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The music hits and DI comes to the ring to mild applause. Next comes the Bossman, whose Road Warrior ripoff theme song inspires the fans to their feet. As he enters the ring, he knows that it would be much easier to get rid of DI right away so that the two of them won't gang up on him. So as soon as DI rushes him, he puts him in the Side Suplex for the pin. DI lies unconscious outside the ring while the Bossman awaits the entrance of Jerry Flynn.
To entertain the crowd, he takes out five nightsticks and does a spectacular juggling routine. He starts off a five nightclub cascade, first with double spins, then with triples, and then shocking all the jugglers in the audience with quadruples. As a finale he does the impossible Mill's Mess with five nightclubs! All the jugglers in the audience run away in tears at the mere presence of his greatness.
Jerry Flynn's music hits. The Bossman knows that this will be his most difficult match to date. He has pinned all the greats: Kane, Sting, the Crock, the Big Show and many, many others. But he has never faced the Lightning Foot (except one squash when Flynn was a jobber).
The Bossman gets on the mic, "I'm making this a Jailhouse Rules match, boy, so that means no disqualificashun! On top of that, I'm making this a Kennel from Hell Match. Jerry Flynn hadn't seen the cages suspended above the Pontiac Silverdome, as he had been driven in by limosine. Still, he is not fazed.
The cage is lowered. The Hell in the Cell is lowered, decapitating an unconscious DI. The Bossman laughs as the Rotweilers are released and instantly begin devouring DI's decapitated body. "Heh, heh," he says, "that's what I did to Paul Wight Sr."
The match begins. Bossman puts three of the nightsticks, along with the panties and hotel room keys that women have thrown him in a pile in the corner. He takes one nightstick in each hand, using the long end to protect his forearms from Flynn's dangerous feet. Flynn throws a dangerous one-two-three kick combination. Bossman deflects the first two by hitting Flynn in the shins, but the third one hits him in the jaw. It doesn't hurt him much, but he sells it well by throwing his head to the side and spitting, making it look like he lost a tooth.
Flynn is a little off balance from being hit in the shins so accurately, so the Bossman goes in for the kill. He hits him over and over with the batons, forcing Flynn to one knee. He pauses to turn to the crowd and yell, "shut up, boy!"
When he turns around, Flynn is on his feet, no selling the baton strikes. What follows is a flurry of baton strikes, kicks, punches and throws that outdoes any Bruce Lee or Jacky Chan movie. Eventually, the Bossman gets the edge and hits Flynn with his dreaded version of the Side Suplex, which cost DI his life.
The dogs, sated from a fine meal of the late DI, do not attack Bossman on his way to the door. Flynn makes one last attempt to stop Bossman, but it is futile. He is too hurt and he is too far away. The Bossman exits the Hell in the Cell to win the match.
Jerry Flynn shakes his hand, acknowledging that they are both proven warriors. He helps the Bossman collect the panties and hotel keys that the women continue to throw in the ring. Bossman gives Flynn a few of each, and wishes him a happy night.
As they walk out of the arena, Bossman sees a young fan crying over the fallen DI, trying to drag his corpse out of the Hell in the Cell, and being fought by the dogs over it. Bossman gets on the mic and says, "you're a nasty bastard, boy!" And the two friends exit to a standing ovation from 120,000 at the Silverdome.
Wrestling Cartoons I just wanted to bring up that stupid cartoon that used to be on.
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