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The Following Bossman story is dedicated to glenwo2
It is a hot and humid day as the Bossman and
the Disco Inferno get off the plane from
Manila to Osaka. They are there for the
puroyo-yo competition and to compete and the
All Japan card scheduled for that week in
Hiroshima. They take the train to Umeda
station and catch the Shinkasen to Hiroshima.
The Disco Inferno is unusually quiet.
�This is my first time in Japan,� he says, �how�s the wrestling here?�
�It�s stiff, boy,� the Bossman replies. �Just don�t let them grab a hold of you and you�ll do fine. Heh, heh.�
�When did you start doing yo-yo�s, Ray?�
�When I was in the Marines. I was known as such a badass that I could get away with anything. There were these tough looking dudes and I�d stand around doing rock the baby or some other trick and they�d start something. I�d just pound them away. It was all in good fun.�
The two friends get off the train and take the subway to the Hiroshima Kokusai Hotel. After checking in, they meet in the bar.
�We got a pretty good match, boy,� the Bossman says as he gulps his vodka martini, �we�re going to team up against Stan Hansen and Rob Van Damn.�
�Let me guess. I take the Western Lariat and the J-O-B, right?�
�No, I talked to Mrs. Baba and Kawada. They said they don�t care who wins as long as Hansen doesn�t get pinned and there�s a Lariat after the match is over. Hansen is a good old boy and he won�t mind making it a shoot.�
�A WHAT!?!?!?�
�Shoot, son,� the Bossman laughs, �it�s time to separate the boys from the men. If you�ll excuse me, I have to warm up for the big yo-yo competition tomorrow.�
The Bossman chugs the rest of his martini, pats the bewildered Disco Inferno on the back, puts three thousand yen on the bar and goes upstairs. The Disco Inferno turns to the bartender and says, �double bourbon. Straight, no chaser.�
The next morning, a very hung over Disco Inferno meets the Big Bossman in the lobby of the hotel. They take a taxi to the Peace Memorial Park, where the competition is to take place. The Bossman registers for the event and is given a paper number �52� to attach to the back of his shirt.
The competition begins. As the only participant over 17 years old, the Bossman stands out in the crowd. The first five contestants come and go and the Bossman deems that he is a cinch to win.
It is the Bossman�s turn. The music hits and he begins with a pinwheel to a double or nothing to a double man on the flying trapeze to a very difficult barrel roll/dismount combo. Then he gets into a more complicated routine which goes from a splitting the atom to a hydrogen bomb to an atomic bomb.
The crowd is appalled at his choice of moves in the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park and start to boo the Bossman. He continues to do atomic bomb/splitting the atom combinations and the crowd gets very agitated. The boos increase and finally the anger reaches a fever pitch. When the Bossman does his third version of the atomic bomb, a fight breaks out.
A young man shouts, �die, yankeee!� and rushes the Bossman. While doing an impressive around the world to a one handed man on the flying trapeze mount to a reverse around the world, he hits the young man with a side suplex.
Another man rushes the Bossman and he nails his attacker with a forward pass to the nose, rendering him unconscious. Then, using two Cold Fusion yo-yo�s, he proceeds to beat all his attackers into submission. As the last contestant standing, the judges award him the yo-yo championship.
Carrying his trophy back to the hotel, he tells the Disco Inferno, �see? Japan�s pretty easy. You�ll have no trouble with Stan Hansen. He�s a pussy cat.�
�Is he the guy who broke Bruno Sammartino�s neck?� the Disco Inferno asks.
�Yes, but that was a long time ago. His wrestling style has totally changed since then.�
�Good. I�m going to the gym to train.�
The two friends split off and meet at the bar later that night. The bartender bows and turns to the Disco Inferno, asking, �double boulbon, sa?�
DI winces and replies that he�d like a shirley temple. The Bossman gets his trademark vodka martini. After a few more cocktails, they retire for the night and prepare for the match the next day.
The Bossman arrives early to the Peace Memorial Hall, where he meets Stan Hansen. He approaches the battle tested veteran and says, �what�ya think of this Rob Van Damn you�re wrestling with?�
�That stupid, goddamn son of a bitch is the gayest wrestler I�ve ever seen. He�s even worse than that jobber you�re stuck with.�
�The Disco Inferno is all right,� the Bossman says. �I want to see how he�ll do in a shoot, so don�t go easy on him. I�ll promise to beat the hell out of Mr. Van Dumb. Then we can have a couple of cocktails after the fight.�
�No, my wife doesn�t let me, and I don�t drink,� Stan Hansen replies. �There�s a nice performance at the Kabuki Theater if you�re interested.�
�Sorry. I�m not into all that cultural crap. I�ll see you at the match.�
The Big Bossman and the Disco Inferno make their ring entrance and await the appearance of Stan Hansen and RVD. As their opponents step through the ring ropes, the Bossman steps back to the corner so DI and RVD can begin the match.
The Disco Inferno does quite well against RVD, blocking most of his slow round house kicks and scoring with a couple of uppercuts. A staggered RVD tags in Hansen, who proceeds to pound the living crap out of the Disco Inferno.
The Disco Inferno tags in the Big Bossman and the two veterans go to war. In a flurry of strikes, throws and holds, the two men put on a performance that brings the crowd of 50,000 to their feet. Stan Hansen tags in RVD.
It is a mismatch. Hansen laughs in the corner as RVD is taken to school by the Bossman. RVD is ready to go, as the Bossman has hit him with three side suplexes. Bossman tags in the Disco Inferno and puts RVD on the top turnbuckle.
Hansen doesn�t mind seeing his pathetic excuse for a partner being pinned, but he�ll be damned if he loses a match to some son of a bitch named the Disco Inferno. He runs in the ring. The Bossman tackles him and they roll to the outside. DI is climbing the ropes...
LAST DANCE OFF THE TOP ROPE! One! Two! Threeeeeeee!
The Bossman�s music hits and he rolls into the ring, collecting DI, so they can make a quick escape. Hansen is pissed. His man got pinned by some gimmick wrestler. He runs into the ring.
LARIATOOOOOOOO! Rob Van Damn is down! He isn�t moving! He has to be carried out!
Later, when the boys are sharing two shirley temples and a vodka martini, Hansen says, �well, I�m sure that stupid son of a bitch won�t be coming back to All Japan again. He lost to a jobber. No offense, Glen.�
�None taken,� the Disco Inferno replies.
�Well, Glen held his own in a shoot and came out with a win. I guess we can call him one of our own now,� the Bossman says.
�Agreed,� says Stan Hansen. And the three friends click glasses, drink and order another round.
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