It's raining when he lands in Chicago, and he stands outside getting wet for more minutes than he'd care to admit before he figures out where he's going to go.
Home is out of the question, because home means Ma, and Frannie. He'd either have to tell them the truth or lie to them, and at this point, neither option is bearable. There's always a hotel, but he blew a lot of money flying back up here, and who knows how things are going to go on that front, with lawyers, and alimony, and all kinds of shit that he never wanted to go through again.
So he's standing there leaning against a wall, not even noticing the water soaking through a jacket that was made for Florida, not Illinois, and that's when he remembers the key. Because somewhere in this city there is an apartment with his name on the lease, and on his keyring is a key to that apartment.
'S your place, y'know, legally, Kowalski had said grudgingly as he shoved the key into Ray's hand. We'll figure it all out when we get back. Except that they didn't come back, him and Fraser, and now there's an apartment sitting empty while Ray stands out in the cold and the wet, being a first class idiot.
So he hails a cab and tells the driver the address. He watches the streets whip by out the window and realizes that it's not weird, being back. Maybe it will be, once it all sinks in, but he doesn't think so. Because Florida, that never stopped being weird. This�this just feels like home.
It's not a long ride to the apartment, but the rain has stopped by the time Ray's hauling himself and his suitcase up the stairs. He stands looking at the door for a minute, feeling this crazy urge to knock, but he shakes his head, chuckling a little, and unlocks it to let himself in.
The lights are off and the place is a lot neater than Ray would have expected. Kowalski struck him as kind of a slob, but things look like they're pretty much where they should be, and he realizes that somebody probably came in to ship some of his stuff up north for him. His mom maybe, since the guy didn't seem to have any friends. One of the hazards of working with Fraser, Ray figures.
He's in the process of slinging his wet coat across the back of the couch when the bedroom door opens.
He's not quite sure what kind of sound comes out of his mouth, but it's definitely not a manly one. He's got his gun out and pointing at the guy before he even registers that he's moving, and the guy's reaching to his own hip but finding only a towel there. It takes a minute, but Ray finally manages to take in the skinny hips, the long fingers, the ridiculous hair, and he can feel his mouth curving into an incredulous smile.
"Kowalski?"
He watches Kowalski's face go from alarm to suspicion to relief to outright anger in the space of about three seconds and then Kowalski's tightening the towel around his waist and advancing on Ray, who still hasn't lowered his gun.
"Vecchio, what the fuck?" he demands, wrapping his hand around the gun and shoving it down. "Jesus, you just�I mean�shit!" He's right in Ray's face, and Ray knows what's going on there, because he's got the same adrenaline running through his own blood, the same crazy rush of momentary terror making him feel like he's gonna just start climbing the walls if he doesn't punch something. "Who the fuck comes into someone else's fucking house without even�Jesus." He pulls back a little, runs a hand through his hair, which, Ray suddenly notices, is still wet from a shower.
"You were in Canada," Ray replies lamely, putting the gun away, and Kowalski sneers.
"Yeah, well, not anymore. You were in Florida."
"Yeah," Ray says, refusing to look away, not giving Kowalski that kind of satisfaction. "Well, not anymore."
Kowalski looks at him for a moment, and Ray can practically see him debating whether to rip Ray to pieces for hurting Stella, but eventually he just says "You didn't deserve her."
"You either," Ray returns, and Kowalski grins, startlingly.
"Takes one to know one," he says. "What're you doing here?"
Ray's interrupted from trying to figure out what version of the truth to tell by a voice behind him. "Ray? Who are you�" Ray turns around to see Fraser standing in the door to the bedroom, and god, he'd forgotten how freaking beautiful he was. Sure, he'd always been a good looking guy, but seeing him standing there, leaning against the doorframe, relaxed in a way that Ray had never seen him before, he looks�Ray's got no words for how he looks.
"Benny," he says, and Fraser's face splits into one of those smiles that you only get to see from him once in a million years.
