| The Gazelle is a happy little Mammal, living in like, Austria, I think. It reproduces with, um, eggs, yeah, which the mother gazzellle incubates with her own body heat, for an amazing... ah, 5 days. Shortly thereafter, the Father Gazzelle wanders over in a drunken stupor, having gotten blitzed with his chums in the nearest pub, and usually gets into a violent frenzy which kills the Mother, all the eggs, 4 Koala Bears, 2 dolphins, and, strangely enough, One African Swallow. How the creatures have managed to survive this long, given their breeding habits, we simply cannot imagine. |
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| Gazelles definately do not look like this: |
| DogBert. Dogbert is a favorite character of anyone Familiar with the comic Strip by Scott Adams. If you aren't familiar with this cute little doggie, then Shame on You. You should go directly to the Dilbert WebPage, and find out about this fascinating character, who is so much like myself. Please Note, "Dilbert" and "Dogbert" are most likely Registered, copyrighted names. |
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| Ferrets: Small, fuzzy, Playful, smelly, energetic, social, these lovable creatures are cute to look at, and you can even take them for a walk, with little ferret leashes. I know, my Friends have Ferrets. They invaded my luggage, turning it into their playground. Unruly F****ing beasts. |
| The Noble Orangutan: Much like a human, but fuzzier. These creatures are known for eating soap, and for their parts in films, such as Dogma. Yes, even Jay and Silent Bob are friends with an Orangutan... the only problem? They are just butt-ugly, here, look. |
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| The Bolivian Wombat: Well, what can I say, In Bolivia, they don't have Wombats, but... Okay, just picture a REALLY angry Squirrel, clocking in at like, 32 pounds Foaming at the Mouth... like, Chip & Dale, on Acid, PCP, and Steroids... |
| Monkeys... Um, okay, just look at the orangutan, and, Make it smaller, okay? And, make it Less Orange. Oh yeah, oh yeah... make it less furry. Um, monkeys throw poop, do you really want any more information than that? I didn't think so. |
| CATS: What can I say, deceptively cute, vindictive, vicious, cunning, decietful, predatory, perceptive, and cuddly to boot. If there is any animal more like me, I'd like to find it. Cats know their places, which would be at the top of the world. Using Humans as their playtoys, these delicate creatures are fine, so long as they can hunt food. Even if you were to die tomorrow, your cat would just kind of step over you, on her way to get a mouse. With Cats, you really have to earn their love and respect, unlike dogs, who are just happy to not get beaten, twice. |
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| Look, There Isn't Anything DOWN HERE! SO QUIT LOOKING!!! |