Amy's thoughts

SATURDAY - September 11, 2000 - Maintained - 20 total

Well today I weighed in, its week three since Ive been following the weight watchers plan. Ive lost 10 so far and now its still ten. A big fat zero loss. Don't get me wrong, Im very happy I didnt have a gain. Im just kindof down because I didnt have a loss. I knew this time would come but I certainly didnt expect it during week three. So Im feeling very frumpy this weekend. I havent gone off my diet but its given me a little while to reflect on my diet, what I did and didnt do wrong, etc. I'm going to raise my points this week. I was talking to Debbie (www.debbiescorner.com) and got the third degree because I havent been eating anywhere near my minimum of 29, Ive been having 14-19 points a day. I dont seem to eat more than that, and Im happy and content with that many. BUT, since Im following the program I have to - FOLLOW THE PROGRAM. I'm also going to concentrate on drinking my water and actually measure my intake. I think this week, I have my monthly enemy coming, I ate too big of portions of dinners, and I started raising my points 2-3 days ago so I think a combination of all that gave me the big fat zero. But thats ok - there is always next week! Im trying to actually not say I didnt lose anything - BUT I MAINTAINED! :) <-- See that smiley there? Its fake hahaha Im very down about it but Im really trying to keep the faith!!! So for now I'll search the web for more amazing success stories - boy does that inspire me. More so than anything else I think.

SATURDAY - September 16, 2000 - Loss: 8 pounds - 28 Total!

I got one word for ya - WOOOOOFREAKINHOOOO!!! I LOST EIGHT POUNDS! GONE FOREVER! :) I am so glad I kept myself going and even though I didnt feel my heart was in it I stayed on track and even raised my points to about 29-32 points a day. I guzzled water and can tell you I was literally drowning :) I actually measured it this week - I WAS NO WHERE CLOSE TO WHAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING - 128 ounces is a HECK of a lot. I learned to have a glass before I do anything. Soon as I get up, when I go back downstairs, before I eat breakfast, before I leave work - that 4 glasses right there - 8 to go! Then everytime I have to go pee at work - which is alot from guzzling so much I down another 8oz ;) Although I have been bad the past 2-3 days I plan on making up for it today and start guzzling again. I really believe that was one of the keys to losing and it showing on the scale. I also started working out to Richard Simmons Tone & Sweat - with that stretch chord thingy - WOW what a workout! I had every muscle screaming at me! But it was better than aerobics, I wasnt out of breath and I was still sweatin like the devil! I thought that was way cool ;) I have been thinking toning is a key part to losing weight and lookin good. Everyone I've seen who has lost has done toning. So Im gonna do it too. I now have lost 18 pounds, 28 total since I had lost some in March. I feel so good, especially after today! I could hop skip and jump naked down the street if i werent afraid of giving the neighbors heart attacks hahah I know I wont lose as much this week, but thats ok. If I dont lose and maintain Ive learned there is always next week :) I filled out my weight loss chart today - what a scoop downward! I love that thing and I love watching it make its way down. If you want to do something that makes you feel great when you lose - MAKE A HUGE CHART and put it somewhere you are everyday - I put mine in the kitchen. It was a pain to make, but its big, orange, and i got lil heart stickers to mark my losses. Its done in two week increments for each line and two pound increments for the other direction. Its really cool! I'll let you know how I do next week!

