Matthew,

I appreciate your concern.  Unfortunately, because of doctor's appointments
and a bad back as well as depression, I have not been able to fulfill that
particular responsibility that has been bestowed upon me by an unjust
society as well by a company with so much money.  In that, if two years ago
this would have occurred, I would not even know who you are and it would not
matter, because I could afford to just have the problem fixed and put away
with a smile on my face that all would be well.  I will indeed, send all of
the past materials, afterwhich I will continue to be working on my draft to
any and all attorneys.  Your company, of course, will just be added along
with several other requests.  Unfortunately, though, the letter for your
company will initially be directed to the Justice Department, the Consumer
Affairs Division within the Department of Interior as well as a hierarchy
within my state with which the country will follow.  In that, I refuse to
suffer anymore with this system, I've got work to do and if I don't become
more financially sound then the letter below will never make any sense.  In
that those, who are financially sound, as I once was, never worried about
wasting there time with a system that is such an obvious wash out.  Though,
as you are witness to the letter that I am compelled to send this morning to
all of those who I thought existed in my life during a time of need; if I
had not become part of the disaster and continued along with money in my
pockets many things would not have occurred.  Number one, I would have never
even been in a position to be beaten to a pulp, as I would have been safe at
home behind locked doors.  I would not have been falling farther and farther
until eventually my nervous sytem failed me and my mental health as well, to
where this project become an object of obsession because it was all I had
left.  It was all the hope I had to not be who I had become, through the
drop of a flag, or the shot of a gun, or the damn that didn't bust
preserving me just one thing.  My intelligence would prove you different, in
that a machine wasn't going to beat me like the river did, nor all of those
people who stood behind this machine, you have a job because of it, but I
would think by now it would be covered with a little shame.  Because I doubt
that your supervisors have not read what your read, but they too turn their
heads.  Do you want to know why?  Because they can, in that they don't have
to prove that they care.  So, I'm renting a printer, as odd as that sounds;
because through my education and struggle through life I acquired two, yet
both of them failed me within two weeks of one another.  That sort of thing
has become familiar though, in that in a sense a machine such as this, or
those printers, or the scanner whose cord is amiss, of somewhat become
representative of all the people who were once a part of my fishing party
list.  In that your interest apparently is greater, in that I don't think
your personal address would have become part of this picture, so I
appreciate that a great deal. It fact, whoever you are, I am becoming aware
of your integrity and character; whereas you would not have hung in there as
you have.