"Ray," he replies, moving out from the doorway, and then Ray has an armful of warm Fraser and he can't help grinning. Unfortunately, it's Kowalski who's in the path of that grin, and he's looking, well, less than thrilled at Fraser's greeting.
"What brings you back here?" Fraser asks when he pulls back, and Ray decides to go for the simplest version of the truth.
"I just needed somewhere to crash for the night," he says, shrugging. "Last I heard, you guys were living in a box in the woods in northwest nowhere."
"Well of course you're welcome to stay, Ray," Fraser assures him, and then launches into some explanation of their return involving sled dogs and prop planes that Ray completely forgets to listen to because it's right at that moment that he realizes Fraser's not wearing a shirt, and Kowalski's just in a towel, and there's something in the way that they're looking at each other, the way that Fraser's glancing in Kowalski's direction for confirmation about parts of his story, and Kowalski's interjecting comments here and there�and all of a sudden Ray realizes that they were definitely in the process of fucking when he showed up.
"I should go," he blurts out, and Fraser freezes, looking alarmed.
"I'm sorry, Ray?"
"I should�you guys're�I didn't realize you'd be here," he finally manages. "I'll just�there's a hotel around the corner. I'll�" He's reaching for his coat, but Fraser grabs his hand, holding him still until he'll look up at him. When he does, there's confusion in those blue eyes, but behind him Kowalski's eyes are narrowed and he's looking at Ray, realization and thinly veiled hostility in his expression.
"Let him go, Fraser," Kowalski says.
"But Ray, I�"
"He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be�around us." Kowalski's eyes are flashing a challenge at Ray, saying things like you say anything to hurt him and I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be feeling it next July.
"Yes he does," Fraser says, and something in his voice drags Ray's eyes back to him. His hand is still tight around Ray's wrist, and he's close to him, leaning in, eyes intent and dark in the dim light. "Don't you, Ray?" he adds, and Ray swallows, because Fraser is half naked in front of him, and Kowalski's pretty much all naked behind Fraser, and Jesus, they were fucking, and if that wasn't enough to turn a guy on, there's Fraser's fingers, wrapped around his arm, and unless Ray's going crazy, his thumb is stroking across the skin there, gently, just a little, but god, it feels good.
"Yes," he says finally. "Yeah." Kowalski's jaw tightens, his fingers curling into fists by his side, but he does nothing, he just stands there and watches as Fraser nods slowly and releases Ray's hand.
"I thought so," he says, and then he's turning back towards Kowalski, moving towards him, right up into the guy's space, until their chests are practically touching, and he leans in to kiss him, hard, slow, and god so fucking hot. Kowalski's hands are sliding up Fraser's back, helplessly clutching onto that warm skin, and Ray's just standing there, watching, feeling utterly confused and more turned on than he's ever been in his life.
Because Jesus, this is Fraser. And he's all�hot and demanding and wanting him, wanting Kowalski, wanting both of them�and he's a guy who knows how to get what he wants, because he's standing there kissing Kowalski while Ray leans against the couch, wondering when he can feel those hands on him again.
"This is so fucked up," he says out loud, and they pull apart, Kowalski darting a look at Fraser that says see? He's just an ass, you should have let him go, but Fraser knows what Ray means.
"Is it?" he asks, crossing back to Ray, not crowding him like he did Kowalski, but just standing there, within reach. "I don't think it is, Ray. A little unconventional, perhaps, but when were we ever known to play by the rules?" And this has Ray smiling, just a little, one of those smiles that only Fraser can drag out of him. When Fraser leans in to kiss him, his lips are warm, soft, and there's nothing fucked up about it at all.
The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes again is Kowalski, looking a little turned on and a lot jealous, and Fraser turns to look at him too. "Ray," he says quietly, and he takes one hand from Ray's back to reach towards Kowalski.