SATURDAY - September 23, 2000 - Loss: 0 - Maintained

Well, I am back to my maintaining ;) Only this week I feel pretty good about it. On the 11th I was not prepared for it but this week I tried not to get too excited for a loss. I did have a dream last night that I lost 5 more pounds though so when I did get on the scale that didn't help any ;) I wasn't depressed over it today though. I actually started thinking - HEY ITS OK - next week something will come off. I have no urge to cheat or eat evil things like I did last time. And I can honestly say that when I walk by our snack cubbie at work I keep walking and don't even have the urge to glance at it. I have to mention that because thats really saying something for me :) I would go to it and stand and just look at everything, even before I started dieting hahah I can honestly say Im losing my craving for chocolate and am starting to not even like the taste - PLEASE LET IT STAY THAT WAY! hahah Anyway, I got on and off the scale three times to test the waters, since its a crappy digital scale. 260 all three times. Then I ate breakfast and had guzzled me 3 glasses of water and got back on again, I dont know why I just wanted to. It said 266. hahaha I ignored that one though and now I know why you weigh first thing in the morning :) I thought to myself - what does it matter Amy? Really. Why do you even get on the scale once a week - why not once a month? I wont wait that long of course but it really got me thinking about my weight and I think I impressed myself by doing that. Does that make sense? It doesnt feel like a diet to me any longer. Oh it is I guess but I know Im going to be doing this the rest of my life, changing my habits and learning to eat better things. If I keep doing the right things how can I get wrong results... So I have no worries over it....especially since I was able to maintain. Saying I maintained rather than lost ZILCH sounds much better doesnt it? I think so... I still have to work on my portions, and my points were not up to parr, they were about 28ish which is JUST below my minimum and Im supposed to be shooting for 32. I hate it that I have to make myself eat more food! I feel content and fine eating what I am and Im getting my fruits in, my veggies, I dont see why I should have to make myself eat more. But I WILL, for a little while to see what happens. I guess I'll try recipes with bigger points or something.... On to next week...

SATURDAY - October 7, 2000 - Loss: 2 - 32 total!

Two more gone forever :) I wish I could keep doing this two each week it makes things much easier to deal with! hahah Ive had a pretty good week except for thursday when I was very SLUMPY and very not into my diet. I broke down and had a 1/2 a peice of cake and a peice and a half of pizza - REAL pizza for dinner. I know it wasnt 'that' bad and I was still within my points and all...but I just was in such a mood I cant really even explain it to you. I didnt want to kill my diet. I didnt want to not kill it. I was just a slump. I didnt exercise either, I started to but stopped because I just didnt feel like going on. Weird huh? The night before I had this bright idea to get on the scale and take a digital picture of it for my home page here...you dont see it do you?? It said I gained 4 lbs and I was like WOA hold the boat jack! That led to my mood. On friday I checked it again but had the hubbie stand under me and block the scale and I told him that if it was higher than 258 - tell me to get off and walk away. I didnt have to I was at my 258 weight again. Shew what a relief...that got me back in the mood and I had an excellent friday. :) It said 2 off today so Im happy once again! Ive also been thinking about my 'plans'. I plan my food as best I can, not weekly but daily, but I have no plan for exercise. So I think Im going to walk everyday. Then on mon-wed-thurs do my toning tape and tues-thurs-sat do one of my workout tapes. That way I will know what I want to do each day, have it planned so I know I just gotta do it. We'll see if it works or not!! ;) I have gotten better with water and I really need to keep focusing on guzzling. That seems to be the best way for me to get it in. Guzzle 8 or 16 whenever I need a drink. If I can keep that up it will more than likely help me along to keep this 2 lb a week goal :) I also decided not to raise my points to be in my 'upper' limit. I think I might even experiment for a while with doing what I would be doing if I had lost my weight and got to goal. I want my body to know what its going to be doing now, not ease it in there... So we'll see I'll do that I think for the rest of this month and see how things go. It works for some (like Dotti) and not for others...If I can do 2 lbs a week for the next 15 months, I will be at goal. That would mean I could be at goal by New Years 2002!

SATURDAY - October 1, 2000 - Loss: 2 - 30 total!

