�It�s a wedding, Case. You�re supposed to be enjoying yourself.�
�I am enjoying myself, Danny.�
�No you�re not. I�ve seen you enjoying yourself. This,� he waved a hand at Casey, �is not it.�
Casey took a long slow sip of his drink and tried to resist the urge to throw it in Dan�s face. He couldn�t afford to waste that much alcohol. Not tonight. �In my own defense, you don�t seem to be having much more fun than I am,� he remarked.
Dan sighed and slumped down into the chair beside him. �That�s because I�m stuck Caseysitting.�
�You mean when you could be off wooing women?�
�Precisely. There�s no better place to woo women than a wedding, Casey. They�re starting to feel desperate. Their clocks are ticking. I�m telling you, man�they�re ripe for the picking tonight.�
Casey snorted indelicately. �Are they.�
�They are, my friend. And you should be taking advantage of it. As should I, for that matter.�
�Look, no one stuck you on Casey detail. You did that to yourself. So by all means, go. Woo.�
�He has,� Natalie informed him, coming up to lean on the back of Dan�s chair. �He failed.�
A tiny smirk pulled at Casey�s lips. �You failed?� he asked, turning to Dan.
�I did not fail,� Dan replied indignantly. �I just��
�Crashed and burned?� Natalie supplied helpfully.
�rrrrrrrrPFFFFGGGGHHH!!� added Will on his way by the table.
Dan blinked at Will�s retreating back for a moment, then turned back to defend himself. �I will have you know, Natalie, that I am an accomplished wooer of women.�
�I find that a little hard to believe, since you can�t seem to find one woman at this wedding who�ll dance with you.�
Dan frowned. �Dana danced with me.�
�Ok, let me rephrase. You can�t find one woman who isn�t the bride who�ll dance with you.�
��Ripe for the picking,� huh, Danny?� Casey asked with a grin.
�Don�t talk to me.� He turned back to Natalie. �I can woo,� he told her sulkily.
�Woo me.�
�Huh?�
�Prove it. Woo me.�
He raised an eyebrow at her. �Well I can�t woo you.�
�I rest my case.�
�No, I mean�you�re�you know�pre-wooed.�
�Pre-wooed?�
He waved a hand across the room at Jeremy, who was engrossed in an animated discussion with Elliot that involved a lot of hand gestures and arm waving. �You�re taken.�
�Didn�t stop you with Rebecca,� she said, and Dan�s frown deepened dangerously, his eyes shifting away quickly. Casey was sure that Natalie couldn�t see the sudden pain there, but he saw it, and it made him frown too.
�Dan was just telling me that I�m not having a good enough time,� he informed her. �Why don�t you come dance with me so I can prove that I�m being suitably festive?� He stood and took her arm, leading her towards the dance floor. When he glanced back, Dan�s expression had faded from hurt to faintly amused, and he felt himself relax a little. Another disaster averted. It seemed that these days everything was a potential disaster with Danny, and he was finding it harder and harder to keep things from collapsing in around them.
�You know, nobody blames you for being less than festive,� Natalie told him as she slipped her arms up to his neck and he rested his hands lightly on her hips.
He frowned down at her. �What do you mean?�
She shrugged. �Well, Dana�s getting married to Sam. You can�t tell me that doesn�t hurt a little.�
He sighed. He knew this conversation had been coming for a while. �It doesn�t.�
And it was true. When Dana had come to him that night to tell him that Sam had proposed, there hadn�t been any anger or sadness. There had been a little jealousy, of course, but the thing that surprised him was that it wasn�t jealousy that Sam had Dana. It was more that they had both found someone that they were going to be happy with for the rest of their lives. He had thought he had found it with Lisa, but he�d been wrong, and now he was beginning to believe that he was never going to find it at all.
�You know, you don�t have to lie to me,� she said, looking up at him expectantly, and he discovered that it was the first time in his years of working with her that he had ever found Natalie genuinely annoying.
�I�m not lying, Nat,� he said, and something in his tone must have gotten through to her, because she drew back a little and he saw her sudden belief of his words in her eyes.
�Then what�s wrong?� she asked, and he wanted to laugh, because these days, what wasn�t?
�What do you mean?� he asked instead.
�Well, you�ve been all�� she shrugged, �I guess the best way to put it is out of sorts lately, and we all thought it was because of Dana getting married.�
�Well it�s not,� he said shortly.
�Then what is it?� she asked, and he found that he wasn�t annoyed anymore because this time she was asking out of concern, not out of some gossipy need to know everything about everyone.