Yet, unfortunately, my back and this black hood that I've worn sometimes
rises up and reminds me of all of my incapabilities at times and the fights
that sometimes are not worth wining in the end.  Because as you too may find
one day, as they may too, that when the days come along when your old, weak,
and more alone in the world only because you've aged well but lost your
friends to the ground -- do whatever you must amongst all that you care
about with the strength that you have and pray that your life is not
burdened by accidents of life bestowed upon you holding you back from what
you want to accomplish.  Those around you that are your friends are worth
all the gold in the world, but if you make a mistake surely apologe quick if
you are aware of what you've done.  In that I failed all of my friends, only
due to a lack of awareness, something none of them had ever seen.  Because
when my world fell apart, which was all I ever had that made me who I was, I
fell apart as well only to wake up one day and find out that all the name,
addresses, and telephone numbers in the world didn't matter any more.  If I
didn't have the strength to get to the drugstore to get my medication, due
to the fact that I was starving or had become trapped by my car due to a
battery that was never getting charged, the telephone near me meant nothing
anymore.  Only because something happened one day, causing me to be the
person I fought not to be, knowing it could happen, thus I fought each and
every day to give and give and give to all of those around me fearing one
day I might need them, never knowing it was too late.  I had forgotten the
promise I had made to myself even, by taken all of their cares for granted,
forgetting my chances of falling and having such great needs.  So if I can
help you keep your job, so that you can afford to feed and nourish everyone
around you, if you think it will thicken the glue that has bonded you, then
so be it.  In that, if you forget and the bond weakens, then you are left
alone with a machine and some guy who really wants to know by the name of
Matthew, who exists in a world I once existed in without question by all
that I knew.  In other words, Mathew, the idea of sending you all of those
files can add just a little delight in my life only because I think God can
sometimes work in mysterious ways.  You see whoever the OEM's were that
truly are responsible for the existence of this machine, probably didn't
know that God was sending it to me, so that I would have a reason to wake up
every day.  In that, prior to last September, I didn't even know who OEM's
were, or why what my BIOS said meant anything, or how I should probably at
least extend a thank you note to the OEM's for the Seagate, or Pro Pentiums,
or MMX'S, or HTML, or HTM's which actually piss me off because they are
deposited within this thing without my permission, or all the other
ridiculous, but necessary accronyms, or my belief that Prentice-Hall,
Webster's, and even Microsoft themselves are not as capable as I am of
writing a dictionary that the 'real' people in this world need, in that not
everyone upgrades each year and some don't even know what OS means even
though at least they made it to WIN 3.0.  Because all they really want is to
know when they flip the switch is that it comes on and doesn't argue with
them all day or start spitting out Kernel32.dll files.  In other words, I've
done well this year, though unable to keep up with my correspondence,
worsened by a Data Tape that did not have all of it's pegs causing a rather
good HP to fail -- it too, one month after the warranty expired.  Yet, for
whatever reason, the end-user isn't even suppose to know that those pegs are
in existence -- but the book that came with it didn't tell the end-user
that, so how was anyone to know that it wasn't okay to try and fix something
that was so obvious.  The damn Data Tape was slipping giving error messages
to the printer, how much more obvious could that be.  The end-user could
actually, now (don't you see what eMachine, inc. has done for me) given me
the ability to know how to take that HP apart, replace the correct data
tape, and put it all back together again.  Companies don't want end-user's
to figure anything out.  Your company has shown that as pretty much a given.
The OEM's, the more I think about it were pretty slick you see, because they
didn't even give eMachine,inc. the ability to actually get into your own
system to find what I found.  The tape drive is hidden behind the wall, by
the way, where the hard drive is suppose to be.  The tape drive that your
company didn't expect, or probably even knew existed, until the end-user
decided to start printing out files to make them easier to read, in that it
is not a generic tape drive.  It was manufactured by Seagate, though it is
difficult at times to get Windows to recognize it, so then the end-user has
to take a few extra steps around corners that normally an end-user doesn't
even want to bother with, in that all this end-user wanted to do was make
enough money to leave this God-forbidden wretched area where the definition
between those who have and those who don't is a rather broad street.   So,
thank you, in that indeed I will do as you request just as soon as I gain
the necessary strength.  Forthunately, now, I am living somewhere whereas I
am treated with respect, in that my intelligent and style and my
once-learned, but lost ability, to talk, speak, and request became eloquent
again.  In that whatever copies I need, to spare me the price of ink, is a
given.  On Tuesday evenings, this place puts out a feast, wrapping up all
the leftovers to sneak into my refrigerator as they began to realize the
sallowness in my cheeks, and my thin wrists, and once in a while knowing
when not to speak as the shadow would glaze my eyes as it saw a lifetime
that once existed with which I believed to be true.  So, yes Mathew, whoever
you are -- the battle will still be fought; whereas, I think the Justice
Deparment will most definitely be made aware that you and you alone have
been the only one willing to except such a stance.  That your faceless
supervisor and those who pay him, do not matter in reality, with a company
that ends with .inc -- though those small little extensions may not be
something you even recognize, the Justice Department will -- with which, it
has now come to my attention that by contacting Microsoft, Intel, and the
National Semi-Conductor Corp. means nothing, except all of them being so
unwilling to recognize that by complying by some type of response would not
have ladened the fight even more giving me just one more day to think.  If
Microsoft was willing to be bundled with this system, the .inc has its legal
protections, nobody is protected from fraud no matter what.  Though it is
interesting that the system CD is missing that setupapi.dll file, yet as
opposed to just replacing the CD, the OEM's decided to make note of it.
Which makes me wonder, as the Justice Department will too, how could anyone
in your company allow this system to be sold by retailers whose
responsibility stops as the bright and shiny systems are placed on their
shelves.  However, because they are the final straw between the company and
the customer, they are more then willing to preserve their good name.  In
that I am more then sure, though Russel has a tendency to forget I'm his
'customer' regardless of our friendly relationship, that I have to remind
him that upon findings all of the eMafhines will be pulled off the shelves
of all the Office Depots across the country.  Last year was a killer retail
year in the market, so I truly do need to hurry, in that because of my bain
existence and torture has become nothing to anyone but you.  Whereas, I've
got to make sure that eMachine will go down this year, and that they will
not even be a blimp in the market place as technician upon technician begins
tearing them apart throughout the country.  Because do you suppose that your
company is so stupid, in that I've stated myself what the boys at the store
have already told me about your systems.  They don't sell them if they don't
have to, because they don't try to after all the complaints; even Russel may
put eMachines bright shiny face on his shelf for the money, he will stand
behind Office Depot before he will your company -- just as the other
companies that will follow.  So it actually amazes me that they just don't
give in now, in that it is my understanding that a class-action lawsuit can
put a lot of money in escrow leaving little capital for a company to work
with, in that it won't be the little subsidiary offshoot by the OEM's, but
the whole damn sha-boom.  In that to commit fraud, upon the poor no less, is
not something that our government will tolerate.  I can only say, I feel
even more sorrry for those who are so unaware as to why they are spending a
majority of their paycheck on their Sprint, AT&T,  or BellSouth bills due to
calling technicians for 'free' technical support.  Well, I had refused to do
that, and so the printer that arrives today will consist of all the files,
all the e-mails, and whatever in that Russel himself may actually have to
put his decision in writing or on a blank tape as advised.  In that, I could
have already been out of this living, mindless hell by now, if it weren't
for our OEM's, but now I give thanks to them for opening up my mind every
day.  Whereas, you or Sherri could have never known that you were dealing
with a customer who literally loves to do research and research I have,
everything from discerning every acronym to why one word may be in small
case to the importance of large case, to buying legal books, or using the
internet, or the fantastic and incredible libraries that surround everyone
in this city of huundreds of forgotten souls.  There is one who exists that
does not belong here and will be departing soon, but not before I own a
Compaq or Dell and a new printer as well.

