HOW IT HAPPENED YO

THE EPIC STORY OF THE DISCOVERY OF LORD BARRET

There was once one day when I had no clue 'bout nothin'. Then I saved fifteen percent on car insurance. THEN I LEARNED THE TRUTH 'BOUT BARRETISM.

See like I'm askin' around and it's like

Lord Barret: YO whut the hell didn't Marlene make me a website or something yo?

Spikebutt: You haven't updated that old thing in ages, Barret.

So I like beat him up and shit and tied him to railroad tracks but THEN

Lord Barret: SHIT I don't know how to make no WEBSITE without that SPIKEBUTT and Marlene be with Elmyra for her SCHOOLIN' damn.

Tifa: Here, try google search! It'll give you time to cool off while I go and save Cloud from almost certain death. ....The ten line doesn't come early on Sundays, does it...?

So I'm like HOLY SHIT and then like I'm searching around and then cuz I'm cool I type in LORD BARRET and like this big ol' colorful list pops up so that must mean I'm sorta royalty I think.

BUT THEN.

I came across THIS shit and I'm like HOLY FUCK I BE A LORDSHIP HOO SHIT EXCEPT look.

RUFUS be there everywhere (I be Lord Barret the Scout, YEEEE-YAH) and so like Shin-Ra's been SCREWIN' UP MY LEGACY AND GETTING RID OF MAH JAPANESE AFRICAN AMERICAN HERITAGE which is apparently British too now so BLOODY HELLFUCK.

So yeah. I just made Barretism 'cause I'm cool. AND MY SITE GETS THE FIRST EVER LORD BARRET AWARD OF AWESOMENESS

I know how to make sites now yo. Adobe Pagemill is.... cool.

AND THEN I BOUGHT THE INTERNET BECAUSE I GOT THIS SPAM SHIT AND I WAS LIKE SHIT so I threatened the internet to surrender and it was like "ya sure" so now I own it. Fo sho.

MARLENE WORSHIP WAS NEXT 'cause yeah she my daughter and Dyne can't be here WHYY WHHYYYYYYYY she like Princess Lord Marlene or sumthin'.

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