Kowalski swallows visibly, his eyes darting to Ray, and then he gets that hard look in his eyes, his resolve face, and he's grabbing Fraser's hand, leaning in, kissing him hard, and then pulling away to haul Ray across the room and get right up in his face. "You here?" he asks, his breath hot on Ray's cheek, too quiet for Fraser to hear. "You doing this? Because if you fuck this thing up�if you screw with him, I swear to god, Vecchio�"
Ray cuts him off by leaning in to take his mouth with his own, feeling Kowalski's tongue sliding frantically against his, his hands clutching at Ray's ass, grinding into him, reminding him what he's getting himself into, and when Ray pulls back they're both breathless, staring at each other, daring each other to make the next move. Kowalski looks at him for a long moment, and then his eyes soften a little and he nods. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, ok," and he leans in to kiss Ray again, gentler this time, exploring rather than challenging.
When they pull apart Fraser's there beside them, and he licks his lips when Ray meets his eyes. "Ray," he says again, this time to him, and his hands are reaching between them, the backs of them skimming across Kowalski's chest as his fingers carefully undo each button on Ray's shirt. When it's open, it's Kowalski's hands that reach up to push it off his shoulders, and he shivers, more from the contact than from the sudden rush of air against his skin.
Kowalski tips his head to lean in and kiss Fraser's throat, long slow sucks, and Fraser lets his head fall back, his hands reaching out to trace across Ray's shoulders, his collarbone, his chest, and Ray leans back against the wall, letting out a moan as Fraser's fingers brush across his nipple.
There's too much skin, too many hands, and Ray fumbles for a moment, feeling Fraser's hands drifting across his ribs and watching Kowalski kissing Fraser's neck, and he can't figure out what to do, who to touch, where to put his hands or his lips or his cock, which is throbbing in his pants.
Kowalski finally pulls away, gasping for breath a little, and Fraser lets his hands fall from Ray's skin. There's a pause, a moment, not of oh shit, what are we doing, but of where do we go from here, and again it's Fraser who decides, placing one hand against the small of Kowalski's back and the other around Ray's wrist and directing them both into the bedroom.
The light's better in here, and Ray stands awkwardly by the door while Kowalski sprawls onto the bed, and he takes a minute to look at them both. Fraser, solid and beautiful, his skin pale everywhere except his face, where the sun and the wind have left their mark. Kowalski, lying on the bed, legs splayed out, looking strangely graceful despite himself.
Fraser kneels on the bed beside Kowalski, leaning down to kiss him, letting a hand trail up from Kowalski's hip to circle a nipple, then to wrap into his hair, pulling his mouth tighter against his. Ray watches, reaching back to wrap a hand around the doorframe because otherwise he'd be wrapping it around himself.
"You gonna stand there and let us do all the work, or you gonna join in?" Kowalski asks when they pull apart, and Ray doesn't need any more invitation than that. He walks over to the bed and is about to climb on with them, but Fraser stops him with a hand on his hip. His other hand reaches up to undo Ray's belt, his fingers working on it slowly, deliberately, his thumbs reaching just inside the waistband of Ray's pants to stroke his stomach. Ray groans as Fraser pulls the belt out of his beltloops, and Fraser makes an answering sound. Ray doesn't understand why until he opens his eyes and looks down to see Kowalski unbuttoning Fraser's pants as he undoes Ray's.
When they're both naked and on the bed, it's Ray who reaches over to tug the towel away from Kowalski's hips, letting the fabric drag just a little across the head of his cock as he pulls it off, and he smiles at Kowalski's gasp. Kowalski twists out from under him and slings a leg around Ray, pushing and shoving until he's flat on his back on the bed, Kowalski pinning his hands back to the headboard and straddling him, too far up for Ray to get any friction against his cock. He groans, tossing his head back against the pillows, and Kowalski grins down at him before looking up at Fraser.
"What do you want, Frase?" he asks, voice low, and Fraser's eyes darken. "What do you want us to do for you?"
Fraser's tongue darts out to lick his lower lip, and his eyes flicker from one to the other, breath coming slow and hard. "I want�I want you," he says, meaning both of them.