He didn�t answer her, but he knew that her eyes followed his as he glanced over at Dan, who had moved across the room to join Kim and Dave�s conversation, and was laughing at something Dave was saying. But even from here, Casey could see that his smile never reached his eyes.
�Is something wrong with Dan?� Natalie asked, and Casey was horrified to feel tears abruptly threatening to choke his voice as he tried to reply. Her eyes widened with sudden concern, and he didn�t know whether to feel mortified or grateful as she quickly took his arm and steered him off the dance floor, across the room, and outside to an abandoned patio.
He sank down onto a stone bench and she perched uneasily next to him. He propped his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands for a minute. When he started to talk he didn�t bother lifting his head, and his words were muffled against his palms. �Of course there�s something wrong with him, Natalie. He�s not�he�s not even himself anymore. And I feel like�� he lifted his head to look at her. �I feel like I�m the only one that�s noticing, I�m the only one who can tell, and I�m starting to think that I�m the one who�s going crazy.�
�You think he�s going crazy?� she asked, and he wondered vaguely how her eyes could possibly get that big.
�I�I don�t know. I don�t know what�s wrong with him. I just know�I know he�s not Danny anymore. Not my Danny�the one I met all those years ago. He�s�� he shook his head, trying to put his thoughts into some kind of coherent order. �Losing Rebecca again just about killed him, you know? I mean, once was bad enough, but then she came back, she promised him that things were over between her and Steve, and then eight months later she went back to him again. It killed him. He came to my place that night, and he cried for hours. He thinks there�s something wrong with him, that he somehow drove her away or something. And he won�t talk to anyone. He stopped seeing Abby, he won�t talk to me anymore�and I just don�t know what to do. Because he�s falling apart and nobody can see it but me. And I can�t fix it for him.�
�God, Casey, I�� she trailed off and shook her head, falling silent for a few moments. �You know,� she said eventually, �it�s not your job to fix everything for him.�
He let out a bitter laugh. �If I don�t, who�s going to?�
�I��
She was cut off by Kim opening the patio door and sticking her head out. Casey was grateful for the shadows, because they hid his bloodshot eyes. �Sorry, guys,� she said, �but Dana�s asking for Natalie.�
Natalie opened her mouth to say something, but Casey cut her off. �Ok, Kim. She�ll be right in.� He was amazed that his voice came out normally. Kim nodded and disappeared inside again.
Natalie turned to him and frowned. �I don�t want to just��
�Look, go. It�s a wedding. I hear you�re supposed to have a good time at these things.� A thin smile ghosted across her face. �I�m sorry I�� he waved a hand, �you know�imploded.� He nodded towards the door. �Go. Have fun. This isn�t something that�s going to get fixed tonight anyways.� She nodded, but the concern didn�t leave her eyes as she stood and moved for the door. �Natalie?� he called after her.
She turned. �Thanks,� he said simply, and this time when she smiled it was almost like normal.
�Anytime, Casey. Seriously.� She gestured towards the door. �You sure you don�t want to��
�I�ll be in in a minute,� he assured her, and she nodded before disappearing.
He took a few deep breaths and wished briefly that there was a convenient bathroom somewhere so he could throw some water on his face. He debated going back inside to do it, but then he was assaulted by the thought of having to walk through a ballroom full of people, and he started to feel mildly sick. It was probably better to stay here for the time being.
He tilted his head back against the stone railing behind him and watched the stars for a few minutes. He didn�t lift his head when the door opened again, because he really didn�t feel like talking to Natalie anymore. She probably wouldn�t take the hint, but it was worth a shot.
�You know, this is not what I�d call having fun.�
Casey sat up so fast that there was a dangerous moment of teetering at the edge of the bench before he caught his balance. �Danny? What are you doing?�
Dan shrugged. �Natalie ran you out here like a team of angry linebackers was after you, and then she came back alone. I wanted to make sure she didn�t, you know, push you off the patio or something.�
�Nice of you,� Casey murmured as Dan flopped down next to him on the bench. He nodded at the two bottles of beer clutched in Dan�s hands. �Trying to forget the crash and burn?� he asked, and the corner of Dan�s mouth twitched up a little.
�I�ll have you know that I was just in there dancing with a spectacularly attractive woman, Casey.�
Casey fought a grin. �Was it Kim?�
Dan grinned sheepishly. �It was.� He handed over one of the beers, but as he did he seemed to see Casey�s face for the first time and he drew back a little. �Damn�Case�� he swallowed. �What did she say to you?�
Suddenly all desire to laugh was gone. �Nothing, Danny.�
�No, seriously, Casey, if Natalie said something��
�She didn�t. I swear.� He took a long sip of his beer.
