Me, Myself And I

Have you ever woken up and not remember who or where you were or are? Like you would have thought that you were somewhere and someone else. Living another life and not this one you know when you are conscious. Like you were a whole new other person, in some other world, in some other place, in some other time.

In some other level of consciousness.

Well, if you haven't. It would feel something like this.

* * *

My eyes were still closed, and I thought I could hear the faintest of laughter. I wondered if I was still alseep. Maybe I was dreaming, unconscious thought brought to my momentary consciousness. I probably wouldn't even remember any of it later.

I didn't even want to wake up. But then, this huge question comes to mind. Comes to my mind. What was my mind anyway?!

Who am I?

I mean, yeah. Who am I? I didn't seem to remember. But then again, it didn't seem to matter. I just didn't seem to care. I seemed to have a mind of my own! I couldn't even think straight while I was thinking. And just as all this was getting too and overwhelmingly confusing....

A burst of sunlight.

And whoa was it bright. Then everything just became clear. I wasn't me. I was someone else. It's not like I didn't remember who I really was. But at that point of time, I just was someone else. Then, as the light began to fade, I noticed things.

Things were different. Little things and big things. Like my hair was a different colour, my face looked different, I wasn't even in my own room! And then there was that tinkling laughter again. Echoing down the long corridor. I could feel myself smile. Only I didn't want to smile.

Then, in an instant, I picked up my skirts and began to run down the corridor. Towards that laughter, which was, by the way, getting louder. I was happy and I didn't even know why. I didn't remember being this version of me!

Everything was different. But I knew where to go, what to do, and just who I was looking for. So it all was kind of ironic. I didn't remember or know anything and yet I remembered and knew everything!

And just as it was beginning to finally make some weird sense to me. I fell down!

Yea, and after that it was just all darkness and falling. Yup, all that shit about people falling into an endless abyss thing is real and it happens to basically everyone at some time. And me and I just kept falling and falling. It was too long a fall if you asked me. And we're both amazed at the fact that we didn't die of the pressure.

But that besides the point that I wish to make.

At some point, I hit rock bottom (take note that I'm me again, and no more me).

Okay, here comes the fun part. The moment of the impact, my whole body jerks. And I'm still in bed. I'm not even awake yet! Everything else just faded away and again nothing else mattered until...

Until! That's a big word.

* * *

My eyes open. And for that first moment when I slip from my half conscious unconscious to my supposed consciousness. I can't register anything I see or feel. I think that I am still me. And everything I am supposed to know becomes everything I don't know.

So it's like I am repeating what I had just been through. Only on different levels of consciousness. Different memories. Different thoughts. Different ideas. Different selves.

Or more clearly, different sides of me.

But maybe all that's just too much to believe. And maybe it's just a new idea. Or, it could just be the remnants of too amazing a dream.

It's all just maybe. So...

Maybe.