"In the tub," Xena said.

"No." Joxer'd had enough water to last him the rest of his life. If he wasn't drinking it, he didn't want to be around it.

"Now."

Any lingering doubts that the woman was not Xena and/or a figment of his fevered imagination shriveled up and died at her tone. Grumbling to himself, he stripped off what remained of his clothes and climbed into the tub.

Hot! There wasn't any fire under the tub, the water must have been sourced from hot springs somewhere. And tubs of water at all in Sumeria? Part of the ship's cargo had been casks of mountain water from Greece that were apparently in big demand as a luxury item. Palaces were nice places to live, Joxer decided as he sank down as far as possible while still being able to breathe.

He was in Xena and Gab's apartments, large airy rooms around a private courtyard open to the weather, lounges strewn with brightly colored Sumerian weavings, smaller private alcoves curtained off, and in the garden a small spring trickling over rocks and this wonderful, wonderful tub. He wondered if it was possible to fall asleep in it without drowning, and if it might be worth the risk anyway.

Gabrielle came up with her arms full of painful-looking implements and that kind of look on her face that meant he was in trouble. "For pity's sake, look at that water. What have you been up to?"

He remembered he was mad. "Nothing," he said. "Just trying to save you guys' lives, is all."

"Do we look like we need saving? Scrub." Gabrielle shoved a bar of soap at him. "Scrub or I'll do it for you."

Normally that would have been a great opportunity but he let it slip past and started washing, although he doubted he could ever feel clean again. Gabrielle watched him like a hawk, and Xena said, "So exactly what are you doing here, besides wrecking our tub?"

"Where's Eve?"

"Sleeping. Don't change the subject."

He hadn't been changing the subject, he'd just been looking for the only person who would actually be glad to see him apparently. "I was worried about you guys."

"But how in the gods' names did you find us in Sumeria?" Xena sounded like she was asking a question she didn't expect answered.

"I went to Egypt."

"You weren't supposed to go to Egypt," Gabrielle said.

"I went there to Egypt, and I went to find you."

"I told you not to go to Egypt," Gabrielle said.

Joxer ducked around this. "And when I got there I heard how your ship had been captured by Sumerian pirates before it arrived, and..." He quickly ducked under the water until he was sure he could finish the sentence without his voice shaking and came up, gasping for breath. "And I figured Nebula was boss of the pirates, so she could find you guys and save you. Which I guess she already did," he added a little bitterly.

Xena swore in Chinish, which Joxer understood but did not let on. "What were you thinking, Joxer?" She stalked away, shaking her head, and went to rummage through a carved chest on a nearby table.

"I was thinking--" Joxer said and stopped. He didn't want to remember what he had been thinking. He'd spent a lot of time trying not to think it and he was afraid to know if any of it was true, and he'd ask later. He would. Just not right now. "I was thinking I had to get to Sumeria," he said, "so I got on a ship and came here."

"I see you didn't spring for first class," Xena said dryly. She picked up the chakram from the table. "Hands."

He obediently placed his hands on the edge of the tub and tried not to flinch as Xena brought the chakram down hard, hitting the lock of each manacle in a swift precise movement. The poorly-fastened joints gave way before the Olympian metal, and Joxer shook his poor abused wrists loose of the chains.

Xena took one hand and scrutinized it carefully, shaking her head. "I'll get some salve ready for that. Stay there."

And where would I go? Joxer thought. He started to back away from the edge of the tub, but Gabrielle said, "Stay." He froze in place, and she started scrubbing the back of his neck and shoulders.

Joxer devoutly wished these were better circumstances. As it was he was having a hard time not flinching, but Gabrielle didn't seem to notice. "Good heavens, look at you. Ears."

"Ow. Quit it."

"Stand up a bit, I can't get your back. Joxer," she growled when he didn't, "stand up."

Sighing, he leaned his hands on the edge of the tub and partly stood. Maybe she wouldn't--

Gabrielle stopped scrubbing. "Xena," she said softly.