"Yeah, we got that, thanks," Kowalski says with a grin. "I mean what do you want? You want to fuck him? You want to fuck me? You want him to fuck me?"
"Yes," Fraser gasps out, then flushes bright red. Kowalski's grin gets wider.
"Pretty eager there, aren't you?" he asks, leaning towards Fraser to kiss him. Ray takes the opportunity to climb out from under Kowalski, who doesn't seem to mind, and then Kowalski's hand is wrapping around the back of his neck, and he's being tugged in to kiss him, to kiss both of them, the three of them in a tangle of lips and tongues and hands, and it's so good, so fucking good he can't even stand it.
Fraser pulls away to lean against the headboard beside them, and leans over to open the top drawer of the bedside table and pull out a tube. Ray swallows, his throat feeling tight as he struggles to breathe, because this is real, this is actually happening, and that's Fraser sitting there watching him and Kowalski, slicking his fingers up. Kowalski stretches out beside him, face down, looking over his shoulder at Ray, who can't take his eyes off him.
"Ray?" Fraser asks him, and his eyes say may I? and drift down to Kowalski's ass. Christ.
"Yeah," Ray says hoarsely, and then Fraser's beside him, licking a stripe down Kowalski's back as he pushes one slick finger inside. Kowalski's bucking against the mattress, and Ray can't figure out what to do with his hands, so he rests them on Kowalski's back, rubbing the skin, letting them drift down his sides, up to his neck, into his hair, as Fraser pushes another finger in.
He doesn't know how long that goes on, running his hands over every inch of Kowalski, learning the feel of him, occasionally leaning in to taste his throat, the small of his back, behind his knee, but eventually he becomes aware of Kowalski saying something, begging, voice muffled in the pillow, hips arching up off the bed, and Fraser is pulling back to his spot against the headboard, his eyes fixed on Ray's.
Ray kneels between Kowalski's legs and he spreads them further, pushing back, desperate to be touched. Ray clings to Kowalski's hips, feeling the bones hard under his fingers, and he pushes in, both of them crying out wordlessly. He closes his eyes and thrusts, not gentle, not slow, because they're both desperate for it, driving hard at each other, needing release. Kowalski is fucking as much as getting fucked, his hips coming back in time to Ray's thrusts, one hand braced against the headboard, the other clutching around Fraser's thigh.
And Fraser�god, Fraser�he's sitting there with his eyes on them, his hand tight around his cock, jerking himself slowly, slower than Ray's pushing into Kowalski, and he can tell from Fraser's eyes that he wants to come, has to come, but he won't without them, and dammit if that doesn't just push Ray right over the edge. He's pounding into Kowalski, hard, erratic strokes, and Kowalski's let go of Fraser's leg and wrapped his hand around himself, thrusting, no longer in time with Ray, just driving forward, forward, forward, until he's curling in on himself, crying out, burying his face against Fraser's leg. And Ray, god, he can't hold on anymore, and he lets go, coming so hard he sees light flashing behind his eyelids.
He collapses on top of Kowalski, and when he opens his eyes, he finds Fraser with his head flung back against the end of the bed, hand pulling fast and hard at his cock, and that's just not acceptable. So he drags himself off Kowalski and collapses half onto Fraser instead, pulling Fraser's hand away and wrapping his own mouth around him in one movement. Then he's sucking, licking, and Fraser's already there, already coming into Ray's mouth and across his own stomach.
It's Kowalski who cleans them up, wet cloth cool against Ray's skin, and if he had the energy, he might have been surprised that it wasn't Fraser. But he finds that he really can't care all that much, because Fraser's chest is warm under his cheek, and his arm is heavy and strangely comfortable across his back, and when Kowalski comes back to bed and settles in on the other side of Fraser, all their legs end up tangled together until he can't feel which ones are his. He tries to figure it out, but before he can, he drifts off to sleep, deciding that it doesn't really matter after all.