Get your own Free Home Page
The Bossman steps off the plane and sets foot on Nepal for the first time. Nepal is a valley country, surrounded by the Himalayas, and is home to the largest mountains in the world. He takes a taxi to Freak St., where he gets a room at the Hotel Yak and Yeti. The Disco Inferno meets him in the lobby and the two friends shake hands.
�How was your trip, Ray,� the Disco Inferno asks.
�Just about as good as it gets on India Air,� the Bossman replies.
�Indian Air! You�re crazy!�
�Speaking of crazy, have you ever tackled the Anapura Circuit?�
�Anapura Circuit? I thought we were just here to smoke a little of the local loco weed.�
�We can do that on the Anapura Circuit. The trekking ain�t that difficult and we on�t have to do any mountain climbing or anything. I�ve always wanned ta� go and it�ll make a man out of you, boy.�
�Sure. Should we leave tomorrow?�
�What? You want to die of altitude sickness? We�ll leave in six days,� the Bossman laughs as he walks out the lobby and down the street.
�Altitude sickness? Die?!? I don�t know what you�re getting me into, Ray.�
The Bossman leads the Disco Inferno down the street and to look for a restaurant. He doesn�t know the area, so he enters one called the Blue Sky Cafe. As he walks in, he comments that it reminds him of a similar restaurant in Calcutta.
The Bossman orders eight strips of bacon, three hard boiled eggs, four slices of toast and a bottle of water, unopened. The Disco Inferno orders spaghetti with meatballs. They eat in silence.
Finally, as the Bossman belches away the last trace of gas accrued from his meal, he asks the Disco Inferno what he has been doing the past couple of months.
�Wrestling,� DI replies. �I held the cruiserweight title for awhile, but then they made me job it to some chick who was sleeping with Vince Russo, who maintains that titles don�t mean nothing. I quit WCW.�
�Good move. That place is a cesspool. What are you going to do next, son?�
�Well, as you know, I�m independently wealthy. I�m going to take it easy for awhile and then make a run at the WWF.�
The men pay for the meal and depart. They spend the next few days resting, planning for the trip and pursuing noxious weeds. The Bossman carefully decides what equipment to take. He has his hiking boots and Thorlo socks, but he needs a tube tent and a sleeping bag, among other things, which he acquires with ease.
Finally it is time to begin the trek. The men take it easy the first day, only traveling about 12 miles. It is a difficult 12 miles, though, going up and down tall inclines. They stay the night at a tea house in the middle of the mountains, where they buy food to continue them on the next day.
�Will we complete the circuit today,� the Disco Inferno asks.
�Heh, heh, heh,� the Bossman laughs, �we�ve got eight or nine days to go. Seven if we�re lucky.
The men travel another 17 miles, camp in a clearing and cook some rice with a bag of vegetables the Bossman picked up at the tea house.
They wake up early the next morning and the Bossman cooks some more rice and puts a pot of coffee near the fire. They trek another 15 miles before they stop for the night at a tea house. The Bossman buys some dried yak meat, vegetables and rice and they stay the night.
�I bet you feel stupid for wearing that stupid disco shirt of yours, boy,� the Bossman laughs, but the Disco Inferno trudges on in silence.
Two days later, they are in a very remote part of the Anapura Range. They took an alternate route so that they could see an unnamed lake that was recommended to them by a fellow traveler. It is late at night. They hear a noise.
�What was that?� Disco Inferno asks.
�I don�t know,� the Bossman replies. �I�m going to check it out.�
The Bossman takes out his flashlight and points it in the direction of the noise. All he sees is a flash and some large creature running off. Curious as to what it might be, he takes a few steps in the direction the creature went, but it is gone. He walks back to the tents and says, �it was jest a rabbit,� and the men fall back asleep.
The next day, the Bossman looks for signs of the creature he thought he saw last night, but there is no trace, as if someone had come back and cleaned up any sign of its existence. The men trek on.
The terrain is difficult, and they only manage to travel 7 or 8 miles. That night, the men hear the same sound, but see no sign of the creature the next day. The Bossman reassures the Disco Inferno that it is a rabbit, but he knows better.
