BLASTERS KEEP ROLLING

"To sustain this level of excellence for so long is an amazing accomplishment," Blasters Captain Chris Crowley said. "We now have half as many championships as the Yankees, and we did it in one-fifth the time. It is a testament to the strong organization that we have built over the past 17 years. And while we will savor this victory now, we have no intention of slowing down."

The Blasters took control of this game early with a six-run barrage in the first inning followed by another three runs in the second. Overall, the Blasters scored in eight of the 10 innings in which they batted in the 11-inning contest. The top six Blasters hitters -- Keith Emmer, R.T. McShane, George McShane, Kevin Gourdine, John Licht and Mike Campoli -- paced the offense, combining for 18 hits, 13 runs and 14 RBIs. But this was very much a collective effort.

Every Blaster recorded at least one hit as part of the 40-hit attack, and 17 of 18 players either scored a run or drove one in, with 12 doing both. (The lone exception was Flo, who arrived late and only batted twice). Even Mike Balducci got into the act, taking advantage of a 10th-inning pinch-hitting opportunity to drive in two runs and score another, securing his spot on Lord Twon's JAM Cup.

The Patches plated a single run in the second inning, then added another four in the top of the fifth to cut the Blasters' lead to 9-5. Tom Dever, Alex "Nails" Nalencz, Tony Gerrits and Joe Licht strung together consecutive hits to start the fifth-inning rally, before Mike Ozga delivered a two-run single. In the bottom of the inning, the Patches' fine defensive relay, Scott Kennedy to Nalencz to Mike Fornabaio, nabbed Alex Jones at the plate and kept the deficit at four runs.

But that was as close as the Patches could get. The Blasters responded by scoring in six consecutive innings, with single runs in the fifth, sixth and ninth, a pair of runs in the seventh, four in the eighth, and five in the 10th.

Meanwhile, the Patches went ice cold, which was hard to do on a day when the mercury hovered near 90 degrees. George McShane shut the Patches down from the sixth inning through the 10th, at one point retiring 11 consecutive batters.

McShane tossed only three pitches in one of those innings, thereby tying the all-time softball record for fewest pitches in an inning. The crafty lefthander also struck out two. McShane benefited from the well-oiled defensive machine behind him, led by the all-MVJ infield of John Licht at third, R.T. McShane at shortstop, Emmer at second and Campoli at first.

The late-arriving Big Fish made the defensive play of the game when he made a running catch on a deep drive by Tony Gerrits leading off the 10th inning -- without putting down his beer. That play, along with a pair of hits, a run and an RBI, were enough for Big Fish to reel in Rookie of the Year honors.

Typically we would also mention the defensive contributions of Gourdine. However, the smooth centerfielder tarnished his reputation, and perhaps lost his chance at winning the MVJ, by dropping a sinking line drive midway through the game. Afterward, Gourdine, who tee-totaled his way to legendary defensive status in his first two JAMs but who consumed a significant amount of chilled SoCo at this affair, took the Jamie Foxx excuse, blaming his gaffe on the al-al-al-al-al-alcohol.

A scary moment occurred in the fourth inning, when Nalencz fielded a Chris Blakely smash deep in the hole and fired a strike to second base in an attempt to force out Campoli, who had hit a single earlier that inning. Rattled by the footsteps -- or perhaps with ulterior motives -- Gerrits moved his hand a split-second too fast, allowing the ball tip off his glove and smack into Campoli's face. Campoli, who is no stranger to getting hit in the mouth in JAM-related events, lay on the ground for a few moments to confirm that his oft-displaced front teeth remained intact. Once he had made that determination, the JAM Commissioner brushed himself off, waved off the crowd that had gathered around him, and resumed the game.

Gerrits, who celebrated his 35th birthday with the loss, was apologetic during the game, but afterwards he sounded a different tune. "I'm not going to say that I moved my glove on purpose," Gerrits explained. "But I came here with the understanding that I would be a Blaster, and since that did not happen, there had to be consequences."

By the time the Patches batted in the 11th inning, the score was 23-5, and it would have taken an epic rally for them to pull off the comeback. Given six outs to accomplish this task (thus foregoing the need for a 12th inning), the Patches pushed four runs across the plate, which was not nearly enough.

As has become customary, after the game Campoli presented The JAM Cup to Crowley. The Big Man also captured MVJ honors for the first time, in a nod to the inspirational managerial style and talent-evaluating prowess that has helped him build a dynasty. Crowley also legged out an infield hit on a ball that traveled an estimated two feet away from home plate before stopping short of the first-base foul line.

"Crowley has been the heart and soul of this team from the beginning," long-time Blaster John Licht said. "Everywhere he goes and everything he does, he is always focused on bringing glory to the Blasters. Every time I see that man, I think 'Blaster.' Everyone on this team would run through a wall for him if he asked us to."

Late Saturday night, an unidentified source in the Obama administration confirmed a rumor that the Patch brain trust of Chris Spellman and Mike Fornabaio had scheduled a meeting in Washington to petition Congress to bail out the Patches. Terms of any prospective bailout have not yet been worked out, but would likely involve Spellman ceding operational control of the Patches to a newly-formed division of the Treasury Department, caps on performance bonuses to team executives and players, and routine steroid testing. The source initially described the likelihood of a bailout as "remote", but after examining the Blasters' roster, he admitted that the administration may get involved.

"After eight straight losses, it's clear that the Patches are a troubled asset," Spellman said. "It hurts to made such a radical move, but I'm willing to do anything to break this streak. I mean, Crowley was named MVJ. For Chrissakes! This is ridiculous!"

The Big Man was undeterred in the face of intervention on behalf of the Patches, whether it be of the governmental or the divine variety.

"Is [eight titles] enough?" Crowley asked rhetorically. "I don't think so."

Game Notes: The Bailout JAM was the first JAM to be played with a fence completely around the outfield. Designed to evoke the Polo Grounds' dimensions, the fence was set 240 feet from home plate down the lines and jutted out to 270 feet in straightaway center, with a cutout at the deepest part, much like the Polo Grounds' path to the clubhouses. Although the Polo Grounds was the model, the dimensions played more like CitiField, as no player cleared the fence, or homered in any other capacity, during the game for the first time since 2006. However, R.T. McShane and Joe Licht both cleared the fence on a hop to record the first ground-rule doubles in JAM history.