I am planning on writing a note to some friends of mine, per awakening this
afternoon . . . late, with the following thoughts which might give some
insight into the added burden of this problem:

I lost my friends through naiveté,
Due to lack of recognition of my fall,
That a disaster had been bestowed upon us,
Some of us nothing, but many of us all.

I lost my best friend completely,
With whom naiveté was great,
Due to his lack of recognition and clarity,
That though disaster did occur, with some it was great.

As we were the disaster itself, never being caught
Still yet we languish through pious hope that some will see,
We all were left alone with a plight and a life now wrought,
Begging and crying did no good, they heard not our plea.

As though, my being beaten meant nothing,
My travels become my own stoic quite path,
As I sought from little strength within nothing,
As though all that I had known had raped me as well along that same quite
path.

You all forgot that I was the disaster and with fear you turned your heads,
not wanting to put out a hand, fearing the touch of grief might also become
a part of you.  So I travel that path spoke of in my poem called 'March
Rains,' the one where we all reach a fork and make a decision not only about
where we are going to go, but with whom we take with us.  The weak, it has
become obvious, you fear even more; though my memories serve me correct as I
remember all of your statements of grandeur in that none of you would 'do
that to anyone' as you all had once said.  Sometimes within my home at my
table, while we broke bread, I had faith in your words and thought for sure
that beneath us existed a solid rock called:  I'll always be there.

Yet, this is not a requiem to any of you, you took the path which showed
whatever ability you had in order to be witness to the suffering of a friend
and what you were all capable to bear.  This message is not a judgment, or
statement that I might think is true, only an observation that struck me
while alone in a world that has forgotten me while I wept upon wakening in
an unknown bed.

None of you were willing to recognize that I had lost myself in the fall,
that some man and my trusted society took whatever I had left and twisted me
into a person you know longer knew.  You all forgot who I was and all that I
meant.  You turned your backs, you walked away, the words of forgiveness you
all forgot.  Granted each one of you are justified as I may have thought I
was too, but as I fell, someone threw me down even further, along with a
society that didn't care while you all watched you closed your ears to my
cries.  But your weaknesses do not bother me, anymore then I should thank
you for tolerating mine for as long as you did, being my friend while you
could was great and understandable when you all walked.

I came to this town alone trying to find out if I could be like you, only to
find out that it is as though I never came, as the river washed whatever I
had of myself and all who I had become somewhere out in the ocean floating
now with the sea.  That person worked hard at every step to be the best that
she could be and so now her travels are different as she recognizes that the
fight was unjustified and unnecessary, to be alone was what I didn't
recognize I needed to learn how to be.

Though while you were there, you put a smile on my face, and I thank you for
that . . . I just wish none of you had given me what I cannot have . . . a
little hope and a little faith, that I lived in a world with people who
truly cared.

Sincerely,

Jean