Oh, crap. Now he was in for it. Joxer closed his eyes as Xena walked around the tub to join Gabrielle. She was quiet for a moment, then said in a soft, deadly voice, "Who did this to you?"

"It's nothing."

"Joxer, how did you get to Sumeria?"

"On a ship. I told you." He could feel her eyes, Gabrielle's too, staring at him and after a moment he gave in. "Um. I kind of...worked my way over."

"As a galley slave."

He wilted. "I suppose you could, um, say that."

"Oh...Joxer." Xena's tone was entirely unreadable. She walked away from the tub. "Good gods." After a moment Gabrielle started washing his exposed back, but with much less vigor than before. Joxer didn't like the mood in the air. It made him tense and upset. "I thought you guys were in trouble," he protested weakly. "I had to find some way to get here, I thought--"

"Well, our ship did get intercepted," Gabrielle said. The anger was out of her tone, so whatever he'd done to make her mad seemed to have passed over for now. "But it turned out Nebula sent the pirates to pick us up herself. There was trouble in Egypt, and the Romans were involved. So she brought us here."

"Why?" The question was out before he realized how stupid it sounded.

"That's a good question," Xena said surprisingly. She had walked back to the chest and was sorting through small pouches of herbs. "I'm not quite sure yet."

Joxer raised his head and looked around at the luxuriant apartments. "You mean...she like kidnapped you?"

"I don't know." Xena added some foul-smelling unguent from a pot to a mortar. "She seems to be gracious enough--but we haven't tried to leave yet."

Joxer was almost interested now. Maybe there was something he could help with after all. "You think she wants Eve?"

"Maybe. Maybe she feels it'll help consolidate her power if she has the Avatar as part of her court. Maybe it's not Eve at all she wants, but us. She's made us her personal guards. Excuse me--'offered' us the jobs." Xena hissed slightly between her teeth, the way she did when she was concentrating. "Her position isn't very stable, so perhaps she needs some people she can be sure of on her side. There's not many. A couple of her advisors. Some of the younger heads of the noble families--but most of the families are headed up by older men, with more to lose." She looked to the main doorway across the room. "Speak of the devil."

Joxer automatically looked where she was looking, and almost jumped out of his skin. There was a man standing there, and he'd appeared so silently and suddenly that for a moment Joxer thought he might be hallucinating. Then he recognized the man as the guard he'd pushed down the steps, and changed over to hoping he was hallucinating.

The man stepped into the room with a quiet, dangerous warrior grace, like Xena or Jett, and handed a bundle of cloth to Xena. "This will probably be too big," he said. "But it's a start."

"Thank you, Suleiman." Xena took the bundle and placed it on the table.

"I hope for your sake," the man said gravely, "that they aren't all that weedy where you come from."

"Joxer's unique."

The man glanced at Joxer now, amused, and Joxer shrank down into the tub again, suspecting his face was flaming red under the sting of the multiple humiliations. He cowered behind the lip of the tub as the man turned and left the room as quietly and suddenly as he'd arrived.

"Suleiman," Xena said to his unspoken question. "Old family, but head of Nebula's household Guard. One of the few people we know we can trust."

Head of the Queen's Guard--probably one of the best warriors in the kingdom to hold such a post. And a friend to Nebula, and by extension to Xena and Gab. And Joxer had pushed him down the stairs. Oh gods oh gods oh gods. He sank down even farther, wishing he could hide under the water for about six or seven hours or so until the major humiliation passed.

"Damn it, Joxer," Gabrielle snapped, "stand up and hold still. I have to wash out those..." She grabbed him by the ear and hauled him into a more or less upright position. He yelped in token protest, then gritted his teeth and tried to maintain enough dignity to make no noise at all. He'd tried not to make a lot of noise when he'd gotten the beatings, he'd be damned if he was going to start whining now.

