Notes: Written for ds_flashfiction's space challenge. I blame llassah.
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Ray was ten the first time the aliens came down and turned him into a girl. He crawled back into bed and stayed there for three days until his dick came back.
The second time, it was much, much worse.
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He woke with his head pillowed on Fraser's chest.
It took him quite a few minutes to figure out that Fraser's chest was not supposed to be pillowy in any way, shape, or form.
He poked. There was jiggling.
"Fraser?" he croaked out, and winced at his morning voice. "Fraser, we've got a problem."
"Can it wait until morning, Ray?" Fraser asked, his words muffled in the pillow.
"It is morning, Fraser. And we have a problem."
"Is it a big problem?"
"It's�" Ray surveyed Fraser's breasts. "They're pretty big, yes."
He sat up and stretched, thinking that maybe the cold air might get Fraser moving. Instead, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror across the room.
"Make that two problems," he added, peeking beneath the covers.
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None of his shirts fit over his boobs, so he had to borrow one of those sleeveless white things Fraser wore under his uniform. His chest wasn't quite as impressive as Fraser's, but he tried not to let that bother him. After all, he definitely had better legs.
He kept checking himself out in the mirror when Fraser wasn't looking. He wasn't bad looking, all things considered. A little on the skinny side�not as curvy as Fraser�but he moved like a woman, and that freaked him out a little.
He was also checking out Fraser, because�wow.
Just�wow.
Talk about moving like a woman. It was like Fraser had been practicing or something. He was born to look like this. Those big pretty eyes, and that hair that Ray just wanted to run his hands through. Ray's hair hadn't grown out much�it was still short and spiky, just a little softer now, but Fraser's was down past his shoulders. He looked fucking incredible.
He still had broad shoulders, but now they were balanced by wide hips that swung a little when he walked. His features were softer�jawbone rounded out, lips just begging to be kissed. Ray didn't let himself, because once he started touching Fraser, he'd never be able to stop, and Fraser seemed to think they had things to do before they could get to the girlsex.
Typical.
First he tried to call the consulate to explain why he wouldn't be coming to work today. Ray wasn't entirely sure what he'd say, as "I'm sorry, Inspector, but I seem to have been temporarily beset by a case of�well, boobs, sir," just didn't seem to cut it. But it didn't matter anyway, since no one answered the phone.
Next he walked Dief, and Ray came along to keep him company.
Also to watch him walking, because, well, no bras.
Hey, no one ever accused Ray of being a gentleman.
Then it was "Oh, Ray, we should probably stop in at our places of business since we can't get them on the phone, just to let them know that�"
"That what, Fraser? That we've had freaky unintentional alien-induced sex change operations?"
And that was when they turned a corner and ran into a weeping man, who, on second glance, turned out to be Frannie Vecchio.
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"I liked being a girl!" she wailed as they led her into the precinct.
"You think I don't miss my dick?" Huey snarled from behind his desk, shoving hair out of his eyes impatiently. "Quit your bitching."
"This�is bad," Ray said in an undertone to Fraser, who nodded, looking around at the detectives who were now women, the aides who were men, at Frannie, trying to squeeze a few too many pounds of solid man into one of her skimpy little outfits.
"Yes, Ray. It is."
"Constable!" called a voice that was familiar and somehow not all at the same time. "Detective!" added another voice, and Ray and Fraser both cringed.
"Do we want to turn around?" Ray asked, and Fraser shook his head.
"I suggest we run, Ray," he said, but of course it was too late.
Thatcher wasn't much bigger as a man than she was as a woman, and she still seemed to have a penchant for walking around in heels. No surprise there. Welsh, on the other hand, was quite a surprise. He was, Ray had to admit, an unexpectedly attractive woman.
"So, Detective," he said dryly, "any ideas as to how we could have gotten ourselves into this�" he waved a hand around the office, "predicament?"
"Um." Ray shrugged. "Aliens, sir?" he suggested.
"Helpful," Welsh said, and Ray beamed.
"I thought so."
"Sir, you know, Detective Kowalski may not be entirely off base�" Fraser began, but Thatcher waved a hand at him.
"Oh, stop it, Constable. Aliens. I've never heard such nonsense."
"Be that as it may, sir, there have been reports of such unexplained phenomena for generations, and we'd be remiss in our duties if we did not follow every possible avenue of�"
"Constable," Welsh broke in, "don't bother. Aliens or no aliens, we seem to be stuck like this for the time being, and there is a mountain of cases on the detective's desk, so�" he trailed off, looked pointedly in the direction of said desk, and sauntered off to his office with Thatcher trailing behind him, trying to look dignified as she tripped on one of her heels.
Ray sighed, looking at his desk. "I told you we shouldn't have agreed to walk Frannie back here. She's a man, she can take care of herself!"
"Ray."
"Nah, don't give me that face. I mean, she's�"
"Ray."
"Seriously, Fraser, don't�oh. Oh, it's that face."
"Come here, Ray."
Fraser's fingernails weren't long, but they were sharp enough for Ray to feel them as Fraser dragged him across the bullpen and into the supply closet. As soon as the door was shut behind them, Fraser's fingers were sinking into Ray's hair, tracing intoxicating patterns across his scalp as Fraser's soft lips found his own.
Ray let his fingers walk up Fraser's back and tangle into the long black hair that had been tempting him all day. It was just as silky as it looked, and warm with Fraser's body heat. His hands didn't stay there long, though, because there was a fantastic set of breasts between them (two, actually, but only one that he was dying to get his hands on), and he wasted no time in sliding his hands up the front of Fraser's shirt, feeling the way his nipples tightened at Ray's touch, the way he let out a quiet whimper beside Ray's ear.
It took them a few minutes to realize someone was knocking on the door.
"Busy!" he choked out as Fraser's hands gripped his ass through the back pockets of his jeans.
Frannie's voice was muffled and urgent on the other side of the door.
"Not now!" Ray tried again, but she didn't seem to take the hint. Typical Frannie. Fraser gave Ray's cleavage one regretful look before pulling open the door and frowning at Frannie.
"What?" he asked in a voice that would never have passed his normal standards of politeness.
"Sorry to�" she waved a hand at their crotches, "you know, interrupt. But�I think you need to come here."
"Why?" Fraser asked, and Frannie grimaced.
"I think Dief's having puppies!"