I might not have seen the dagger in time. And you're the one who caught Khalil."

"I did, didn't I?" Joxer turned this over in his mind. He'd done it and not screwed anything up, except for having ripped the curtain. "I'm a hero," he announced. "A big hero. I want a reward."

"How about you get to go lie down and go to sleep now?" Gabrielle slung one of his arms around her shoulders and hauled him to his feet. "Come on. Big hero go beddy-bye."

"Oooh, sounds like fun."

"By himself," Gabrielle said firmly.

"That's not a reward. I wanna reward." Gabrielle helped him to his bed. His feet didn't work right. Some bad memory connected with that flashed past so quickly he couldn't see it, which he probably didn't want to see it anyhow. Gabrielle lowered him to the edge of the bed, and when he tried to get up again trapped his legs and flipped them quickly up onto the bed, forcing him onto his back. Oh well, sleep was good--and despite having the taste of that tea in his mouth for hours on end, it did keep him from having dreams. No dreams, no nightmares. But no reward. "Darn it," he said.

Gabrielle tapped him lightly on the nose. "Sleep."

"'S no fair."

"Okay. One kiss for the big hero."

Joxer froze. She was leaning over him with that sparkle in her eyes again. Teasing. Exceptionally mean teasing. He didn't care.

She lowered her head and he closed his eyes, waiting for the brush against his cheek. It didn't come. He felt her warm breath on his face, and then she kissed him. A real kiss, on the mouth. No, he was dreaming already. It was the drug. It had to be.

Because instead of kissing him quickly and moving away, she lingered, exploring his lips with her own, and he had to respond--couldn't help it--and there was the flick of her tongue? was it? and he put his hand up to her head, pulling her to him.

And that broke the spell. She pushed herself up, quickly, her eyes not meeting his. "Okay. You go to sleep now, all right?" She patted his shoulder. "Pleasant dreams, pal," she said and backed away through the curtain before his drug-dazed brain could form the words to speak. If he hadn't imagined the whole thing. Yeah, probably. Imagined the whole thing. I guess they are gonna be pleasant dreams, he thought as he slipped under. If they're starting out like that already. Yeah.

-----

Whoops, thought Gabrielle. Shouldn't have done that.

Got out of hand. Her usual instincts were right. She never went near Joxer at a time like this when he had just tried to drive her crazy by doing something incredibly stupid and incredibly brave at the same time, because it always worked. It did drive her crazy, and if she went near him at such times she'd be liable to either hug him or smack him half to death, or maybe both. So she always let Xena deal with any patching-up to be done, just to be safe.

But Joxer was still nervous around Xena, jumpy in a way he almost never was, and on instinct she'd shielded him from having to face her this time. That probably had been a mistake, too, she should have stood aside and maybe he would have been forced to...But no, he wouldn't have said anything. More of that warrior bullshit, no doubt. Bah. Maybe she could get Suleiman to talk to him. Maybe he'd listen to a guy...although was Joxer right, and would Suleiman look down on him for having lost his sword? Guys and swords. Double bah.

And whatever That Woman was doing to and/or with him obviously wasn't helping any. She didn't have any problems about him being with Nebula, of course, it was just that it wasn't helping. If That Woman wouldn't help, and if he insisted on being a stubborn idiot, and he was Joxer, after all, if he insisted on being a stubborn idiot then that left only Gabrielle to take up the slack. Friends look out for each other. And this was her chance to pay him back for all those times he'd shored her up in the past.

Not that anybody owed anybody anything, of course. It was just that...it was just a friend thing. She had an obligation, that was it. An obligation.

She pulled back the curtain and looked in on him. He was lying curled up on his side and his breathing was quiet. Joxer normally slept sprawled on his back or stomach, snoring away happily. He didn't look that way now. He looked almost as if he was hiding from something. And that wasn't Joxer's way. Duck, yes; dodge, stand aside, run if necessary, but not hide. Not lie down and give up. A sudden pain twisted in her gut, and she let the curtain fall back.

Yes. Somebody had to do something. Soon.