Little better this week....Im in the 250's baybeee! :) I woke up, got on the scale, and it said 260 again. I jumped on and off two more times...260...260. Argh. I went in the living room, fumed a bit, and then decided to get on one more time. 258! I made myself get on three more times to make sure it said the same thing and it did so Im counting it! hehe Scales are screwy sometimes, Im just about ready to call the scale quits and just get on every couple of weeks or something...that would be best but since Im in all these challenges that update weekly Im gonna keep gettin on that monster. I think I will invest in a REALLY nice scale though, since this is for the rest of my life, it will be a good investment. This week I've done something spectacular! I started jogging :) The first day I only jogged the 2nd part of my walk (I split it in 3 parts - first is straight, my warmup - second is uphill, time to sweat - third is downhill, cooldown!) I know why did I decide to jog the worst part? Well there are no houses there and nobody can se me hahah I didnt want to stop though, my legs were elastic. It was a slow jog, enough to feel my weight on my legs and make me sweat. I liked it and its something I have never done being overweight so it was a barrier I broke and it was exciting! The next night I jogged the second part and the rest of the way home so I did the 3rd as well! I felt like Rocky rollin in my driveway, I was really excited then!! I also did my Disco Sweat tape...which is another feat. I did this last when I was back in Marland over a year ago. I almost died and I did it but I cried all through the floor abs part. My butt hurt from laying on the floor, I couldnt beleive I was so fat. I wanted to jump through that screen and choke the crap out of Richard!! Just because he made me realize some truth and it really hurt. So I hadnt done it since. I did it last night though - 65 minutes and I made it much easier now and I didnt cry :) I felt good and am going to do it again tonight! My Denise Austin tape got mongled by my 21 mos old...lil bugger...so now I have no choice but to do it hahah I am liking it more though....Im lowering my fats some this week to see if that helps the scale. Went to skim milk and am watching those 1-3pt snacks (the fat content)...So we'll see how it goes next week... My clothes are getting baggy and the hubbie is noticing my loss now too and its neat to see him in awe over it :) Did you know I have a bone in my thigh!?!? Its big and there, honest, I felt it!! :)

SATURDAY - October 14, 2000 - Maintained - 32 total!

Well how bout that ;) I seem to be following a routine here or at least it seems like it! I dont mind today though, I was expecting to maintain and praying to not have a gain! I didnt exercise much at all this week, twice I think, and I didnt do good on my water, and was being visited by the monthly monster.... So I didnt gain and Im happy about that! Time to get back on track and get this exercise thing in gear. I did shoot a goal for myself to exercise everyday for the next 60 days. So far so good! I went to a craft bazaar today. I bought this really cute angel figurine that says: Diet Angel way up high, please dont let me eat this pie. :) It was so cute I couldnt resist - lot of good it did me though haha I had a bbq pork sammich and shared fried dough with the family. After I finished the bbq, I walked past a baked potato shack - I was very mad because I really didnt want to eat the sandwich (I HAD to have the fried dough hahah) But... I'm not beating myself up over it, I need to live a little sometimes. Im just going to get more strict this week to make sure I can make up for it with some lower points and lots of exercise. I wont make it to 235 by christmas without bustin some butt until then so I've got to work extra hard. We got our income taxes back yesterday so we went and ordered one of those big gym thingies so I can tone up and Rob can become the HULK. ;) That will be nice to have and then i cant use the excuse - the kids are watching tv, I'll exercise later hahah Look forward to getting that...I kindof have been feeling like I'm in limbo, I think because of my weight coming off so slow...which is suposed to be good and I have to keep telling myself to relax, hang in there, and wait wait wait. Im not seeing a loss right now so I think I need to re-measure again, just to see what if Ive lost any more in inches. Last time I had 14.5 total inches gone :) Our gang is growing! We are having more gals sign up for the losing2gether group and besides getting swamped with email its so nice to have everyone be a part of us :) It makes you want to stay on track all the more - and since I dont go to meetings here in England = its all the more important... if you'd like to join - just email me and I'll sign you up :) Until next week... Amy

SATURDAY - October 21, 2000 - Lost: 2 - 34 total!

Two more pounds! The scaled moved alot so I got on like 40 times hahah Its not a good one thats for sure. A few times it said 250 and I was so excited and that looked SOOO good ;) But I took the 2 (254) because that seemed to come up more. Not much else to report this week except I start weight watchers next tuesday - OFFICIALLY. I found out my neighbor goes to a meeting not far from my house - Im so excited!! I know I've been doing it at home for 2 months...but Im looking forward to meetings to go to and getting real books! :) Will let you know how it turns out....

SATURDAY - October 28, 2000 - Lost: 6 - 40 total!

