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i occasionally like to kill time harassing angst-ridden teenyboppers in various yahoo! chatrooms. having previously received a chat offer from a (supposedly) young abrasive black man who apparently likes to go by the screen name "niggaman", i downed a couple beers and decided to make him my victim for this special occasion. or was i his? either way, here are the very retarded and unfunny results (screen names changed for anonymity):
[begin]
niggaman: so we finally have da chance ta speek, eh whitey?
me: yeah yeah yeah, what did you want?
niggaman: i just wannabe chattin wit you about how u aint got no black women on yo site, fool
niggaman: u be all inta that jap shit and i dont like dat
me: are you serious?
niggaman: of corse i be serious whitey, where be all da shorties at?
me: well, my site isn't exactly a image depository for hot chicks, you know.
me: i just post whatever i want, obviously.
niggaman: u aint lissening ta me white devil, ya outta give da blackies some consideration
me: the, uh... "blackies"?
niggaman: u know wat i be sayin
me: uh, yeah, vaguely
me: look, let me be blunt
me: even with the laughably sad attempts at ebonics, your whole "character" is still pretty boring and unoriginal
me: meaning that i have to go pretend to be busy now.
niggaman: dont u be ignorin me bitch
me: look, don't you have a parole officer you need to check in with right now or something?
me: oh wait, that's mexicans
niggaman: fuck u pasty, i aint got no parole offiver!
me: yeah, sure you don't.
me: hey, make sure to say hi to your burly butt buddies in lock up for me, ok?
niggaman: dont u fuckin mes wit me, i fuvk ya up bitch!!
me: yes, i'm sure you will, my crazy dark colored friend til the end
niggaman: i be seriously, I FUCK YA UP WHITE SALAMNDER!!!
me: yeah, i sense you be seriously
niggaman: u be trying to supress me an shit, an i don't need tnhat
niggaman: i come down ta arizona an i cut yO FUCKING ASS UP!!
me: yeah well get in line. i think my father's next on the list to kick my ass.
niggaman: shut da fuck up while i be talkin sunny!
me: sunny? dad, is that you?
me: how's the family? still fucked up?
niggaman: FUCK YOU WHITE BITCH!!! FUCK YOU!!!!
niggaman: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!1
me: you know, i keep getting this strange sense that you might be angry or something
me: hello?
me: oh wait, i mean "yo dawg, wat be da dilly yo?"
me: hey brotha, if you're still coming down to arizona, make sure to let your parole officer know that you'll be skipping town for a couple days, ok?
me: afterall, i wouldn't want you to get in trouble just because you were busy killing me.
niggaman has disconnected.
[end]
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