To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, April 29, 2005 11:12:13
Subject: Repent Sinner
What are you doing with your life. Why don't you stop spending your parents' money on shitty, over-priced clothes, and get a job.
Hey, hey, hey. Fuck you dipshit. I don't need a job. Piece of shit bitch ass, take that chronic hemroid breath. You've just been p3wnd. Go to Heaven, bitch!!
From: John
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, April 29, 2005 06:06:06
Subject: Die Asshole!
You're a stuped jerked face loser. U shud just go kill yourself already. My dad managez a Gap, you jerk.
Fuck your dad, and the GAP. GAP is for losers. Everyone there is happy and happiness sucks. No response? Noone can outdo my retorik.
From: Chester H. Petersby III, Esquire
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, April 29, 2005 11:62:14
Subject: Your Future, Son
I'm only writing this, to try to save your soul as part of my community service for beating a Belgian hooker to death with a lead pipe. Son, listen here closely, when you get older, you will realize that everything you are doing now is hogwash. You should just conform like everyone else to societal trends, and get used to it.
Look buddy, I don't know about you, but I had the whole world figured out 3 years ago, when I was 14. Work is for losers. It takes away from the time I use to memorize my spells. And not those sissy Harry Potter spells either, real spells, without any noticeable consequences.
From: Mel G.
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, April 29, 2005 11:62:15
Subject: Using your manstick
Why don't you wash off the make-up, put on jeans and a t-shirt, find a nice girl, and give her a good bones-jumpin'? I think that would end all this stupid shit.
Yeah, well mr. 18+, I'm only 17. I just hit puberty two days ago, dipshit. So, why don't you go get laid? How do you like that? Besides, I am way to cool for sex. Obviously way too cool for you.