You know, I like a little romance as much as the next guy. The key word there would be "guy". While I really enjoy those candlelight dinners, at some point, being a guy, I'm going to end up playing with the candles and marveling over how the hot wax when peeled off my finger shows my fingerprint. This doesn't show a lack of interest in the point of the evening as much as it shows the ability guys have to take any situation and turn it into another way to get ourselves in trouble. That usually happens when she notices our attention is on the candle and not on her or when the candle turns over and spills wax on the antique hand-sewn embroidered table cloth that belonged to her great grandmother. Either way, the evening is tarnished and it's our fault. Oh yea! Did I mention the table cloth was white and the candle wax was red?
It also doesn't matter what form the romantic interlude takes. We can find a way to make it worse than she could have possibly imagined. That romantic walk on the beach gets ruined when the guy gets playful and stomps in the water, splashing her. How was I suppose to know the sand in the water would hit her full force right in the eye resulting in a trip to the emergency room for a $500 eyewash? How could I have possibly known the beautiful sundress she was wearing was imported silk to which water was a dreaded enemy? Does it sound like I have been there? You betcha! I don't do anything without getting in trouble unless there are no women within 50 miles. After all, I am a guy.
I have learned over the years to be a bit more sensitive to women's needs but some of the lessons I learned during my insensitive years were almost worth it. I learned how to cook after the Christmas I proudly presented my wife with her gift of the finest cookware. It was months before she would even go back in the kitchen. The only thing that got her back was a $2000 tennis bracelet. Even then the lesson was lost on me. The very next Christmas I gave her a vacuum cleaner and spent the next year doing all the vacuuming. After that I never gave her anything useful. I'm one of the smart ones. I only have to burn myself a few times to figure out it's hot.
What most women don't seem to understand is how much we really do love them even if we're really stupid about showing it. I really didn't want to go to her sister's big wedding shindig but she really wanted me there. I still don't see what the harm was in having the transistor radio hooked to my ear so I could listen to the game. Heck! She never would have known if it hadn't been for the touchdown that caused me to jump up and scream "YES" right after the preacher asked if anyone knew a reason the couple shouldn't get married. Talk about bad timing! At least I was willing to go.
Us guys also have a tendency to forget things or to just get them all wrong. Years ago, as our anniversary approached, I started to make plans for the big night. I planned for a babysitter, reservations at the nicest restaurant in town, and even a show after dinner. As the day drew close I mentioned to her not to make plans for that Friday night as I had a surprise for her. I will have to admit she was a trouper. The night went perfectly. The babysitter showed up right on time. The dinner at the restaurant was superb. The show was the best I have ever seen. Then when we got home we had a romantic evening sipping wine and, well, you know what else. After all that was done, and as she held me close, she softly whispered, "This night was like something out of a fairy tale. I can't imagine what you're going to do to top it next week for our anniversary".
Despite all our shortcomings, you have to admit most of us do try. It's just not in our nature to be efficient at romance. I will admit, however, that as we get older, no, I was going to lie and say we get better. It's not that at all. We just learn better how to cover our stupidity. Of course I know you ladies see right through it no matter how wise or cunning we think we are. I just thank the Lord you still love us. |
