The latest suspected terrorist attack on planes has brought highly restrictive measures to counter-act the same, imposed by the various authorities. They can only be enforced over the short term. In the long term, such measures would spell the demise of air travel on the scale to which we have become used, and indeed to what is projected. Perhaps that would be a good thing in many ways, but it isn't going to happen in the foreseeable future. Perhaps in 15-20 years time every citizen of this country will be given a voucher to travel, say twice per annum short-haul, and once long-haul, unless you are a politician of course.

Right now we have to protect air travelers. The best way may well be to x-ray each and every passenger. Wearisome! What about health hazards? Will BA or the BAA be sued for causing potential health hazards? Do my ribs not have the human right no to be leered at by strangers?

Carrying bombs, or more particularly the elements to make up a bomb, in flight is going to be a mega problem. Shoe bombs? Passe. We know about those. Liquids carried in after shave bottles etc? We are looking for those right now.

The obvious orifices, used to smuggle contraband into prison, for example, since time immemorial, must feature high on the terrorist agenda. X-rays would detect bomb parts inserted in these, but x-rays are not available on a large scale as yet.

One would have to recruit a whole army of security staff with a pre-disposition to put their fingers/hands up anuses and vaginas. That may happen, as there are enough perverts out there who would obtain great job satisfaction from such employment. But what about the tampon bomb, as I shall call it. You've got to be pretty keen to want to interfere with a woman's tampon when she is menstruating. This is the way forward for the terrorists. Combustible substances can be contained within a false tampon. Several women travelling on the same flight can then combine these, cause and explosion, and go to paradise. We would the need tampon profiling, which is not as stupid as it sounds.

Now dear reader, don't think this is tacky, a little tongue in cheek perhaps, but it will, or is already being taken seriously.