�If this is about Dana��
�It�s not.�
�Case. Of course it is.�
He frowned. �Look, Danny, it has nothing to do with Dana, or Natalie, or anything else that you think it does. You don�t know everything about me, okay?�
Dan looked taken aback for a moment, and Casey thought he was going to get mad in response, but when he replied his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. �I would if you told me.�
Casey couldn�t hold back a snort. �Oh, that�s rich, Danny, coming from you. That�s classic.�
�What the hell do you mean by that?� Dan demanded, and now he was getting mad.
It took more effort than he expected to keep himself from spilling out everything he had said to Natalie. �I mean you don�t even talk to me anymore. You don�t talk to anyone. You�re miserable, and you�re making the rest of us miserable with you, and you won�t tell anyone why!� It was easier just to get mad at him, to let out his frustration in the volume of his voice and the harshness of his words. Easier than to break down crying in front of him, which was what Casey really felt like doing.
�That�s bullshit, Case, and you know it. I haven�t been acting any differently to anyone. I get paid to make people believe that I�m in a good mood, and I�m damn good at it. You ask anyone in that room if there�s something wrong with me, and they�ll laugh at you, and you know it. You�re the only one who�s having some kind of problem with me, so what the hell does that tell you?�
�Tells me I know you better than any of them,� he said, and just like that the anger was gone.
Dan shook his head wearily. �Don�t sit there and analyze me, Casey. You don�t get that right. Not when you�re busy falling apart over Dana getting married.�
This time Casey did laugh, loudly and bitterly. �You think I�m upset about Dana?�
�You are.�
�Jesus, Danny. You know, sometimes I don�t think you know me at all.�
�I know you better than you think. Hell, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. Of course you�re upset over Dana. You�ve been secretly in love with her since God knows when, and you�re probably always going to be, and now she�s marrying someone who�s not you. You can�t tell me that doesn�t piss you off.�
�It doesn�t, because I�m not in love with her, secretly or otherwise.�
�Of course you are. Why the hell else would you be so out of it the past few weeks?�
�Because I�m watching you fall apart, Danny!� The words flew from him without any warning, without any chance for him to grab them and pull them back inside himself where they belonged, and now they were out there, hanging in the starlit darkness while Dan gaped at him with eyes he didn�t recognize.
�You said it yourself,� he continued, because there was nothing else to do. �You�ve been acting since Rebecca left. Acting for everyone at work, and for yourself, and for me, and it�s tearing you up. I can see it, Danny. You smile and you joke and you laugh, and your eyes never show anything but pain. You�ll make your way around the set and have some funny conversation with everyone in the room, and the second you get back into the office, the second you think no one�s looking at you anymore, the smile disappears and you look like you�re going to shatter into a million pieces. God, Danny�she broke you, and I�m the only one who can see it.�
�It wasn�t her, Case.�
Casey blinked at him. �Bullshit,� he said, but there was a question in his voice.
�No, I mean it. Look, it hurt when she left. You know that, I mean, you saw me that night, and I know it wasn�t pretty. But I wasn�t surprised. It was never going to last forever. I knew that. And I think�I�m starting to believe that I�m never going to find something that will last forever. I never thought I�d say it, but I look at Dana and Sam, and they�ve got it, man. I mean, I don�t know what it is, but whatever it is, they have it. Jeremy and Natalie too. I had never had that, Case. I�d never even known what it was. And I knew I wasn�t going to find it with Rebecca, but I tried anyways.�
�So you�ve what? Resigned yourself to becoming the male equivalent of a cat lady?�
Dan choked out a laugh. �No, Casey. I have no desire to be you.�
Casey smiled, then grew serious again. �Well, look, if it wasn�t her, what was it?�
�It�s just�I realized something when she left, that�s all. It doesn�t really matter what.�
�Of course it does, Danny,� Casey objected.