YES! I kindof figured I'd have a good week this week as the scale was so weird last week... I BROKE 250!!!!! Its been a LONG time since Ive been this weight. 11 years ago I was 210. When I reach that I'll have a 78 pound loss - OOO I cant wait! :) Im feeling really good this week. We have some new members in our group and everyone is such a big help, I find that when I help others its really helping me at the same time ;) I joined Weight Watchers tuesday night and was a little disappointed. The leader was great, she was very funny and entertaining although there were some things she said I didnt agree with - mainly, that when you lose weight your skin is like elastic and just shrinks back into place. YEAH RIGHT - not without exercise I can tell you that! ;) I have flabby underarms Im working on and the belly, well its going to take me alot of exercising at to say the least! :) The brittish version of WW is different than the american so Im not sure if I'll continue to go. They have things here Ive never heard of and we dont buy things from the economy as its too expensive, we buy from base...AND their points are figured up by saturated fat and calories (energy) - NO FIBER! so I dont know if their points finder (ITS HUGE) works out the same points at the American version. Argh. I'll have to buy the at home program I guess to get a complete American set. You'd think WW would send me one, but no. I'll go a week or two and see if I like what the leader has to say etc...I did feel that I could have gotten up there and got these ladies motivated. So I started really considering being a leader when reach goal and return to the states....She also talked a WHOLE bunch about alcohol...so either the people here REALLY like to drink or she does ;) I just didnt feel a connection with her I guess, she didnt ask anything personal about me and it took me four tries inbetween her talking to tell her that Ive been on WW and have lost 34 lbs....BUT I do like weighing in. So I'll have to see if its worth it to dish out those pounds ($$) every week just for that...I think I'd rather get the at home program and a really nice scale...Until next week!

SATURDAY - November 4, 2000 - Lost: 2 - 42 total!
Two more down! This week has been kindof hard munchy-wise. Its almost time for the monster and I've been wanting to eat eat eat! I had all high points this week so I dont expect much of a loss next week. I need to start working out more! I had 3 or 4 days when I didnt exercise. Im really finding on the days I work that its very hard to come home and work out. I did get up one day early and exercise before work at 3am. Got sick as a dog hahah I wont be doing that again ;) Next month Im supposed to go to the eve shift so things will be easier for me once I've gotten on schedule. Thats the best shift because you have all day to do what you have to do. Except for the fact that I dont get to spend time with the kids in the evening... I try to make up for it as much as I can in the mornings though... Anyway WW mtgs have been going pretty good. I showed a 1 lb loss and the meeting was pretty good. Still feel like I could get up there and teach though ;) So Im considering maybe being a leader once I get back to the states and reach goal.... We shall see... We have a few new members to the group and its been great having everyone for support! I'm having fun with the pages. Im also excited for the holidays (as if you couldnt tell!) and cant wait to go back home to the states for an early Christmas :)

SATURDAY - November 11, 2000 - Lost: 2 - 44 total!
Lost 2 more! Lemme say that again - FORTY FOUR POUNDS :) Each week Im getting closer and closer to goal! Only 6 more to go to reach my goal before going home December 5th. 1,2,3,4,5,6 - I can do that!! :) Ive had the munchies this week thanks to the lil monster...I did pretty good and decided to use LowFat Tostitos and Salsa as a quick fix ;) I'm having a wonderful time looking at myself in the mirror. hahah I cant seem to help it! Everytime I walk by the one at work or my full length one at home - I see this new person reflecting back to me. My belly is slimming down, my legs are thinner, I can see my boobs and my shoulders again! :) My face is slimming down and my chin is slowing disappearing. Wow. Finally - took me 44 lbs to really notice while looking at myself, before it was just as my clothes were getting looser. Now they are getting BAGGY. WOOHOO! I find myself doing weird things too. I skip down the hallway....I jump side to side like Im skiing down a slope....I pretend to kickbox and see how far I can raise my leg - ALMOST HEAD LEVEL!....My jacket is baggy (compared to before when I first put it on and though hmmm...not much more room for me in this thing)...My undies are so baggy now I dont get wedgies anymore!....My watch has gone down two notches...my rings are starting to spin...Im wearing two shirts that I havent worn in THREE whole years because I was waiting until I could wear them again :) I havent gone shopping yet but will when I get to the states to get some new clothes and see my 'new size'. I'm so happy :) NOW I can definitely say that the hard times so far have DEFINITELY been worth it. 6 more lbs to a 50 lb loss - WOOHOO! Only 16 more and I'll have 60 lbs gone from my body FOREVER. :) GO AMY!