This turned out to be something easier to vow than to do. He was just at the point where he was about to lose it and start yelling when Xena said "Enough", thank the gods. She pushed the bundle into his arms. "Get out and put this on."

He climbed out of the tub, his legs somewhat shaky under him, and carefully avoided looking at the residue in the water. Instead he unrolled the cloth. It was one of those ankle length tunics he'd seen on many people in the crowd. He was rather dubious about the thing, but found when he slipped it on that it was loose and comfortable and, most importantly, didn't rub anywhere. "Come on," Xena said, picking up the salves from the table. "I've got to dress those wounds, and then you're going to go to bed and get some rest. Joxer," she said before he'd even opened his mouth, "don't give me a hard time about this."

He wasn't going to go to bed. He was going to find out what was going on, and go look around, and especially talk to Gabrielle. He took a deep breath as he followed Xena into one of the curtained alcoves, which contained a large, luxurious bed and a crib in which Eve was sleeping soundly. He started to explain to Xena how he wasn't going to stay here, but she snapped her fingers and wordlessly pointed to the bed. Stifling a groan, he obediently lay down on his stomach and decided to wait for her to do whatever it was she was going to do, because she was going to do it whether he let her or not. It was going to hurt, and he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep at all, and anyway he was terribly hungry and needed to get something to eat, and he had to talk to Gabrielle. Especially he had to talk to Gabrielle. Xena pulled up the tunic and started rubbing the salve into his back, and it stung like poison. And he had to talk to Gabrielle. No way was he going to stay in bed, he decided. He would just tell Xena that, and before he could quite complete the thought he was sound asleep.

-----

Gabrielle stood and watched the closed curtain for a long time, emotions more mixed than usual. The sight of the mess on Joxer's back, and the thought of what caused it, twisted her gut into knots that resisted all attempts at untying. She felt more than a little guilty she hadn't offered more sympathy--gods knew he looked like he needed it--but she shoved the feeling away. Let Joxer know how worried she was and he'd milk it for weeks. No, it was better and kinder in the end for both of them if she stayed put. Sure it was. And he'd be fine. Wouldn't he?... She took a hesitant step toward the alcove just as Xena stepped back into the room. "Xena..."

"He'll be all right." Xena shook her head, sighing. "I'm beginning to think nothing short of a sword straight through the heart could stop Joxer. He's got more lives than a hydra."

"I wish he'd stop this."

"Never happen, Gabrielle. That man was born to trouble."

"I mean this following us around. It's too dangerous for him."

Xena packed the medicines carefully away in the chest. "What did you mean, you told him not to go to Egypt?"

Shit, Gabrielle thought. She'd hoped Xena had missed that. "I, I mean...What I said was..."

"What you told me was that he'd decided not to go. Something about the sun."

"I--" Gabrielle started again, then gave up. "I told him I didn't want him coming with us. Don't look at me like that." Xena wasn't looking at her at all. "I was afraid he'd get himself hurt, or worse. I was only looking out for his well-being."

"I wondered why he left without saying good-bye."

Gabrielle hated it when Xena got supercilious like this and she grabbed the irritation and ran with it. "Darn it, if he'd come with us he might--" He might not have been chained in the bottom of a slave ship for weeks. Damn Joxer, anyway. Why did he have to be so contrary all the time? "It's too dangerous lately." Gabrielle changed tack, lamely even to her own ears. "The gods in an uproar and all. He's already almost gotten himself killed once over Eve. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to him because I didn't send him away when I had a chance."

"Well, he's not going anywhere--away or otherwise--for a few days. He needs to rest. At least it'll be a while before he can be any trouble." Xena sighed. "I'm going to talk to Nebula, see if we can get something set up for him in here. I'll be back in a bit." She left. Gabrielle thought again of going into the alcove, but stayed put. A while before Joxer could be any trouble, what a laugh. The mere existence of Joxer was trouble enough for Gabrielle.

