Notes: Written for Get Fraser Laid.
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[Displaying saved messages.]
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Hoping all is well.
Greetings, Ray.
I apologize for the abrupt way your last call home was terminated, but Ray and I happened upon a kidnapping in progress as we were walking along. Thanks to Ray's quick thinking and some creative problem solving by Diefenbaker, the perpetrator was apprehended and all the puppies were returned safely to their mother.
I hope the conference is not boring you too badly. I do wish I could have managed the time off from the Consulate, as I would have found the whole thing fascinating.
Ray says hi, and also to bring home his ties safely for him, because he's seen the shape yours are in, and if there's the slightest bit of...well, anything�on any of them, he's never loaning you anything again. Diefenbaker asks you to bring back chocolate. (Please don't. You know how it makes him.)
You're right. Saturday does seem a long way away. Stay safe, and we hope to hear from you soon.
Yours,
Fraser
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To: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: Bags and bags of chocolate, Fraser.
That's what I'm bringing home. Just for me and Dief.
Good to hear about the puppies. Dief isn't thinking of adopting any of them, is he? He'd be a pretty irresponsible parent, I bet. You just know we'd be the ones cleaning up after the damn things.
Well, ok, you would.
(Can you imagine Vecchio with puppies all around the house? Pissing in his shoes, wrestling with his ties�we've got to take that guy dogsledding sometime.)
Conference is pretty boring. Would have been better with you guys here. Guess what I brought, though. Remember those webcams I bought a few weeks ago? Well I've got one of them hooked up to the laptop, and I'm pretty sure I got yours all set before I left.
Wanna chat tonight?
(Here's where you imagine me as one of those sexy people on the porn webcam ads, winking at you with really bad animation effects behind me. Know what I'm talking about? What am I saying? Of course you don't. Ask Vecchio to tell you about it when you're older.)
Miss you guys.
(Only spilled stuff on one of Vecchio's ties. Don't tell him.)
-- Ray
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
Subject: Just remember�
I have your car while you're gone.
You mess with my clothes, you mess with me, Stanley.
(And you've got Fraser searching the internet for webcam porn now, just to see what you're talking about.)
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To: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: Bite me.
Is he finding anything good?
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Yes, Ray.
I am finding some remarkable material.
Remind me to share it with you when you return.
(Also, remind Ray that when we are using the same computer in the same room, it's highly unlikely that I will not see what he's typing.)
Yours,
Fraser
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To: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: Hey Vecchio�
He can see what you're typing.
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
Subject: Hey Kowalski�
Go fuck yourself.
Oh, that's right, because we're here, and you're there, and you're the only person that you can fuck.
Poor guy.
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: [none]
Ray,
I have given Ray a stern talking to on your behalf with regard to tormenting you with the fact that you are alone.
He has assured me that he will make no further reference to the fact that we are together and may engage in any sexual acts we wish, while you are halfway across the country with only your hand for company.
Yours,
Fraser
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To: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: Wow.
You really know how to make a guy feel better, don't you?
(You're not, are you?)
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Wow
Not what, Ray?
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To: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: You're not�
�fucking without me, right?
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
Subject: Jesus, Kowalski�
You don't expect us to turn into monks just because you leave town, do you?
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Ray?
Are you still there?
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Ray??
Please answer. At least answer your phone. We're getting worried.
Yours,
Fraser
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To: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: I'm here.
Frase, I want you to do me a favor.
I want you to tell me, completely honestly (because I know you can't lie), if you and Vecchio have been fucking while I've been gone.
I'm not mad. I just want to know.
-- Ray
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Yes, Ray.
We have had sex since you have been gone. As, I know, you and Ray had sex while I was in Canada last month. It was never part of our arrangement that all of us are required to be in the room in order for sex to occur. If you'll recall, Ray has walked in many times on you and I in the shower, on the couch, in bed. I don't see this as any different, and I wish you had voiced your objections beforehand, so that we might have discussed it in person before you left.
I assure you, the fact that we are engaging in sexual activities without you in no way means that we are forgetting you, Ray. On the contrary. We miss you terribly, and both wish very sincerely that you could be here with us.
Yours,
Fraser
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To: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: You've seen me mad, Fraser.
�and this isn't it.
I'm just...I'm interested. What did you do?
-- Ray
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP" <[email protected]>
Subject: Well�
We had sex, Ray.
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To: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: Ok, yeah, that was stupid.
Never ask the Mountie sex questions.
I'll try you.
What did you do?
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To: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
From: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
Subject: If you really want to know�
I came home and found Benny in the shower. I joined him, he blew me, and I jerked him off, real slow, just like he likes it.
There's really nothing like getting a blowjob from him in the shower, is there?
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To: "The Real Ray Vecchio" <[email protected]>
From: "Ray Kowalski" <[email protected]>
Subject: There really isn't.
I want to see you. Both of you. Turn on your webcam.
I want you to fuck for me.
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[End of saved messages]