John Albano
D.O.B - 10/12/86 B.C.
DRUMS, Backup Vocals, Glazed Donut.
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Larz McPhizz John Albano D.O.B - 10/12/86 B.C. |
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| BAND POSITIONS DRUMS, Backup Vocals, Glazed Donut. |
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| Well, how to begin. In the later years of the Greek Empire, Zeuss called upon his most trusted warrior, me, Lazarus Phizzmicius. He told me to go to the land of Gangazoolorgans and kill King Ollagrangphoniandor, so Zeuss could sleep with his daughter. Naturally I kicked Zeus's ass because Greek god's are lame and I'm not. But using his last bit of energy, Zuess pushed me off a big cliff into a pit of molten lava. Three billion years later, German archeologist, Hanz Speldming, dug up some dirt and found a thing that he thought was a valuable rock, but it was really me and I kicked his ass and stole his wallet. Now that I was reborn, my name changed to Larz McPhizz, because it sounded cooler. I headed off down the road, with no real plan for the future. I stumbled upon a quiet little truck stop. There, I befriended a vigilante trucker who was on his way to the San Rio, Nevada to beat up some other truckers who screwed him over in a game of Russian Roulette. This man was Crispen Lip Service. He made me an honorary trucker, but when I got mad he said I could be a full fledged trucker. So we went off to get in fights. We arrived at the other truckers hide out. We got out of Crispen's big rig and looked around. Suddenly, two dudes jumped out of the sky. They were Donny Suicide and Mescaline Jones! We started fighting eachother, and I, being a Greek warrior, kicked the most ass. We realised however that the fight would never end, so we just sat around and ate Doritos and listened to KISS. But suddenly, the wall of our apartment fell down, and there stood Buster Badshot, the most terrible trucker in all the land! We tried to fight him, but he beat us badly. But before he could finish us off, I threw I train at him. The train exploded on impact and killed us all. Three years later, a wizard brought us back to life with supernatural music powers! Immedietly, we knew that we would have to put aside our differences make a band. Buster, being as charasmatic as Fidel Castro, took over the singing stuff. Donny was in charge of the boardkeys. Crispen became the guitarist extraordinaire. Jones played de bass bass. And I was the drummer, because I liked hitting things hard. We got a gig in some kids back yard. As we were playing, Zeuss emerged from the ground, totally pissed that I kicked his ass centuries before. He was going to blow us up, but we laid out a hot jam and knocked the pants off of him. And now he's in hell. |
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