She'd thought putting the physical distance between herself and him would help matters, but during the entire voyage to Egypt she'd kept thinking about him again and again--how Joxer would like the sight of those flying-fish, how Joxer would probably be able to turn the hardtack into something almost edible, how Joxer would tease her mercilessly about her seasickness, how Joxer would probably lean over the rail and practically fall over or something trying to talk to the dolphins. It was almost as bad as if he was actually with her and doing all those things, and the more she'd tried to focus the more he'd weaseled his way into her mind. The jerk. She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd been doing it on purpose. Then with the excitement, the pirates and the escort back to Sumeria, the preparation for a showdown that never occurred and all, she'd finally managed to put him out of her head. Action was good. She was beginning to understand even more about Xena than she had before; action was good, it drove idle thought away and tired out the body enough to keep it from dreaming at night. And then everything was going perfectly, she and Xena had a safe haven here with Nebula, Eve was safe, no gods to worry about, and she was too happy to even think about Joxer--and the next thing she knew there he was literally falling at her feet, looking a mess and ruining all that nice work she'd done on putting the memories she didn't want to think about and their associations she wouldn't let herself think about away. Darn Joxer, anyhow. Why did he have to go around...existing all the time?

Gabrielle sat down on a lounge and watched the closed curtain for a long time, emotions more mixed than usual.

-----

Xena left Joxer to sleep for a while and went to talk to Gabrielle, but the younger warrior made excuses and went to bed early. Xena didn't blame her.

How much did Gabrielle know? Gods knew Xena knew about the reputation of the Sumerians. Hadn't Nebula used to brag about it in the old days? And Joxer, the way he lived, he'd had to have known. So certainly he'd known what he'd be getting into, and there was no sense coddling him. He'd made his choice and would live with it. Joxer was like that. He was tough, and he responded much better to coldness than to warmth. If she was careful not to allow him any sympathy, he'd pull through just fine.

Of course, that was going to be a little difficult tonight. She pulled back the curtain leading to her room and looked at him sprawled out upon her bed. Well--one night wouldn't hurt, she thought, feeling a half-smile tug at the edge of her mouth.

Besides, she'd drugged him heavily enough to keep him from being aware of what was happening. At the thought the smile vanished--she had to tend to some of those wounds to keep them from going septic, and he probably wouldn't have allowed her to touch them if he was awake. She moved around the room, lighting several more lamps to help her work. Eve was already awake, sitting up in her crib and watching silently. She looked at her mother but made no noise.

"It's all right," Xena told her. She checked the pot of salve she had carefully buried in the ashes at one side of the hearth and, satisfied it was warm enough, took it to the table by the bedside. Joxer was still lying on his stomach, so sound asleep he wasn't even snoring, dead weight in her hands as she pulled the tunic off him and rolled him over onto his back. Something threatened to catch in her throat at the sight of his face, the muscles twitching at the behest of a nightmare.

"Where did you come from, Joxer?" she asked softly, knowing there was no answer. She tried to smooth away the tension in his face. "Why did you wind up so entangled with us? Your life couldn't have been meant to turn out this way." She should never have allowed it to happen, she should have chased him off in the beginning--but Gabrielle enjoyed fencing with him so much, and Xena herself had thought back then that all the bad days were behind her. Gods knew she'd corrupted enough innocents for a thousand lifetimes. She'd thought she was through with destroying everyone around her just by her proximity.

And she'd never, never thought it would happen to Joxer.

She pushed the thought away, concentrating only on the details of wounds and salves, coolly assessing physical damage to occupy her mind and keep it from going where she didn't want it to. "That's the way to do it, Joxer," she said softly, knowing he couldn't hear her. "Just don't think about it, don't dwell on it. The past is past. Forget it all, and you'll be all right. Just do what I do, and you'll be fine. Everything will be fine someday," she said and didn't allow the half-thought in the back of her head to blossom into fullness, the one that wanted to ask who she was talking to. "Someday, it will."