It is said, according to leading expert spunk monkey, Wonda Monihes, that the "establishment as often denied the existence of this wonderful and beautiful creature, to continue the belief that humans are superior to all animals."
The spunk monkey is 7 inches, extraordinarily hairy (even for a monkey) and pot-bellied. It was also said to have extreme intellegence (see later in article), a thirst for rock music and to be extremely horny - for all of its natural life, even trying to mate with teenagers, at the age of eighty-four (all spunk monkeys died at eighty-four and a half). Many people describe the spunk monkey as a cross between a monkey, a gorilla, a pig and Peter Stringfellow.
The spunk monkey as been attributed to :
Being William the Conqueror's bodyguard and advisor
Beheading Charles the 1st
Being mistaken for being the infamous Yeti - when one had a severe bout of dandruff
Inventing 'Head and shoulders'
Resolving the 2nd World War
Causing several members of the public to wet their pants
Writing Shakespeare's works
Having sex with Ulria Johnsun (or someone with a similar name?!)
Being Bill Clinton
And causing the Lords severe mental problems.
Wonda Monihes has shown me several artifacts - before they were doctored - with the actual spunk monkeys in them - please look - it'll open your eyes...............
