Notes: Written for storydivagirl.
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They sat beside each other at the funeral and didn�t speak.
It wasn�t an angry silence, because the time for anger had come and gone years ago. Instead, it was merely the silence of two men who had no words left to say to one another.
That, in a way, was even more painful.
Sam had helped to write the president�s remarks when he flew in, because Will had frozen out of panic or sadness, and Toby was no longer around. Now he sat beside Josh and listened to his own words and discovered that they were hollow, empty. Maybe they would mean something to someone, but to him they just weren�t enough. Nothing would be enough, not for this man.
Maybe it wouldn�t hurt as much if he could just cry for him, but from the moment he had first answered the phone to hear the news, no tears would come.
He discovered afterwards as everyone milled around that he no longer belonged here. It was almost a relief when Josh asked him for a ride to the airport, and he said his few goodbyes quickly and painlessly. His goodbyes had been said a long time ago.
�Sorry,� Josh said as they got into the rental. �But there�s still a campaign to run.� The words and lose seemed to hang in the air between them, but neither of them gave voice to the thought.
They had both become accustomed to the space between them being choked with unspoken words.
The radio was broken, so they sat in silence most of the way. Josh talked about the campaign a little, but every story seemed to come back to Leo, so eventually he gave up. Sam took advantage of the quiet to watch Josh, to see the toll the years had taken on him.
There had been a time when he had thought that he could fix this man, but he had learned that it wasn�t possible, not for him, probably not for anyone.
He pulled up at the curb, but Josh didn�t get out, he just sat there for a minute, watching the people rushing in and out of the doors. �It was good to see you,� he said, and Sam tried not to hear the stiffness in the words.
�You too,� he said in a matching tone.
That made Josh turn and look at him, and Sam almost felt bad for the flicker of pain in his eyes. �Sam�� he began, and his hand reached out, fingers resting lightly on Sam�s wrist. But then he pulled back and shook his head, as if waking. �I�ll see you,� he said instead, and climbed out of the car without another glance.
Sam watched him walk away, wondering where they had gone so wrong.