Notes: Response to a challenge where I was given two characters, a line, and a song. Title belongs to Mike and the Mechanics.
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�Was it enough?� he asked the darkened room.
He expected no reply.
Eight years had passed here, in this office. Eight years, full of triumphs and tragedies, new joys and heartbreaking losses, and as those years passed, the clock in the corner seemed to tick louder and louder in his mind. In the beginning, when he had first taken his place behind this desk, it had been barely noticeable, a steady unobtrusive beat, keeping time as he settled in to his new life, his new responsibilities. By the beginning of his second term, the ticking was louder, reminding him that he was halfway to the end, keeping him on track, a steadying presence in his mind.
Now it pounded in his head like a death knell.
Time was up, and what did they have to show for it but a few more scars and a few less years to live?
�What do you think?� came a reply from the door. �Was it?� He lifted his head to find Toby standing there, leaning on the doorframe. �I�m sorry,� Toby continued. �I didn�t mean to�but Debbie�s gone�� he waved his hand back at the outer office and trailed off.
Jed shook his head and motioned the man into the office. �I was just��
�Talking to yourself. I noticed.� Toby chuckled.
�Tell me, Toby,� he said, leaning against the desk. �Do you think it was enough, what we did here? Do you think�we did all that we were capable of doing? Did we change anything?�
Toby shrugged. �Do you?�
He sighed. �I don�t know. I really don�t. I look at Santos and I find myself wondering if he�ll make a good President. He�s a good man, and he�s got good people, the best�but I don�t know if that�s enough. And then I look back at my eight years here, and I wonder...How do you say whether a man is a good President or not? Is it how well liked he was by the people? Is it how many people he helped? How do you even begin to judge success in this job? Who am I to stand here and judge Matthew Santos?�
�You�re someone who knows the job. You�re a man who can say that you know what he�s facing, and you know what it takes to survive it. And if you question if he has what it takes, well, I�ll remind you that that�s the same thing that people said about you in the beginning too, sir.�
Jed chuckled. �You always were the honest one, Toby.�
Toby raised an eyebrow. �And the others weren�t? I can�t think of a person who worked on your staff who was uncomfortable saying what they thought."
�No, maybe not,� Jed agreed, �but you were the one�you were the one who kept me honest. You never had any trouble saying what needed to be said. Josh would fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. CJ made a living by telling people only what they absolutely needed to know. Leo�s job was to keep me doing what was right for us politically. You were there to tell the truth. So now I want to know. Was it enough? Did we do all we could?�
�You want me to tell you if you were a good President, but I already did that. Years ago. And nothing has changed. We had ourselves a fair fight, Mr. President. And in the end, I�ll say that your better angels won out. Is that enough? I don�t know. But I�ll tell you what the measure of a President is, sir. It�s being able to look down the line and ask yourself if the world that my children or my grandchildren grow up in is going to be a better place because Josiah Bartlet was President. That is success in your job. So fifteen years from now, when my kids can vote for themselves, I�ll ask them for you. I�ll ask them if it was enough.�
Jed smiled. �You do that for me. I�ll be waiting to hear the answer.�
Toby nodded and turned to leave. �Thank you, Mr. President.�
�You know, you won�t be able to call me that tomorrow.�
A faint smile crossed Toby�s face, and he shook his head. �There was a reason I didn�t go over to the Santos administration, you know. I can�t imagine ever calling anyone else by that title. I found my President a long time ago, sir.�
He was almost to the door when Jed remembered that Toby had come to the office in the first place. �Toby,� he called after him. �Why were you looking for me?�
Toby paused at the door. �I wasn�t. I just�it�s the last night here, and�� he waved his hand at the office. �I don�t know. I�ll see you tomorrow, sir.� With that, he was gone, and Jed was alone with his thoughts once again.
So much had happened during these years. People had been lost, babies had been born, lives had been ripped apart at the seams and sewn haltingly back together. The scars of these years would be with them forever, some physical, some emotional, all of them painful. But the triumphs would stay with them too, and would leave marks just as permanent, if not as visible.
Jed reached for the lamp on the desk and shut it off, bathing the room in darkness. The moonlight played across the seal on the floor, and he stood over it one last time, remembering so clearly the day he had first walked into this office to take his spot behind the desk. Tomorrow, another man would take that walk, and he would live out his years in office, with a loving family and a caring staff to guide him every step of the way. He was a good man, and Josh and Leo had trusted him enough to support him. That was comforting.
The agent at the door opened it for him, and he emerged onto the patio, turning one last time to look into the office, to hear the ticking of the clock that tomorrow would begin a new cycle, keeping time for a new administration, a new man. It was not the sound of death, he finally realized.
It was just the sound of change.