SATURDAY - November 18, 2000 - Lost: 1 - 45 total!
Did pretty good this week although I didnt exercise. Dont know whats going on with that outside of the fact we were very busy painting the living room, decorating for Christmas and I did some gardening. So I got exercise just not what I call REAL exercise. The kind you hate hhaha I will try and get back on track though. Still a thrill to see me in the mirror and seeing my before and after pic is way cool. I really am becoming addicted to myself hahah Maybe thats why im not exercising enough, im feeling comfortable with myself - but Im not as comfortable as I could be!! :) Time to get serious on all aspects I think... which will be hard with vacation coming on the 5th. I can already taste Sorrento's pizza - YUMMY.

SATURDAY - December 30, 2000 - A New Beginning!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Well its time for a new beginning. Ive had vacation, Ive had Christmas goodies, Ive had anything you could possibly want to have but shouldn't! I don't know how but after vacation I'd lost the 'umpf' with the one thing that made me happier than I have been in a long time, my weightloss. But now Ive ordered the weight watchers at home kit and should recieve it within a week or so, that should get some more excitement out of me! Im getting back to my old self and I can feel it. I am going to do this! This is my New Year's Resolution, that I sent to the girls in our Losing2gether group... (P.S. - Im going to be changing the layout of our pages soon and will notify you through the notify list on my main page)

FRIDAY - April 6, 2001 - Update!
Okay so its been 3 mos since Ive updated...Ive been having a really rough time the past months. I have been dieting off and on but have gained 17 pounds back. My new start below didnt happen. The past months Ive been off and on and it has been driving me absolutely nutso. Especially over the last three to four weeks, Ive been doing alot of talking to myself and questioning...I just couldnt understand why I just wouldnt stick to it...I know what I gotta do, I know what I gotta eat I just havent had the power to make myself continue to do it. I kept asking myself:
1. Why are you doing this to yourself?
2. You've lost 48 lbs and have gained back 17 of it! Do you want to gain it all back?
3. Why are you letting food get the best of you?
4. Do you want to lose this weight or not?!?
5. Whats stopping you?
I just kept talking to myself. I know weird but I swear it works!! I have gotten totally back on track if not better than I was before. I found that I was letting food rule me. I was snacking all day so i wouldnt get hungry but you know what? I needed to feel that hunger. So I changed the way I have been eating. I no longer count points or anything. Im eating the way I want to eat when Im at goal. I stopped all snacks. I might have one during the day but thats it. Ive been doing this the past two weeks and I have lost 14 of the 17 pounds I have gained back :) Only 4 more to go to get to where I was before. Im feeling fantastic and Im back to my walking again only Im doing 2.5 miles instead of my 1. Im also going to start going to the gym this week after work, I really want to get some toning in and help this weight out the door ;) So if you are having a hard time right now and dont have the motivation, talk to yourself, believe in yourself, look at the now instead of the has been, set your rules, think about everything you want to eat before you eat it and ask yourself - Are these few bites worth it? Make it happen.



	RESOLUTION 2001: You know since Ive been eating the 'old' way - I dont feel good at all. All around. I see the few pounds I gained - somewhere between 6 and 10 (I cant tell because the old scale is broke so Im going to start fresh with the new scale on the first). I also feel lazier - I miss exercising!! Never thought Id see the day where I could say that! So what Ive been thinking is - why do I want to continue like this when I felt so great before! I need to get it back before I lose the other half of bounce in my step! And its proven to me that hey, the food may be good - but is it worth not having that excellent feeling I have while staying op? No. Its not. So let my lesson be a lesson to you girls - the food make look good, it may smell good, and it may taste good - but it 'taint wurth it!! Now I really need to dwell on these facts because Im very scared of whats going to happen when I get to goal. If I did this just from a freaking vacation - what the hell am I going to do then?? I DONT WANT TO DO THIS and go back to where I started. Evidentally the "CHANGE OF LIFE" has not settled into my head yet so thats my new years resolution - to realize this is a permanent change in my life and I have to make it as such is I want success and the one thing that will make me happier than a junebug in the spring - GET TO GOAL AND MAINTAIN! And by god, IM GONNA DO IT!