11 more miles the next day and they reach the unnamed lake. They look out at the majesty of the lake and the snow capped peaks surrounding it. They know that they are in one of the most isolated places in the world. It gives them a feeling of pride and accomplishment. At just that instant, Home on the Range beeps on the Bossman�s cellular phone.
�Goddamit, why are you messing up my vacation, boy!� he yells at the other end of the line.
�This is Jerry Flynn,� the man on the other end says. �I�m in Tibet and I heard you were in the area.�
�Jerry, my good friend! Good to hear from ya! Yeah. I�m near some lake in the middle of Nepal, being stalked by some creature.�
The Disco Inferno�s head turns to him in shock.
�I�ll be out here at least a week or two. Are you in Lasha?�
�Yeah. I�m trying to find this one guy, Chun Hua. He�s supposed to live out here.�
�Well, it�s nice to hear from you. I might stop into Lasha to look for you.� The Bossman closes the phone and puts it back in his pocket.
�Wait, what did you say about that creature?� the Disco Inferno�s shaky voice ekes out.
�Oh, that rabbit I�ve been telling you about. It�s �bout eight feet tall and looks like it�s about 600 pounds. I saw it followin� us today.�
�Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit...�
Slap! �Get it together, boy. I never heard of anyone actually being attacked by one of these Yeti.�
�You-you-you mean the Abominable Snowman?�
�Sure. I always thought it was some sort of myth, but this one�s fur� real.�
�What are we going to do?�
�Well, I�m going fishin�,� the Bossman says and takes a rod and reel out of his backpack. He finds a good spot and tosses his line in. He puts his hat over his head and falls asleep.
The Disco Inferno, after spending three hours writing his Last Will and Testament, starts a fire as nightfall is approaching. The Bossman appears with several fish in each hand. �We�re havin� fish for supper,� he says.
The Bossman is as relaxed as ever as he cleans the fish and makes a rice meal with them. He saves the bones for soup the next morning.
�Welllll?� a frazzled Disco Inferno asks, �what are we going to do?�
�Well, I�m going to heat up a pot of coffee. Want some?�
�I�m serious, Ray. This thing�s after us! What are we going to do?�
�I�m going to fight it,� he says and falls asleep.
Late that night, the Yeti is nearing the camp. He smells the fresh meat and sees that the men are asleep in their tents. He slowly creeps up to the first tent and...
The Bossman grabs him from behind! He has the behemoth in a waist lock and gives him a release German Suplex. The Yeti gets up, beats its chest and howls. The Disco Inferno gets up from soiled sleeping bag and grabs a stick from the fire.
�We can scare it off with fire!� he yells.
�Well, look at Mr. Genius,� the Bossman yells back. �I�m gonna� kick its ass! AAAAUuuuuugh!�
The Bossman, ready with his deadly nightstick, charges the beast and strikes it in the knees with deadly accuracy. The Yeti swipes at him, but the Bossman deftly ducks it, countering with his trademark uppercut to the chin. He follows up with several strikes to the creature�s body, but the creature shows no effects from the strikes. It rears back and backhands the Bossman flat on his back. It moves in for the kill...
And the Disco Inferno jumps on its back, choking it with one arm, shoving the flaming stick in its face with the other. �I have FIRE!!!� he yells. �I am your GOD! I have FIRE! AAAHAAA... woah woah WOAH! Oh SHIT!�
The Disco Inferno is flying head over heels though the air, having been dislodged from the creature�s back with one deft throw. The creature rears up and roars. It charges the Bossman. SIDE SUPLEX! SIDE SUPLEX! SIDE SUPLEX! The creature is running away!
�Well, we taught that sombitch a lesson,� the Bossman remarks.
�I want my mommy,� the Disco Inferno cries.
�Get it together, Glen. We have a long way to hike tomorrow.�
The Disco Inferno quickly cries himself to sleep, but the Bossman lies awake, having defeated his greatest opponent to date: the great Yeti.
Get your own Free Home Page