�Look.� Dan bit his lip. �You can�t fix everything for me, Case. I know you want to, but you can�t. There are some things that are just�they�re too big for you to change. Too crazy and impossible and ridiculous, and I don�t want to see you get hurt trying to change them.�
Casey couldn�t think of a reply to that, so he just nodded a little vaguely and took a sip from his beer which had long since gone warm. He leaned his head back to watch the stars, and next to him Dan did the same. They listened to the music and voices muffled by the doors to the ballroom, and eventually Casey spoke, still looking up at the night sky above them. �You know, she didn�t deserve you.�
Dan raised his head to look over at him. �As much as I do appreciate that, Case, I think you did enough of the supportive friend thing the night she left.�
�I�m not saying it to be supportive, Danny. I�m saying it because it�s true. She didn�t.�
�What makes you say that?�
�She hurt you.� It sounded ridiculously simplistic when he said it that way. �I mean,� he raised his head too, �she was an idiot.�
Dan smirked. �In what way?�
Casey took a deep breath and decided that there were some things that just needed to be said out loud eventually. And if all else failed, at least there was a convenient balcony to jump off. �She left you.�
He could see Dan�s neck move as he swallowed convulsively. �Case��
He didn�t let him get any further, and when their lips brushed together, he discovered that Danny�s mouth was just as soft and warm as it looked. He was just about to pull away when Dan�s hand came up to tangle in his hair, pulling him in tighter and deepening their kiss until they both leaned back, gasping for breath.
Casey sagged back against the railing, and Dan let his hand linger where it was, playing with Casey�s hair.
�Know what I realized?� Dan asked, and Casey blinked at the abrupt continuation of a conversation he wasn�t sure if they�d ever started.
�Huh?� he asked, and Dan smiled at the glazed look in his eyes.
�When Rebecca left. I told you I realized something.�
�You mean the thing that made you miserable,� Casey recalled.
�Yeah. That.�
�What was it?�
�I realized that every time something like that happened, I always ended up with you. You were the only one that I could ever let myself cry in front of. And every time, you�d sit there on your couch with me, and when I finally cried myself to sleep, you�d cover me up with one of your blankets, and you�d sit there all night with my head on your shoulder, and in the morning you�d make me pancakes, because it�s the only thing you can make without messing them up. And I was thinking the morning after Rebecca left that I was never going to find something that was going to last forever, someone who I wanted to wake up with every morning for the rest of my life. And then I realized that I didn�t need to look for it anymore, because I had you.�
Casey frowned a little. �And that made you miserable?�
�Of course it did,� Dan replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
�Why?�
�Case.� Dan was looking at him like he�d lost his mind. �You�re straight.� He paused. �I mean, you were. When did that change, by the way?�
Casey blinked. �I don�t�it hasn�t. I mean�not really.�
Dan pulled his hand back and sat up a little straighter. �Oh,� he said flatly.
�Danny�� Casey reached out to tug at his arm until he was leaning a little stiffly against Casey�s chest. �I mean I�m not, you know, attracted to guys. Just you.�
Dan snorted, but relaxed a little against Casey. �So I don�t count as a guy?�
�Please, Danny,� Casey chuckled. �I always told you you were a woman.�
�Hm, maybe that has something to do with why I couldn�t woo any tonight,� he suggested, and Casey could hear his smile in his voice.
�Mm, maybe,� Casey mumbled in agreement, resting his cheek against Dan�s hair and breathing in the scent of aftershave and shampoo.
�I made up for it, though,� Dan added, lifting his head from Casey�s shoulder and twisting around to face him.
�Oh?�
�Yeah�I wooed a guy instead.�
�Well. That works,� Casey agreed.
�You know, he still hasn�t danced with me, though.�
�Well then, I�d say you�re not very good at this wooing thing.�
Dan raised his eyebrows and scrambled to his feet, holding out a hand to Casey and asking dramatically, �May I have this dance?�
Casey chuckled. �You know I can�t dance, Danny.�
�I know. I also don�t care.�
So Casey stood and found himself wrapped tightly in Dan�s warm embrace. It wasn�t awkward at all as they swayed together to the music drifting out from the ballroom, and it surprised Casey for a moment or two before he realized that it shouldn�t. He and Dan had built up a rhythm between them over all these years, and somehow this seemed like just another extension of that.
He leaned down to press his lips against Dan�s again, and Dan let out a tiny whimper as he pulled back to catch his breath. He felt the fingers tighten on the back of his neck, and found himself being tugged back into another kiss. This time, his lips parted, and the sensation of Dan�s tongue dancing along his was almost enough to send his knees right out from under him.
The song ended, and Dan slipped out of his arms and nodded towards the door. �We should probably��
�Yeah,� Casey agreed reluctantly.
Dan reached out to tug Casey�s tie back into place, and Casey smoothed down Dan�s hair, which had ended up sticking out in all directions. Together, they made their way back into the ballroom, and then Dan was pulled off into a conversation with Natalie and Chris, and Casey was hauled onto the dance floor by Dana, and it was as if they had never left.
But when Dan�s gaze met his across the room, he could finally see a brilliant smile shining back at him through those eyes.