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Finally, the Bossman has a chance to relax and train. His last vacation was cut short when an old friend got in a little trouble in Manila. He is on the balcony of the Hotel Holiday Resort in Puri, India. His trademark martini has been replaced with a fatty of local weed. As one of the four holiest pilgrimage sites in India, the consumption of marijuana and opium are completely legal in Puri. Plus, it�s the only one of the four that�s on the beach.
There have been electricity problems as of late and the power often goes out for hours at a time, killing the night life. This suits the Bossman fine and he relishes the opportunity to retire early and wake up before dawn.
Since the price of marijuana is about $1 for a tola (10 to 12 gr.), the Bossman snubs out the reefer while it is only half finished. He s had enough for now and he has plans to go to the Peace Restaurant for dinner, so he discards the roach and gets on his way.
The Peace restaurant has a very nice atmosphere and I have eaten there many times. The Bossman has as well, and he has already asked the chef to prepare a three pound lobster that one of the local fishermen caught and sold to him for 70 rupees, or just under $2. The restaurant charges him 25 rupees to cook it and the result is excellent. He brings his own Vox vodka as alcohol is very expensive and hard to come buy in Puri. He takes a martini glass out of his backpack, swirls a little vermouth in the glass and pours in the chilled Vox vodka. He garnishes it with two cocktail onions and an almond stuffed olive.
By the time his martini is finished, the munchies kick in and his dinner is served. The lobster is served with Peace Restaurant�s most famous dish: it�s freshly made potato chips, fresh out of the deep fryer. A bowl of rice is included with the meal. The waiter grins and tells him that he has a bottle of Chardonnay and wonders if he would be interested in it. The Bossman smiles and accepts, knowing that the bottle of wine will cost more than all the marijuana he has smoked in the month he has been here. One�s palate is one�s window to the world.
The Chardonnay is passable, but the lobster increases its value tenfold. He graciously pays the 700 rp. bill and walks home. He feels that it is a special day, so he decides to break out the gram of opium he bought his first day here for 20 rupees, or about 60 cents. He rolls a two paper joint with a gram of pot and half a gram of opium. He slowly smokes it and watches the beautiful sunset of Puri. What a place it is! People are sitting on the beach smoking pot, freaks from all around the world are congregating and the local fishermen are pulling a 200 yard long net onto the beach, pulling in the day�s meager catch. As the effects of the Opium kick in, he retires to his bed.
Opium is a wonderful drug, especially when mixed with marijuana. The martini and the bottle of Chardonnay don�t hurt, either. When one is taking a potent drug like opium, one must be very careful. There are many dangers inherent in the ingestion of said drugs. The Bossman, like always, is careful. He makes sure his discman is set to continuous play, so that the CD doesn�t stop suddenly, ruining the high.
He has several CDs lined up for his enjoyment this evening, and he knows the importance of music in the enjoyment of drugs. He first puts on the great Karma by Pharaoh Sanders, starting with the great The Creator Has a Master Plan, which is tailor made for the consumption of hard drugs. The opium dream doesn�t begin until he closes his eyes.
Suddenly, he is a fish, swimming in the ocean. Opium is like virtual reality. Whatever you think of, it feels like you�re there, doing it! He IS a fish! the water feels so clean and so pure, and he feels like he can swim anywhere. It is so wonderful to be able to move in three dimensions, like the Bossman is able to fly. He sees a group of badass looking fishes that look like they want to start something, so he intentionally swims right in front of their path, disturbing them.
It is a fight! The first fish comes and the Bossman slaps him away with one swipe of his mighty tail. The next fish meets the same fate. Finally, the third fish rushes him and he slips the rush and rams him in the side. The fishes are running for cover! The Bossman wins!
Feeling cocky as ever, the Bossman swims freely through the open water. He can go anywhere! He can do anything! Suddenly, he is out of control. He is being pulled somewhere and he can�t stop. He is caught in a net! For fifteen minutes, he is inexorably pulled towards the beach. He can�t stop.
Finally, he is dragged on to the suffocating beach. He is dying! Several fishermen debate over his probable value as he dies, helplessly.
Suddenly, the music changes and becomes sweet again. He is a bird. The Creator Has a Master Plan! It is true! He is a bird! Life is beautiful! He is singing and loving life!
The Bossman opens his eyes. He rips the CD from the discman and vows to never use it again when he�s getting high. He replaces it with Susanne Vega�s debut album, which although unknown by almost everyone, is undoubtedly her best, in his view. The soothing folk music bring sweet, quiet opium dreams for the rest of the night, as he lets it play until he falls asleep.
He wakes up late, at 7:00AM. As he didn�t have very much to drink, he has no hangover, and he didn�t take enough opium to have the sickness, so he gets his gym bag ready to go out and train.
As he begins his jog to where he usually does his daily training, his cell phone rings. Having laid dormant for so long, he is surprised to hear Home on the Range again. He picks it up and says, �Bossman here.�
�This is the Disco Inferno,� the man on the other end of the line says.
�Oh shit, boy,� the Bossman replies. �What did you do now?�
�Nothing. I�m just on my way to Katmandu and wondered if you�d like to meet me there.�
�I�d be glad to, boy,� he laughs. �I�ve been here too long already.�
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